Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Graduation mass help!!

Options
  • 14-03-2014 1:48am
    #1
    JacquesMullen
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭


    Hi, I'm an atheist leaving cert student and just found out that we have to do a mass at the end of the year I thought it was just a ceremony. I was told we all have to say a prayer as well. I don't want to do this for obvious reasons but I don't know what to do. I don't want to not go but I don't feel comfortable with going to a mass. Any advice would be really helpful.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    jamo2oo9
    Registered Users Posts: 5,780 ✭✭✭jamo2oo9


    JacquesMullen wrote: »
    Hi, I'm an atheist leaving cert student and just found out that we have to do a mass at the end of the year I thought it was just a ceremony. I was told we all have to say a prayer as well. I don't want to do this for obvious reasons but I don't know what to do. I don't want to not go but I don't feel comfortable with going to a mass. Any advice would be really helpful.

    Just go but abstain from the prayer stuff. I didn't do it at mine last year. No-one will bat an eyelid on you.


  • Options
    #3
    shruikan2553
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,113 ✭✭✭shruikan2553


    I just didnt go to mine. It was in the evening a few hours after school.


  • Options
    #4
    chatterboxxx95
    Registered Users Posts: 306 ✭✭chatterboxxx95


    JacquesMullen wrote: »
    Hi, I'm an atheist leaving cert student and just found out that we have to do a mass at the end of the year I thought it was just a ceremony. I was told we all have to say a prayer as well. I don't want to do this for obvious reasons but I don't know what to do. I don't want to not go but I don't feel comfortable with going to a mass. Any advice would be really helpful.

    Go to the mass, just don't pray and don't recieve communion. It would be a shame to miss it if its your graduation and I know in my school its a whole night out afterwards! So 50mins or so of somethimg you don't want to do to spend the last night with your year, just tune out and pretend you're far away :pac: I know it probably goes way against your principles but its a once-off


  • Options
    #5
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,142 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    Write your own prayer...it doesn't have to be a prayer.

    For example:
    "At this time let us think of the familes of people who <insert something here>. We hope they will find strength to get through it."

    No 'we pray', no 'God' etc..


  • Options
    #6
    JDOC1996
    Registered Users Posts: 445 ✭✭JDOC1996


    Just get over yourself and go to it.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    Dropping No Eaves
    Registered Users Posts: 178 ✭✭Dropping No Eaves


    Get over himself? In fairness, he is being forced to attend something he doesn't believe in. I'm not particularly religious and went to my grad mass anyway for the celebratory aspect, but I still think it's a valid complaint.


  • Options
    #8
    JDOC1996
    Registered Users Posts: 445 ✭✭JDOC1996


    Dropping No Eaves wrote: »
    Get over himself? In fairness, he is being forced to attend something he doesn't believe in. I'm not particularly religious and went to my grad mass anyway for the celebratory aspect, but I still think it's a valid complaint.

    I'm sorry, but to say that he's 'being forced to attend' is a ridiculous comment. Nobody is forcing him to do anything. I'm not particularly religious either, nor are a lot of people in my year but I'll still be attending mine. Who cares if the OP doesn't believe, it's not about the mass, it's about bringing the year together for the last time before everybody heads their separate ways and marking a significant milestone. There's no need to be so bloody PC.


  • Options
    #9
    dee_mc
    Registered Users Posts: 7,176 ✭✭✭dee_mc


    'Just get over yourself' isn't the most helpful way of expressing the sentiment in fairness! As Spurious suggested above, a non-prayer is the way to go. I've been involved in a number of Grad masses over the years and we've generally included a 'non-prayer' because realistically, not every 17-19 year old believes in God. Have a word to the teacher who's organising the mass and mention that while you don't want to compromise your own position, you still want to be a part of the celebration. Make it clear that it's not about drawing attention to yourself or your beliefs, that you just want to reach a compromise that suits everyone. Enjoy the night, the mass really is only a very small part of it as you'll all get caught up in the memories and the fun of it :)


  • Options
    #10
    Noccy_Mondy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,845 ✭✭✭Noccy_Mondy


    I know that in our school, everyone in the year attends the mass. You are under no obligation to participate in it. I remember last year two of the muslim students went up and said a prayer in their own religion and language, which was a nice touch, seeing as everyone isn't catholic.


  • Options
    #11
    Red Nissan
    Registered Users Posts: 3,055 ✭✭✭Red Nissan


    You can't be an atheist at your age.

    Go and support your fellow class members.

    Don't go because you don't want to. School does NOT own you!

    Pink Floyd had a cool song about education, another brick in the wall, teacher, leave that kid alone.

    I was 12, at my conformation, and I crossed my fingers. [Meaning I was there but not taking the vows etc] :D

    Don't sweat it, enjoy, whatever.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    Bassfacewhy
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Bassfacewhy


    Either don't go or just suck it up. They're not gonna make you chug holy water or whip you if you dont say all the words to the our father


  • Options
    #13
    peekachoo
    Registered Users Posts: 11,971 ✭✭✭✭peekachoo


    I went to mine last year and I'm not religious either.
    A lot of it anyway is just general speeches about memories of school days and handing out awards and all that.
    Just don't join in on the prayer and communion and stuff. Honestly nobody cares, and we had nuns at our mass :pac:


  • Options
    #14
    Daniel2590
    Registered Users Posts: 1,645 ✭✭✭Daniel2590


    Red Nissan wrote: »
    You can't be an atheist at your age

    Uh what?


