How to get my groove back!

LegacyUser

I'm female, mid-20s, in a long term relationship.

I used to have a really high sex drive, much higher than my boyfriends. But in the last year or so, it's just disappeared. I have had a stressful year and things still aren't great so that's probably a lot of it. The pill I'm on could also be a problem. But I feel like I've just fallen out of the habit of having sex more than anything. When my boyfriend initiates now, I find myself thinking of excuses and will only have sex if he persists. To be clear, I love him very much, find him extremely attractive and enjoy sex with him.

What can I do to get my groove back?

Tokyo

OP, your first port of call should be to your GP, as it may be, as you suspect, a side effect of your current contraception pill - there are a number of threads of this nature on this forum and often a change in contraception can make all the difference - but ultimately, only a doctor can help you with that. Only after visiting your GP should you really consider other possible causes (and solutions) of this issue.

retro:electro

OP the whole time I was reading your post I was thinking to myself I wonder is she on the pill, and then you said you were. I can't confirm it in your case but I do know that the pill can absolutely cause a decrease in sex drive, so much so where you don't even think about sex anymore let alone having it!
You could always come off it for a few weeks and see for sure if that's what's causing it, but be prepared for a surge of hormones once you come off, some good and some bad!!

Rainbow Kitty

anna080 wrote: »

OP the whole time I was reading your post I was thinking to myself I wonder is she on the pill, and then you said you were. I can't confirm it in your case but I do know that the pill can absolutely cause a decrease in sex drive, so much so where you don't even think about sex anymore let alone having it!
You could always come off it for a few weeks and see for sure if that's what's causing it, but be prepared for a surge of hormones once you come off, some good and some bad!!

+1 to this OP, this happened to me, 3 years ago i got the contraceptive implant and my sex drive disappeared completely, so did the guy i was seeing and at the time i didn't care. Fast forward 3 years when the implant came out and i couldn't believe it as Anna080 has said the surge of hormones was unbelievable, the sex drive came back with a vengeance. I'm sure the pill has the same effect as they are the same hormones coming from it. As Anna has said maybe have a break from the pill for a while and see how you get on.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. Will have a chat with my GP.

Kenkashin

Hi, I don't really know if any of these things will help, but the help me so maybe give them a try:

1: Go on a sex ban with your boyfriend. I find if i know I'm not allowed have sex with my boyfriend until a week or twos time, then I'll want to have sex waaay more.
2: Ban sex in your bed. We've all had sex there a million times and eventually you know what to expect. If you have to use the floor or a sofa it'll get you more excited and add spontaneity to your relationship.
3: Make yourself feel prettier. I know when I feel sexy, I want to have sex more. So buy some nice undies, shave your pins and slap on the make up and see how you feel.
4: Blue pills... I tried these before from Ann Summers. I know its kinda embarrassing but they really do work (the triple strength ones).

I know these are all short term measures but sometimes they help.