When is the right time!

littlelulu

Hi all,

I have been thinking about this recently and just wondering what the verdict is.

When is the right time to lodge/cash a cheque given as a wedding gift?.

I would hate to do it straight away for fear of being seen as a vulture but then I would hate to leave it too long in case the sender is watching the bank account and waiting for it to go (I would anyway).


What would you consider an appropriate time?

First world problems eh!

seosamh1980

We lodged them all the Monday morning after our Saturday wedding. Not because we are "vultures", because we didn't want that amount of money/cheques sitting around at home where it could get lost, damaged, stolen, etc. If a cheque was lodged/cashed after a wedding firstly I wouldn't know or care once they did cash it, and secondly I would assume the couple were doing the same as we did, putting all their "cash" gifts away safely

Toots

I don't think there's a right time, honestly, if someone gives you a cheque as a gift, they expect it to be cashed/lodged! We did the same as seosamh1980. We got married on a saturday and were leaving for our honeymoon on the tuesday so we went down to the bank on monday and lodged everything in case we got burgled while we were away.

littlelulu

Thats what i was thinking alright. It was just one of those things that I thought about too much.

Thanks

littlelulu

Oh and by vultures I just meant the kind of couples who think the weddings are all about the cash gifts. I wasn't insinuating that people who lodge them sooner rather than later were vultures.

Hope that makes sense

hoodwinked

we were staying in the hotel for the weekend following our thursday wedding, so the next day on the friday we went to the towns branch of our bank and lodged everything rather than leaving it in the room while we were out and about.

Gatica

We were going on honeymoon the Monday after our wedding. We left all cash and cheques with the groomsman who deposited it into our account on Monday or Tuesday. We were going away for a month and didn't want that amount of money to be sitting in our house, in case of burglary. Plus it was nice to know we could dip in for extra treats into our account on our journeys.

rainbowtrout

I usually give cash/cheque as a gift and when it's a cheque I'm only too happy to see that it's cleared asap because if the couple leave it for a few weeks I've forgotten about it on the odd occasion and thought I had more money to spend than I actually did and then seen it come out of my account 6 weeks later and then had a stony broke fortnight because I wasn't expecting it. I gave it as a gift, it has to be lodged so I wouldn't think anything of seeing it coming out of my account in the next couple of days after a wedding.

It makes sense like a lot of other posters have said not to have a large sum of money/cheques lying around the house/hotel room after the wedding particularly if the couple is going on honeymoon straight away. Lodgement as soon as possible after the wedding is the best option.

Toots

rainbowtrout wrote: »

I usually give cash/cheque as a gift and when it's a cheque I'm only too happy to see that it's cleared asap because if the couple leave it for a few weeks I've forgotten about it on the odd occasion and thought I had more money to spend than I actually did and then seen it come out of my account 6 weeks later and then had a stony broke fortnight because I wasn't expecting it. I gave it as a gift, it has to be lodged so I wouldn't think anything of seeing it coming out of my account in the next couple of days after a wedding.

It makes sense like a lot of other posters have said not to have a large sum of money/cheques lying around the house/hotel room after the wedding particularly if the couple is going on honeymoon straight away. Lodgement as soon as possible after the wedding is the best option.

Or worse, you're stony broke already by the time they lodge it and it bounces! This is the exact reason why I opened a second account just for cheques and I just whack the money in when I write the cheque so the funds are already gone out of my every-day account.

I gave a cheque to my SIL for her wedding and it was about a month before they cashed it! The whole month was spent with me obsessively checking my online banking to make sure there was enough money in the account in case the cheque came through. In the end the hubby had a quiet word in her ear, but he phrased it as 'Just wanted to make sure you got the card.' instead of 'For the love of mike, will you just cash the cheque already!' :P

John Mason

we gave all the cash and cheques to the in-laws, a few days after the wedding to lodge when we were on honeymoon.

i wasnt comfortable having cash and cheques in the house when it was empty.

jlm29

Doesn't answer your question, big this is why I always give a gift cheque- the money comes out of my account when I get it, so I don't have to worry about making sure there's funds to meet it!

Toots

Actually just another handy tip that a Garda friend told me: if you're heading on honeymoon but are going to be at home for a few days beforehand. If you've put up all your cards, take them down before you go - you can put them back up when you get home. Apparently a lot of burglaries that happen to people that are on honeymoon have been in houses where there are cards all over the living room, so if a burglar looks in the window and sees all the cards, it's safe to assume there might be a lot of money/gifts etc inside. Not trying to scare anyone but I thought it's handy to know.

