parting company with air

bogwalrus

Been here since 2005 and finally reached my 1,000 post. Want it to be special so decided to start a thread on a topic close to my heart..........my arse.

I am a vegetarian last 8 years and eat a lot of foods that make me very gassy. My partner has tolerated this reluctantly over the last few years but I find many people in public do not have such tolerance.

It is such a natural thing to break wind and everyone does it. I once farted in a queue to pick up my social welfare a few years back. Instead of feeling embarrassed I just made a joke and people laughed then an old man a few people up in the queue made a ripper and everyone had to leave. That was unpleasant but I think he had problems.

I really wish people would just let nature be. Holding it in is such a pain in the ass (hee hee pun)

Anyone agree or want to share their fart story? Or even better can this be a sort of "fight club" moment where each person who posts must fart in public and share with us the publics response? Or just do one in bed next to your partner and we will take it from there.

urabell

How do you know someone is a vegetarian?

They'll tell you about it

bogwalrus

urabell wrote: »

How do you know someone is a vegetarian?

They'll tell you about it

end

Femme_Fatale

How do you know someone has a problem with vegetarians? They'll tell you about it.

wazky

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

How do you know someone has a problem with vegetarians? They'll tell you about it.

How do you know that vegetarians have a problem with people who point out the vegetarians are annoying?

They'll tell you.

Bipolar Joe

How do you know a thread will descend into a pointless, meandering back and forth between two people, rendering the thread useless to everyone else including the OP because no one but the two fucks, both of which are more intent on looking smarter than the other and use bullshit debate tactics? Because it's in AH.

Femme_Fatale

wazky wrote: »

How do you that vegetarians have a problem with people who point out the vegetarians are annoying?

They'll tell you.

I'm not a vegetarian, but no vegetarian I know makes a point of telling people they're vegetarian. It's a myth by people who have a weird issue with others having a lifestyle choice that doesn't affect them.

SEPT 23 1989

any excuse

bodhrandude

I thought you meant that you were in the French group Air and that you were moving off to do something else, is this what your saying?

ArtSmart

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

How do you know a thread will descend into a pointless, meandering back and forth between two people, rendering the thread useless to everyone else including the OP because no one but the two fucks, both of which are more intent on looking smarter than the other and use bullshit debate tactics? Because it's in AH.

he he.

Well, that's why were here in AH, isn't it?:D

wazky

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

I'm not a vegetarian, but no vegetarian I know makes a point of telling people they're vegetarian. It's a myth by people who have a weird issue with others having a lifestyle choice that doesn't affect them.

I never said you were, and the vegetarians I know always make point of telling everyone of their chosen lifestyle.

SamAK

I love farting. Especially after a good dump. Such emptiness.

What really annoys me is farting in bed. I have to pull back the covers, poke my arse out, fart out in the open and then quickly wrap the duvet around myself again. Otherwise it just hangs around under the blanket for ages and slowly seeps out past my head.

ArtSmart

bodhrandude wrote: »

I thought you meant that you were in the French group Air and that you were moving off to do something else, is this what your saying?

That's EXACTLY what I thought.

But no. it's about farting. Ah. AH. Ahhhh.

Bipolar Joe

ArtSmart wrote: »

he he.

Well, that's why were here in AH, isn't it?:D

I'm here for the craic, not to watch a small number of gob****es vomit on every thread they can.

The Backwards Man

Better out than in, as the old hooker used to say.

urabell

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

I'm not a vegetarian, but no vegetarian I know makes a point of telling people they're vegetarian. It's a myth by people who have a weird issue with others having a lifestyle choice that doesn't affect them.

It's not a weird issue, if it was you wouldn't have noticed it. You don't have to be adversely effected by everything you decide to comment on

bogwalrus

bodhrandude wrote: »

I thought you meant that you were in the French group Air and that you were moving off to do something else, is this what your saying?

No I left air years back after the virgin suicides. I wanted to record screaming children over the tracks. The producers said no so I left.

aaronjumper

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I'm here for the craic, not to watch a small number of gob****es vomit on every thread they can.

I love the fact that you are defending a thread about farting in public.
I'm not being a smart arse by the way.

ArtSmart

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I'm here for the craic, not to watch a small number of gob****es vomit on every thread they can.

you saying vomiting isn't funny?

didn't you see that Family Guy episode?


actually, they do a running fart gag too.



ah, yes. all good fun, 'til some one loses their virginity. or something

Bipolar Joe

aaronjumper wrote: »

I love the fact that you are defending a thread about farting in public.
I'm not being a smart arse by the way.

I'm defending it because somehow, on the first God damn page, it's already descended into an argument based on a shitty joke. This is a thread about farting, not about how many posts it takes to make your ego feel that little bit better because you gave out to someone on the Internet.

Also, farting is great and mine smell like chicken flavoured cat food right now.

bogwalrus

aaronjumper wrote: »

I love the fact that you are defending a thread about farting in public.
I'm not being a smart arse by the way.

Not just in public but the bed also. I can freely let them rip nowadays and it does not affect our love life at all at all at all. As long as I don't aim it at her and fart on her knees.

