New workmate's nose snorting - reason to kill him?

IamtheWalrus

An extremely undesirable has joined my team in work. I sit near him and every 5 minutes he makes a revolting snorting noise with his nose.

Is that a valid reason to kill him? If not, what else can I do?

donegal.

trip, and accidentally staple his nose shut.

waraf

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

An extremely undesirable has joined my team in work. I sit near him and every 5 minutes he makes a revolting snorting noise with his nose.

Is that a valid reason to kill him? If not, what else can I do?

put some headphones on

shopaholic01

Hand him a tissue and tell him to blow his nose, if he wants to snort go work in a stye.

This is one thing that really irritates me. :mad:

waraf

shopaholic01 wrote: »

...if he want to snort gow work in a style.

yep - couldn't agree more :rolleyes:

pundy

dont worry about it and get on with your life?

bbam

Particularly acceptable if you stream the killing live..

LynnGrace

I'd go mad. I sit near someone who chews loudly, all day. Thankfully I am moving soon.

minotour

we had one of these, poor chap had a massive conk though so it was a physiological problem for him. During the cold months it became unbearable, someone eventually told HR and now you see him the jacks on the hour every hour clearing his snout........must have been a fierce awkward conversation with HR though.

shopaholic01

waraf wrote: »

yep - couldn't agree more :rolleyes:

Sorry, autocorrect!:D

frag420

waraf wrote: »

put some headphones on

The noise is coming from his nose, not his ears!!

The best thing to do is the next time he is snorting punch him on the back of the head. The next time he attempts to snort he will assoc it with head pain and not bother. Its simple really........

Ha ha headphones:rolleyes:

Pumpkinseeds

Leave a packet of nasal strips or a Vicks nasal spray on his desk.

shopaholic01

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Leave a packet of nasal strips or a Vicks nasal spray on his desk.

The last thing he needs is a decongestant, it will only result in more snot to snort.

suicide_circus

justifiable homicide? I think so

Jesus Wept

No court in the land would convict.

Stavros Murphy

I think killing him is a bit extreme really. Have you considered just maiming him? People fall down the stairs all the time. As he topples, casually remark "sniff that". Then deny all...

131spanner

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

An extremely undesirable has joined my team in work. I sit near him and every 5 minutes he makes a revolting snorting noise with his nose.

Is he also a walrus?

Ihatecuddles

My brother always does that nose clearing thing, then I hear it in his mouth. Guaranteed to make me gag.
My sister does it too.

F*cking vile humans.

BillyMitchel

OP, go on the thread about committing murder and getting away with it. Lots of hints and tips.

Just freak out one day and just scream right in his face - STOP IT, STOP IT YOU DIRTY FOCKING PIG. I bet he'll never do it again. Just be careful where you leave your lunch.

PizzamanIRL

Send him to the zoo.

Sir Osis of Liver.

What do ye work at OP?

If its something nose related you don't have a case for murder.

diomed

minotour wrote: »

we had one of these, poor chap had a massive conk

I had to read that twice.

Deminiman

Copy him every time he does it, see if he notices. Then after a while (maybe 20 snorts or so) casually turn and smile at him as he waits for you to copy him, he might get the picture.. If not, then kill him.

steveone

Does he snort and then swallow his snot? Gross- make your HR officer earn their crust and complain ha. Whats he like for B.O and slurping tea ha.

Annasopra

minotour wrote: »

we had one of these, poor chap had a massive conk though so it was a physiological problem for him. During the cold months it became unbearable, someone eventually told HR and now you see him the jacks on the hour every hour clearing his snout........must have been a fierce awkward conversation with HR though.

Read that as cock at first...

moy83

If you could manage to fart everytime he snorts it might train him to stop .

steveone

Deminiman wrote: »

Copy him every time he does it, see if he notices. Then after a while (maybe 20 snorts or so) casually turn and smile at him as he waits for you to copy him, he might get the picture.. If not, then kill him.

When you have a conversation with him casually use words like snort, sniff. Grunt etc- you might make him self conscious

IamtheWalrus

He's at it again this morning. He's doing so often that my paranoid head is telling me he has read this thread and is doing it to piss me off.

BillyMitchel

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

He's at it again this morning. He's doing so often that my paranoid head is telling me he has read this thread and is doing it to piss me off.

Stab him through the cheek with a pen, then put you willy in the new hole and wriggle it around.

cocker5

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

An extremely undesirable has joined my team in work. I sit near him and every 5 minutes he makes a revolting snorting noise with his nose.

Is that a valid reason to kill him? If not, what else can I do?

absolutely.....

that and people who eat with their mouth open for all to see and people who chomp / eat loudly..... for gods sake people keep it to youself.

I'd say go for it... its a form of mental tourture IMO , that could be your defence

IamtheWalrus

We have a new team structure in my office. I've been moved to a new team of 2 - me and snorter. He'll soon me sitting next to be, snoring.

anncoates

It's a genetic nasal condition. Do some work and stop talking about me.

And cover your screen when on boards.

mikemac1

Push him down the stairs OP

Kettleson

He struggles into work so as not to let the team down, suffering from what sounds like a very bad cold and you give him a right good doing on Boards, harbouring thoughts of murder.

You need to talk to someone about your violent thoughts. Instead all staff should gather round him and say a Novena for the next 10 mornings that his nose will stop running. When your prayer is answered you should publish your prayer in the Business Section of The Irish Times. Failure to do so will result in his, and all staff involved, noses running until you are 65. Sniff...

Deminiman

:-o should have killed him

OldNotWIse

moy83 wrote: »

If you could manage to fart everytime he snorts it might train him to stop .

I wish I could work in that office...:pac:

Dixie Chick

Some people aren't even aware they do these things so Id say just say it to him, or HR or something. Try that before killing him if you can manage it

Mr. CooL ICE

Have sex with his wife. It won't address the issue but a ride is a ride.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

The lack of compassion is of concern. Has your workmate got a cold? Is it a habit? Does he have an issue with his nasal cavity?

Have some heart OP...

force eleven

Something sniffy about this thread. Who nose where it will end up? .Could keep running.

OP is your pal Irish? Or is he a Roma....

DeanAustin

minotour wrote: »

we had one of these, poor chap had a massive conk though so it was a physiological problem for him. During the cold months it became unbearable, someone eventually told HR and now you see him the jacks on the hour every hour clearing his snout........must have been a fierce awkward conversation with HR though.

People go to HR over stuff like this? Jesus Christ.

I generally dislike HR but if this is the sort of nonsense issue that they have to deal with, I'll start cutting them some slack.

AlanG

Tell him a story about a really annoying person that was sitting next to you on the bus and wouldn't stop snorting. Say how disgusting it was and wonder aloud why they don't just clear their nose properly.

IamtheWalrus

Is it because of a cold? I don't think so. Can one have a cold for weeks? It's just a disgusting habit that he has that's he was never reprimanded for doing by anyone in the past.

Dramatik

Join him for a line in the jacks next time, it should take the edge of things...