Gatica

Toots* wrote: »

Actually just another handy tip that a Garda friend told me: if you're heading on honeymoon but are going to be at home for a few days beforehand. If you've put up all your cards, take them down before you go - you can put them back up when you get home. Apparently a lot of burglaries that happen to people that are on honeymoon have been in houses where there are cards all over the living room, so if a burglar looks in the window and sees all the cards, it's safe to assume there might be a lot of money/gifts etc inside. Not trying to scare anyone but I thought it's handy to know.

Great tip. My hubby thought of the same.. I was about to spread the cards around the place but he gathered them up with the gift bags and obvious signs of wedding, and then the wrapping paper all went in the bin. No signs of wedding til we got back home.

PS: only wrapping paper went in the bin Not the cards.

2013LEO

littlelulu wrote: »

Hi all,

I have been thinking about this recently and just wondering what the verdict is.

When is the right time to lodge/cash a cheque given as a wedding gift?.

I would hate to do it straight away for fear of being seen as a vulture but then I would hate to leave it too long in case the sender is watching the bank account and waiting for it to go (I would anyway).


What would you consider an appropriate time?

First world problems eh!

Its up to yourself of course but I'd say lodge the cash straight away but don't lodge the cheques for two or three weeks (if yr not around you could give them to someone you trust to lodge). I was at a wedding once on a bank holiday Monday & the cheque I gave was cashed the following day. The wedding was 8 years ago but I still think of it & IMO it reflected badly on the couple. Some people might think that maybe the couple couldnt afford the wedding & had to lodge the cheques straight away, or that the wedding was a money making scheme & that guests were invited for their money.

Gatica

Maybe out of consideration for people who may think that wait an extra couple of days... Personally though, I consider myself parted with the money soon as I write a cheque. I won't think less of anyone for cashing a cheque I gave them.

LynnGrace

I generally give drafts now, because the money is taken straightaway from my account. If I gave a cheque, I wouldn't think any less of anyone for the cheque going straight through, I'd just see it as common sense not to leave it around, maybe lose it or whatever.

2013LEO

Toots* wrote: »

Actually just another handy tip that a Garda friend told me: if you're heading on honeymoon but are going to be at home for a few days beforehand. If you've put up all your cards, take them down before you go - you can put them back up when you get home. Apparently a lot of burglaries that happen to people that are on honeymoon have been in houses where there are cards all over the living room, so if a burglar looks in the window and sees all the cards, it's safe to assume there might be a lot of money/gifts etc inside. Not trying to scare anyone but I thought it's handy to know.

Another idea is to not have yr photo in the newspaper until after you come back from honeymoon. The photo can still be taken on the day but just tell the photographer and/or the newspaper not to put it in the paper for two weeks (or whenever yr back).

Gatica

2013LEO wrote: »

Another idea is to not have yr photo in the newspaper until after you come back from honeymoon. The photo can still be taken on the day but just tell the photographer and/or the newspaper not to put it in the paper for two weeks (or whenever yr back).

People do that? Why would anyone want to be in the paper for that?

2013LEO

Gatica wrote: »

People do that? Why would anyone want to be in the paper for that?

??? Are you asking why do people put their photo in the paper when they get married?

Gatica

yes.

Just to clarify, I thought the people-info published is usually the death notices, not that I read them or anything.

2013LEO

Gatica wrote: »

yes.

Just to clarify, I thought the people-info published is usually the death notices, not that I read them or anything.

I'm not talking about national newspapers - wedding photos are often published in local newspapers.

Gatica

oh, right. Sorry, I didn't realise that.

Arbiter of Good Taste

I don't get people who think that depositing the cheque immediately makes the couple "bad" or "greedy". Frankly I think it's very meanspirited on the part of anyone who thinks that.

If they have a problem with the timing of cashing the cheque, maybe they should just stick to giving a "nice" gift.

For me, the quicker the cash is gone from my account, the better.

2013LEO

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

I don't get people who think that depositing the cheque immediately makes the couple "bad" or "greedy". Frankly I think it's very meanspirited on the part of anyone who thinks that.

If they have a problem with the timing of cashing the cheque, maybe they should just stick to giving a "nice" gift.

For me, the quicker the cash is gone from my account, the better.

It would be a strange world if everyone thought the same. IMO its a matter of politeness to wait a while, the same way if you were given money as a child and ran straight to the shop in front of the person that gave it to you, yr parents wouldn't be too happy. (you = a child in general). People have different opinions, thats why the question was asked in the first place.