ArtSmart

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Also, farting is great and mine smell like chicken flavoured cat food right now.

If you could bottle that....

Nemeses

ArtSmart wrote: »

If you could bottle that....

...and sell it on eBay..

aaronjumper

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I'm defending it because somehow, on the first God damn page, it's already descended into an argument based on a shitty joke. This is a thread about farting, not about how many posts it takes to make your ego feel that little bit better because you gave out to someone on the Internet.

Also, farting is great and mine smell like chicken flavoured cat food right now.

I agree, I just think it's hilarious.
Thank you for that description of the smell Joe. (Now I'm being a smart arse)

ArtSmart

bogwalrus wrote: »

Not just in public but the bed also. I can freely let them rip nowadays and it does not affect our love life at all at all at all. As long as I don't aim it at her and fart on her knees.

Knee farts are the worse, after the classic Family Guy face fart.

You know you've reach an important milestone in your relationship with a significant other when you fart freely in each other's company.


now, I'm not saying if it's a good or bad milestone, just a milestone. (kilometer-stone for you young uns)

aaronjumper

bogwalrus wrote: »

Not just in public but the bed also. I can freely let them rip nowadays and it does not affect our love life at all at all at all. As long as I don't aim it at her and fart on her knees.

Ah jayzis. Hold her head under the covers, see if it affects your love life then. :pac:

It's 12:30 and I'm talking to complete strangers about farts. Where did I go so wrong. . .

ArtSmart

Nemeses wrote: »

...and sell it on eBay..

or the local health shop.

of course, you'd have to label it 'NOT suitable for vegetarians'...)

bogwalrus

ArtSmart wrote: »

Knee farts are the worse, after the classic Family Guy face fart.

You know you've reach an important milestone in your relationship with a significant other when you fart freely in each other's company.


now, I'm not saying if it's a good or bad milestone, just a milestone. (kilometer-stone for you young uns)

I think it's a good thing tbh. She must think its sweet that I trust her enough to fart in her company. Or wait maybe am i mixing things up here?

ArtSmart

aaronjumper wrote: »

Ah jayzis . Hold her head under the covers see if it affects your love life then. :pac:

It's 12:30 and I'm talking to complete strangers about farts. Where did I go so wrong. . .

the sixth pint

ArtSmart

bogwalrus wrote: »

maybe am i mixing things up here?

you speak a greater truth than you know.

john the one

here kiddo, dont tell me you dont get an extra star when you reach your 1000th post! argh for jayziz sake

SamAK

ArtSmart wrote: »

You know you've reach an important milestone in your relationship with a significant other when you fart freely in each other's company.

+1

I'm not on farting terms with the girl i'm seeing yet.....give it time though!

Then she's going to experience the full Dutch Oven. (Fart in bed and force head under covers)

Pure filthy degradation

bogwalrus

john the one wrote: »

here kiddo, dont tell me you dont get an extra star when you reach your 1000th post! argh for jayziz sake

Yeah can the mods give me those silver stars I see sometimes. I was expecting something after reaching 1k. Fairly disappointed I is.

ArtSmart

SamAK wrote: »

+1

I'm not on farting terms with the girl i'm seeing yet....

Now that has to go into the book of hugely funny expressions.

john the one

bogwalrus wrote: »

Yeah can the mods give me those silver stars I see sometimes. I was expecting something after reaching 1k. Fairly disappointed I is.

you should get a cocaine flavoured bun

ArtSmart

Pat: So how's things going with the new girlfriend?

Mike: Not bad. I mean, we're not on farting terms or anything. But not bad.

Karl Stein

bogwalrus wrote: »

close to my heart..........my arse.

What kind of creature are you?

ArtSmart

Charles Rocher wrote: »

What kind of creature are you?

Contorted.

Obviously.

Stavros Murphy

I thought this was about cancelling some sort of fancy broadband contract. Nope. It's farting. The exhalation of gasses you had no fcuking idea you'd eaten. I've never chowed down on a plate of wind. Yet out it comes. Could this be an untapped source of green energy? We could line up 200 vegans, have some plumbing and run a genny.

Mickey H

bogwalrus wrote: »

I am a vegetarian last 8 years and eat a lot of foods that make me very gassy. My partner has tolerated this reluctantly over the last few years but I find many people in public do not have such tolerance.

So, you don't eat meat then. Why? Because it's animal murder or something?
So what do you eat? Carrots?

Well, let me tell you something about carrots. When you pull them out of the ground, that's murder - carrot murder. And they scream when you pull them. I know because I've heard them.

bogwalrus

Mickey H wrote: »

So, you don't eat meat then. Why? Because it's animal murder or something?

I think there is too much meat been eaten by the western countries. It's not good for your diet and the treatment of these animals before they become food can be horrendous. The more people respect where their food comes from the better the treatment of the animals.

SamAK

Mickey H wrote: »

So what do you eat? Carrots?

Well, let me tell you something about carrots. When you pull them out of the ground, that's murder - carrot murder. And they scream when you pull them. I know because I've heard them.

Have a listen to this intro

"Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!"