Getting older and not getting any better

LegacyUser

I'll be soon a 27 year old male, educated and have well paid career with great prospects. One thing I have that has always eluded me is relations with the opposite sex.

The last time I even kissed a girl was when I was 19, other then that I only kissed two other girls when I was 15 and that sums up my history with women.

My self esteem has always been up and down. When in school I didn't have any problems getting on with the guys actually got on really well with most of the guys from my year due to me playing sport with most of them but the girls I didn't really interact with many of them but four girls and one in particular would make me feel really low about myself. They would shout "eww" at me or say "X really fancy's you" just to get a reaction out of me but I always would just ignore them like I hadn't heard them. This compounded with the fact I am dyslexic and sometimes stuttered would leave me with low esteem.

Then in University I can remember my first night sleeping in my own place thinking this is where its going to be different. Sure look at all the films on about college everyone is having sex. While I did enjoy my time there, I did a all male course so female interaction was very had to come by and I only ever kissed one girl during my 4 years there.

After that I moved to the UK which turned out to be a disaster socially for me as I can count on two hands the amount of friends I met there. At one stage I even lived with three girls who had there friends around lot but that didn't even help matters.

So when I got a job in Dublin a few months ago I started going to meetup groups to expand my social circle going two a week. While I haven't had any success stores to talk about, I have been talking to loads of different people which is great for my conversations skills and even confidence. At the few weekend away groups there has been a few girls who has shown an interest in me but the feeling hasn't being mutual. But any girl I do like there seems to about ten other guys who are fighting for her.

Even if I had a chance I don't think I would be able to show that I am interested never mind try and kiss her.

Now I not longing for a relationship but I would love just to having a bit of fun which I am not and its really frustrating seeing some of my mates pick up girls so easily. I just wish I was able to do the same.

Also my family and friends always seem to think I am hiding some girl from them as I never talk about it but in truth is a lot worse. I kinda feel like I have failed at this aspect of my life.

I feel as if I will reach 40 and will have never had a girlfriend. What can I do to improve myself with girls and not be the 40 year old virgin?

Holsten

OlderButNotWiser wrote: »

Even if I had a chance I don't think I would be able to show that I am interested never mind try and kiss her.

Now I not longing for a relationship but I would love just to having a bit of fun which I am not and its really frustrating seeing some of my mates pick up girls so easily. I just wish I was able to do the same.

Here you go. You don't do anything yet expect to be picking up women. You just simply have to get out there and do it. Move out of your comfort zone. You say you are talking to loads of new people and gaining confidence, so use that.

Ask some of the girls out on a date! Tell them you are interested directly, no waiting around, no games. They either say yes or no.

In these situations you really need to adopt a don't give a crap attitude. You seem held back by fear like most men are. Just go for it or else your situation will not change.

gavdolfini

Bang an escort get it out of your system!

jescart

gavdolfini wrote: »

Bang an escort get it out of your system!

Then add a list of potential STI’s to the OP’s worries, yeah that's just what he needs!

gavdolfini

Go somewhere that has it legalised. Man needs to explore!.

banquo

gavdolfini wrote: »

Bang an escort get it out of your system!

Do not take this advice.

OP, join a gym (or exercise for a while first), or maybe join Toastmasters to learn a bit about public speaking and your confidence will absolutely soar.

gavdolfini

yea bit of exercise will pull all the ladies!:rolleyes:

gym will help if youd like to tone up if needs be but not important. Join an online dating website, start off slowly that way. gl

Neyite

gavdolfini wrote: »

Bang an escort get it out of your system!

Read the Charter before posting in PI again.

gavdolfini

no thanks

Tokyo

gavdolfini - infraction for ignoring a mod instruction, and generally adding nothing to the thread with your last post. Do not post in this thread again.

regards,
Mike

gavdolfini

thought was 2nd last post was very helpful.

SteelyDanJalapeno

Power trippin mods over here I see

Tokyo

gavdolfini - infraction for ignoring a mod instruction, again. Next one is a ban, Not the best record 17 posts into your time on the forums.

TiltedBrain - infraction for ignoring all of the previous moderator instructions. The nature of the PI and RI forums being what they are, these forums are heavily moderated, and any form or muppetry is not allowed, as per the forum charter. If you have an issue with the actions of any moderator here, feel free to use the "Report Post" feature, or take it up with a CMod or Admin.

Regards,
Mike