  • Options
    #15
    Ompala
    Registered Users Posts: 899 ✭✭✭Ompala


    Daniel2590 wrote: »
    Uh what?

    Was wondering the exact same thing, why can't someone be atheist at that age??


  • Options
    #16
    Red Nissan
    Registered Users Posts: 3,055 ✭✭✭Red Nissan


    Ompala wrote: »
    Was wondering the exact same thing, why can't someone be atheist at that age??

    Just too young still. One might not have a Strong belief and one is still questioning everything and still coming to terms that one's closest family may have lied to one since infancy and all that rage etc.

    Most people do experiment with other religions and most atheists are also religious experts in their own right, by the time they are fully comfortable that they have explored other avenues and now strongly believe in their own findings.
    :)


  • Options
    #17
    Ompala
    Registered Users Posts: 899 ✭✭✭Ompala


    Red Nissan wrote: »
    Just too young still. One might not have a Strong belief and one is still questioning everything and still coming to terms that one's closest family may have lied to one since infancy and all that rage etc.

    Most people do experiment with other religions and most atheists are also religious experts in their own right, by the time they are fully comfortable that they have explored other avenues and now strongly believe in their own findings.
    :)

    Around 18 is not too young in fairness, most people I know had their minds made up before then about religion and haven't budged a bit.

    As for OP, just don't go if you don't want to. Its not going to make a difference tbh.


  • Options
    #18
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,142 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    One other thing the OP might keep in mind is that the graduation is not just about him/her. It's a big deal for parents too. I can guarantee no matter what school it is, that there will be parents at it who did not get to LC themselves and will be thrilled that their child did. This might not apply to the OP, but would somebody please think of the parents?


  • Options
    #19
    JacquesMullen
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭JacquesMullen


    Why exactly can't I be atheist at my age?


  • Options
    #20
    JacquesMullen
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭JacquesMullen


    JDOC1996 wrote: »
    Just get over yourself and go to it.

    Sorry but how would you feel if you had to go to a Muslim mass where everyone was saying Muslim prayers? No one knows I'm an atheist and its very intimidating being a minority in the west of Ireland. I actually have principles that I'd like to stand by,


  • Options
    #21
    JacquesMullen
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭JacquesMullen


    spurious wrote: »
    One other thing the OP might keep in mind is that the graduation is not just about him/her. It's a big deal for parents too. I can guarantee no matter what school it is, that there will be parents at it who did not get to LC themselves and will be thrilled that their child did. This might not apply to the OP, but would somebody please think of the parents?

    Never said it was and I totally agree. But why can't we have a secular celebration in the school hall? Why make it into a Christian affair? I don't go to a catholic school.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #22
    Leftyflip
    Registered Users Posts: 7,463 ✭✭✭Leftyflip


    Don't go if you don't want to. I'm a complete atheist and I was… coerced into going to my graduation mass.
    Don't do anything that you don't want to, but be respectful about it. It's not the end of the world if you don't go.

    Also, cant be an atheist at that age. I've been an atheist for as long as I can remember, well before I even left primary school. You can't be too young to be atheist. Sure by that logic, you can be too young to be catholic or protestant or whatever…

    …Oh wait a minute… Forgot how it's forced on kids...


  • Options
    #23
    LoveChanel
    Registered Users Posts: 197 ✭✭LoveChanel


    JacquesMullen wrote: »
    Hi, I'm an atheist leaving cert student and just found out that we have to do a mass at the end of the year I thought it was just a ceremony. I was told we all have to say a prayer as well. I don't want to do this for obvious reasons but I don't know what to do. I don't want to not go but I don't feel comfortable with going to a mass. Any advice would be really helpful.

    Tell the teacher co-ordinating the mass that you are atheist and you do not want to say a prayer. They can't force you to do it. You don't even have to go if you don't want to. I didn't go to my one and I definitely don't regret it.


  • Options
    #24
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,331 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Is it the fact that you have to say a player? Does everyone have to say a prayer by themselves or is it just a group thing? Sometimes in life you might have to stuff that you don't believe/want to/like and to be honest that's life. Would you avoid a family members wedding or a funeral? I doubt it. My advice is suck it up and go.


  • Options
    #25
    JacquesMullen
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭JacquesMullen


    But I still really want to go to a celebration of graduating from school... If it were a catholic school I'd understand but it's not, quite unfair really..


  • Options
    #26
    LoveChanel
    Registered Users Posts: 197 ✭✭LoveChanel


    JacquesMullen wrote: »
    But I still really want to go to a celebration of graduating from school... If it were a catholic school I'd understand but it's not, quite unfair really..

    Then stand up for you beliefs and tell whoever is organising it that you won't be praying but that you will attend the mass. You have to stick up for your beliefs and be true to yourself.


  • Options
    #27
    AtomicKoala
    Registered Users Posts: 881 ✭✭✭AtomicKoala


    JacquesMullen wrote: »
    Sorry but how would you feel if you had to go to a Muslim mass where everyone was saying Muslim prayers? No one knows I'm an atheist and its very intimidating being a minority in the west of Ireland. I actually have principles that I'd like to stand by,

    If I went to a Muslim or Jewish school I wouldn't be too upset over it :) They're not going to do the old snippity snip or anything :pac:

    Are you sure you're really a minority? Sure loads of young adults dont believe in god these days :)


Advertisement