Ego defence mechanisms question (maybe for a qualified person!)

Greystoner

Hi, I am doing a course and I have to identify a defence mechanism that I personally use, why I use it and how it affects me.

I have a list of the defences and understand the meanings, but I am not sure which one to use as my illustration.

Could someone please help suggest one for me...

I would say since a significant bereavement over 3 years ago, I find it hard to talk about it, and the person, I can't look at any photos and can't bring up any happy memories, only memories from the actual trauma time from the phone call to the funeral. So I am sure there is some kind of DM or block there? Not sure what this would come under though?

I would be very grateful for any help on this! Thanks.

biko

Tbh, I'm not sure that is a DM in the classical sense.
If you're doing a course you should probably use something that fits a "classic" profile.

Greystoner

Maybe I am lucky in the respect that I don't really have any 'issues'!!! Because I can't think of anything else in my life that I could use as an illustration.

Problem above is not really 'denial' and that is the closest thing I could have put it into, but can't think what else?!

Any other hints gratefully received, thanks.

Torakx

Maybe a DM relating to your bereavement story would be the reaction you have to prevent the pain of the memory.
Like if someone wants to talk with you about it, like a fmaily member and you do something to prevent that from happening. Maybe you change the subject or you get angry etc.
To me that would be an example of a defence mechanism.
There may also be someting there with the ego and self image to explore. We tell ourselves allsorts of things to make ourselves think we are right or alright, when in reality we may not be. Our minds can be so cunning

But I am only a layman here, so someone else could probably confirm this idea or let us know if it is way off.
Just some examples..
suppression
pushing into the unconscious
trying to forget something that causes you anxiety

repression
pulling into the unconscious
forgetting sexual abuse from your childhood due to the trauma and anxiety

Greystoner

Thanks for that. I think I do try to prevent talking about it with family members, I do change the subject or divert attention somehow.

Do you think by not looking at photos or talking and thinking about good memories, this could be an unconscious way of trying to block out the reality? Trying to avoid anxiety and pain. Would this be suppression? I am not sure it is denial? Because I have accepted that the person has gone etc, but because the void is so large, I try to avoid looking into it.

Makes you think, but I am only an amateur in the understanding of why I do this. Hard to write about it when I don't fully understand. I am pretty sure on the course they will want a straight forward answer with the DM described distinctly!

Torakx

Well of the two I posted, it sounds more like supression.
But maybe there are other DM's or keywords more like "avoidance".

I love the way students are encouraged to analzye themselves.
Not only do you learn how to help others, but you end up knowing yourself that much more.
A nice habit to continue even if it is not required.

Maybe google search the avoidance. some solid keywords might get you some inspiration or keywords that match DM's.

Labarbapostiza

Greystoner wrote: »

I would say since a significant bereavement over 3 years ago, I find it hard to talk about it, and the person, I can't look at any photos and can't bring up any happy memories, only memories from the actual trauma time from the phone call to the funeral.

Do NOT diagnose. Do not give medical/legal/professional advice. Warning given. PLEASE READ THE FORUM CHARTER BEFORE POSTING. JC

You should consider seeking therapy. If it's really causing you misery, talk to your GP, and the other supports.

bluefinger

sorry op but my understanding of dm's is that they are largely unconscious? therefore any attempt by you to describe ones you personally use are futile?

dar100

WE all use DM's everyday, from rationalizing eating an extra biscuit, to denial of our feeling, to sublimation our libido into socially acceptable activities, such as exercise, etc. One of the biggest defenses we use, is that of projection.

From a psychoanalytic perspective, our DM's operate on an unconscious level to protect the ego, although self-reflection, introspection, may offer us insight into these dynamics.

Greystoner

Hi, this is not what I consider a big problem in my life, but one I could use as an illustration for my assignment, as I can't think of any other issues that I have!

I am not looking for any diagnosis or anything, just help with my course work. Torakx is on the right lines of helping me there. Any other help I would be very grateful for. It's helping me to 'brainstorm'.

Greystoner

bluefinger wrote: »

sorry op but my understanding of dm's is that they are largely unconscious? therefore any attempt by you to describe ones you personally use are futile?

It's what they asked for on the course work. I think the idea is just to get thinking about it, nothing too heavy, probably just to show an understanding of the dm's.

bluefinger

Greystoner wrote: »

It's what they asked for on the course work. I think the idea is just to get thinking about it, nothing too heavy, probably just to show an understanding of the dm's.

i think dar100 said it well that you can gain an understanding of dm's through your own introspection. though this analysis would be theoretical for the most part.

Greystoner

Maybe there is no real right or wrong answer then? I hope not, think I am going to go with the suppression angle and hope for the best! I am doing the course to help me dust off the old brain, so anything that gets me thinking is all good. Might scare off the cobwebs!

Thanks for the help guys. Hope the other poster didn't get in any trouble. They did help me a bit there.