thailand

LegacyUser

I'm in my 30's and a few years ago I went to thailand because I was a virgin with low self esteem and I wanted to lose it so I went for the bar girls and had a good time. I'm not looking for judgement and I'm not particularly guilty although sometimes I do think if it was the wrong choice but what I did like alot of guys that go over, really are searching for affection and intimacy as opposed to sex, although in saying that I won't do it again. I was wondering if I should ever disclose this to a future girlfriend, I want to have an open and honest relationship with any future girlfriend but if we ever broke up theres no guarantee she would keep it to herself?

Neyite

If you mean prostitutes when you say bar girls, then you might find that some do have strong opinions on the topic. But you wont know probably until you talk to someone about it and see what their personal point of view is.

Holsten

I would advise you to keep that to yourself.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

No, don't confess it. Everyone has a past. Regardless if you practiced safe sex, get an STI test, and put it to the back of your mind.

It's nobody else's business.

Meauldsegosha

There has been many threads on this forum where posters have discussed numbers and past sexual encounters with a new partner and it has caused problems.

While it's admirable that you want to have an open and transparent relationship with further girlfriends sometimes they don't need to know everything.

stargazer 68

should I keep this to myself wrote: »

I was wondering if I should ever disclose this to a future girlfriend, I want to have an open and honest relationship with any future girlfriend but if we ever broke up theres no guarantee she would keep it to herself?

Op there is open and honest and there is too much information. In my opinion this is too much information!

Mickey Dazzler

Do not tell any future partner this. Just don't.

Just think of all the things she won't be telling you. Everyone keeps certain information private in the real world.

Merkin

I don't see what could possibly be gained from such a disclosure.

Lovely Bloke

Get tested, you are probably fine after so long, but do get tested.

then, with any future gf, don't tell them unless the test comes back with something.

ElleEm

Baldy Conscience wrote: »

Get tested, you are probably fine after so long, but do get tested.

then, with any future gf, don't tell them unless the test comes back with something.

This is exactly what I was going to post.

Although in future relationships, it may come up how you lost your virginity, so you have to be prepared to respond to that question.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

ElleEm wrote: »

This is exactly what I was going to post.

Although in future relationships, it may come up how you lost your virginity, so you have to be prepared to respond to that question.

"Girl I went to college with. Haven't heard anything about her in years. Think she lives abroad now."

I'd never ask any partner how or whom they lost their virginity to. I'd shudder at the mental image! Their with me now, so leave it at that is my attitude.

shadowcomplex

ElleEm wrote: »

This is exactly what I was going to post.

Although in future relationships, it may come up how you lost your virginity, so you have to be prepared to respond to that question.

I'd say I had a one night stand with a girl in santa ponza or playa des ingles and leave it at that

Neyite

Or, maybe instead of lying when asked how you lost your virginity, you can say that out of respect for the person who was with you, you'd prefer not to go into details, but that it was nice, brief, and you both went your separate ways afterwards.

The only thing that is necessary to disclose is:
1. You used protection.
2. You have had an STI test/would be willing to have an STI test if you both decide to choose a non-barrier method of contraception.

token56

When it comes to something like this I would always ask the question what is there to gain by giving out such information? Make you are clear of any STI's and put it behind you. If the topic comes up about your virginity or how many sexual partners you have had, etc, do what has been outlined by the previous poster. If it doesn't come up, you gain nothing by talking about it.

Tokyo

OP, it looks like you have received a pretty unanimous answer, so I am going to lock the thread. Please PM me if you wish for it to be reopened.

Regards,
Mike