House sitting etiquette

urabell

Just spent the week house sitting.
I took good care of the house, fed the fish, watered the plants but also milked the one eyed snake in almost every room.

Is it normal for people to have nanny cams set up? I never thought of it but it would make sense. They never mentioned it but they have some expensive things and the man of the house is in the security business.

They're back tomorrow, where should I look? Don't want them reviewing the footage and seeing me like that

Swampy

Too late if he has wireless cameras backing up to a server.

kneemos

Caught red handed.

Artful_Badger

Probably best burn it to the ground op.

Red Kev

OP. Is your surname 'End' by any chance ?

Mint Sauce

They had a one eyed snake that you could milk?

Sky King

urabell wrote: »

They're back tomorrow, where should I look?

They'll probably come in through the front door so I would start with the hallway

hfallada

I'm sure the house owners will be delighted unless you liked to go commando and left skit marks all over their cream sofa

urabell

Swampy wrote: »

Too late if he has wireless cameras backing up to a server.

You seem to be in the know, how would I find this server? and where would be the best place to look.

I've basically been naked 99% of the time

Cupcake_Crisis

I'd just avoid eye contact when they get home then cut off all contact. Morto.

Chucken

Oh please let it be the OPs future father in laws house!!!

Renegade Mechanic

urabell wrote: »

You seem to be in the know, how would I find this server? and where would be the best place too look.

I've basically been naked 99% of the time

If this is true, Youre basically f*cked!:eek:

Ihatecuddles

Who's house was it?

If this happened, which I doubt it did, then deny it at all costs. Even if they say they'll show you the tape, deny deny deny!

urabell

mauzo! wrote: »

Who's house was it?

If this happened, which I doubt it did, then deny it at all costs. Even if they say they'll show you the tape, deny deny deny!

My girlfriend's father's friend's house. So I don't know him that well but I wouldn't like him spreading this around.

I can't deny it I have a fairly distinctive body

ninebeanrows

No doubt a troll. But I doubt they are going to actually care that much once you didn't soil or rob anything!

They will probably never look at you the same ever again though

Ted_YNWA

Claim it was your twin brother OP.

CiaranTheGreat

caught purple headed!

urabell

Can we please stop telling me how this isn't a real situation or isn't a big deal and stop making penis jokes.

Instead, tell me where someone would hide a camera

Kylo Ren

urabell wrote: »

Instead, tell me where someone would hide a camera

If you were house sitting for them, then I would say they'd hide one in the house. Have you checked there yet?

Ihatecuddles

In vases, teddy bears eyes if movies are anything to go by.

Frosty McSnowballs

Fake smoke detectors, picture frames, plants, lamps, clocks.

Did you sh!t in their shower?

Mint Aero

Just stand in the middle of the living room and shout "you got punked!"

They'll be all like "oh it was a joke!"


"I get jokes"

Renegade Mechanic

urabell wrote: »

My girlfriend's father's friend's house. So I don't know him that well but I wouldn't like him spreading this around.

I can't deny it I have a fairly distinctive body

27 stone with an arse that requires planning permission to move then! Heh, grand my money on a remote server location would be attic or shed outside.

shopaholic01

Another person to add to the list of people who want to kill you.

How did your girlfriends father take the news of her pregnancy?

c_man

Don't do what Goldie Hawn did

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNCG3EI_7N0

Cedrus

Set up your own porn site and sue them for breach of copyright and/or piracy if they have footage of you without a subscription.

urabell

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Another person to add to the list of people who want to kill you.

How did your girlfriends father take the news of her pregnancy?

Well enough, he got me this job and is content enough as long as I do what he says

c_man wrote: »

Don't do what Goldie Hawn did

My whole life is just one big Goldie Hawn movie

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

27 stone with an arse that requires planning permission to move then! Heh, grand my money on a remote server location would be attic or shed outside.

Body like Hercules.

I have a magnet, I'm going to use on their family computer in case he's storing the images there

holystungun9

Just say it was to scare away some burglars or it was some cleansing and blessing the house mumbo jumbo. Be grand. Also, let he who has not masturbated all around a vacant house cast the first stone.

Ihatecuddles

holystungun9 wrote: »

Also, let he who has not masturbated all around a vacant house cast the first stone.

Is that old testament or new testament?

biko

This is why I don't **** in other people's houses.

urabell

biko wrote: »

This is why I don't **** in other people's houses.

You'd think they'd warn you about this in school


I've ran a magnet around the family computer and searched most rooms, think I might be in the clear

lukesmom

Wouldn't say you have anything to worry about security wise, but naked most of the time? What the fook were you at??? Apart from milking the one-eyed snake!

urabell

lukesmom wrote: »

Wouldn't say you have anything to worry about security wise, but naked most of the time? What the fook were you at??? Apart from milking the one-eyed snake!

Alone in the middle of nowhere clothes lost their purpose

Sir Arthur Daley

urabell wrote: »

think I might be in the clear

And have you cleared up your mess in every room?

GenieOz

biko wrote: »

This is why I don't **** in other people's houses.

really? I mean that's the only reason?

Aglomerado

mauzo! wrote: »

Is that old testament or new testament?

Or is it a 'teste'-ment?

ardinn

A few chuckles, penis jokes, awkward situations. 6/10 - Your no Trent tho let me tell ya!!

Ruu

It's okay, they won't mind that you pissed in the sink or slept in their bed (dressed in their unmentionables).

jester77

Security cameras are not good at showing up small objects, you should be ok.

lukesmom

jester77 wrote: »

Security cameras are not good at showing up small objects, you should be ok.

urabell

urabell wrote: »

I've ran a magnet around the family computer and searched most rooms, think I might be in the clear

If the guy's in the security business as you say, then he's probably more adept at hiding cameras than you are at finding them. So now not only does he have you cracking one out in his children's bedroom, he's also got you doing malicious damage to his property and rifling through his personal stuff.

And it all started with you watering his plants. Right. Just wondering if you stopped to think that if the man genuinely has a decent security set up then he would most likely have remote access to his cameras. In other words he probably watched while you jizzed into the milk cartons while sniffing his wife's knickers, then put them back in the fridge and went home.

Clearly the only solution is to change your name by deed poll, extensive facial plastic surgery, and then leave the country once you've faked the death of your former self. On the plus side however you can probably get a nice little earner for yourself in scripting the American Pie sequels.

Satriale

I see a lot of youtube hits in your future OP. Remember the one of that that guy fingering his @ss at work, that is soon to be you!

Akrasia

Semen is such a persistant stain

holystungun9

Satriale wrote: »

I see a lot of youtube hits in your future OP. Remember the one of that that guy fingering his @ss at work, that is soon to be you!

My internet search history is shady enough without putting in "guy fingering own ass at work".








Ah hell, down the wormhole we go...

le la rat

Let the cuts scab over man. Give it a break

Satriale

holystungun9 wrote: »

My internet search history is shady enough without putting in "guy fingering own ass at work".








Ah hell, down the wormhole we go...

lmao

i cant find it and i cant remember where i saw it, it may have been on tv. but the dude was working night in an office, what he didnt know was the
boss was recording him. one day the boss emails him the clip of him fingering himself while watching porn.
i dunno which was funnier the finger or the reaction.


Edit
Found it, definitely NSFW

kylith

What's he gonna say? 'Urabell is a wanker?' Sure, everyone knows that anyway.

PizzamanIRL

Weathercheck wrote: »

No doubt a troll. But I doubt they are going to actually care that much once you didn't soil or rob anything!

They will probably never look at you the same ever again though

You should have ended your post there if you believe it's a troll

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

Tzardine

Is that you Runkle ?

humbert

Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.