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House sitting etiquette

  • 06-03-2014 9:45pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭


    Just spent the week house sitting.
    I took good care of the house, fed the fish, watered the plants but also milked the one eyed snake in almost every room.

    Is it normal for people to have nanny cams set up? I never thought of it but it would make sense. They never mentioned it but they have some expensive things and the man of the house is in the security business.

    They're back tomorrow, where should I look? Don't want them reviewing the footage and seeing me like that


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,104 ✭✭✭Swampy


    Too late if he has wireless cameras backing up to a server.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,661 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    Caught red handed.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,339 ✭✭✭Artful_Badger


    Probably best burn it to the ground op.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,793 ✭✭✭Red Kev


    OP. Is your surname 'End' by any chance ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    They had a one eyed snake that you could milk?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    urabell wrote: »
    They're back tomorrow, where should I look?

    They'll probably come in through the front door so I would start with the hallway


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,180 ✭✭✭hfallada


    I'm sure the house owners will be delighted unless you liked to go commando and left skit marks all over their cream sofa


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭urabell


    Swampy wrote: »
    Too late if he has wireless cameras backing up to a server.

    You seem to be in the know, how would I find this server? and where would be the best place to look.

    I've basically been naked 99% of the time


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,448 ✭✭✭✭Cupcake_Crisis


    I'd just avoid eye contact when they get home then cut off all contact. Morto.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    Oh please let it be the OPs future father in laws house!!!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    urabell wrote: »
    You seem to be in the know, how would I find this server? and where would be the best place too look.

    I've basically been naked 99% of the time

    If this is true, Youre basically f*cked!:eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    Who's house was it?

    If this happened, which I doubt it did, then deny it at all costs. Even if they say they'll show you the tape, deny deny deny!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭urabell


    mauzo! wrote: »
    Who's house was it?

    If this happened, which I doubt it did, then deny it at all costs. Even if they say they'll show you the tape, deny deny deny!

    My girlfriend's father's friend's house. So I don't know him that well but I wouldn't like him spreading this around.

    I can't deny it I have a fairly distinctive body


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,780 ✭✭✭✭ninebeanrows


    No doubt a troll. But I doubt they are going to actually care that much once you didn't soil or rob anything!

    They will probably never look at you the same ever again though ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 71,802 ✭✭✭✭Ted_YNWA


    Claim it was your twin brother OP.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 174 ✭✭CiaranTheGreat


    caught purple headed!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭urabell


    Can we please stop telling me how this isn't a real situation or isn't a big deal and stop making penis jokes.

    Instead, tell me where someone would hide a camera


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,366 ✭✭✭✭Kylo Ren


    urabell wrote: »
    Instead, tell me where someone would hide a camera

    If you were house sitting for them, then I would say they'd hide one in the house. Have you checked there yet?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    In vases, teddy bears eyes if movies are anything to go by.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,396 ✭✭✭Frosty McSnowballs


    Fake smoke detectors, picture frames, plants, lamps, clocks.

    Did you sh!t in their shower?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,570 ✭✭✭Mint Aero


    Just stand in the middle of the living room and shout "you got punked!"

    They'll be all like "oh it was a joke!"


    "I get jokes"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    urabell wrote: »
    My girlfriend's father's friend's house. So I don't know him that well but I wouldn't like him spreading this around.

    I can't deny it I have a fairly distinctive body

    27 stone with an arse that requires planning permission to move then! Heh, grand my money on a remote server location would be attic or shed outside.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Another person to add to the list of people who want to kill you.

    How did your girlfriends father take the news of her pregnancy?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    Don't do what Goldie Hawn did



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Cedrus


    Set up your own porn site and sue them for breach of copyright and/or piracy if they have footage of you without a subscription.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭urabell


    Another person to add to the list of people who want to kill you.

    How did your girlfriends father take the news of her pregnancy?

    Well enough, he got me this job and is content enough as long as I do what he says
    c_man wrote: »
    Don't do what Goldie Hawn did

    My whole life is just one big Goldie Hawn movie
    27 stone with an arse that requires planning permission to move then! Heh, grand my money on a remote server location would be attic or shed outside.

    Body like Hercules.

    I have a magnet, I'm going to use on their family computer in case he's storing the images there


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭holystungun9


    Just say it was to scare away some burglars or it was some cleansing and blessing the house mumbo jumbo. Be grand. Also, let he who has not masturbated all around a vacant house cast the first stone.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    Also, let he who has not masturbated all around a vacant house cast the first stone.

    Is that old testament or new testament?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,219 ✭✭✭✭biko


    This is why I don't **** in other people's houses.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭urabell


    biko wrote: »
    This is why I don't **** in other people's houses.

    You'd think they'd warn you about this in school


    I've ran a magnet around the family computer and searched most rooms, think I might be in the clear


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,400 ✭✭✭lukesmom


    Wouldn't say you have anything to worry about security wise, but naked most of the time? What the fook were you at??? Apart from milking the one-eyed snake!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭urabell


    lukesmom wrote: »
    Wouldn't say you have anything to worry about security wise, but naked most of the time? What the fook were you at??? Apart from milking the one-eyed snake!

    Alone in the middle of nowhere clothes lost their purpose


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    urabell wrote: »
    think I might be in the clear

    And have you cleared up your mess in every room?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 892 ✭✭✭GenieOz


    biko wrote: »
    This is why I don't **** in other people's houses.

    really? I mean that's the only reason?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,787 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    mauzo! wrote: »
    Is that old testament or new testament?
    Or is it a 'teste'-ment?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,246 ✭✭✭ardinn


    A few chuckles, penis jokes, awkward situations. 6/10 - Your no Trent tho let me tell ya!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,622 ✭✭✭Ruu


    It's okay, they won't mind that you pissed in the sink or slept in their bed (dressed in their unmentionables).


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,264 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Security cameras are not good at showing up small objects, you should be ok.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,400 ✭✭✭lukesmom


    jester77 wrote: »
    Security cameras are not good at showing up small objects, you should be ok.

    :)


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    urabell wrote: »


    I've ran a magnet around the family computer and searched most rooms, think I might be in the clear

    If the guy's in the security business as you say, then he's probably more adept at hiding cameras than you are at finding them. So now not only does he have you cracking one out in his children's bedroom, he's also got you doing malicious damage to his property and rifling through his personal stuff.

    And it all started with you watering his plants. Right. Just wondering if you stopped to think that if the man genuinely has a decent security set up then he would most likely have remote access to his cameras. In other words he probably watched while you jizzed into the milk cartons while sniffing his wife's knickers, then put them back in the fridge and went home.

    Clearly the only solution is to change your name by deed poll, extensive facial plastic surgery, and then leave the country once you've faked the death of your former self. On the plus side however you can probably get a nice little earner for yourself in scripting the American Pie sequels. :)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,023 ✭✭✭Satriale


    I see a lot of youtube hits in your future OP. Remember the one of that that guy fingering his @ss at work, that is soon to be you!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,088 ✭✭✭✭Akrasia


    Semen is such a persistant stain


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭holystungun9


    Satriale wrote: »
    I see a lot of youtube hits in your future OP. Remember the one of that that guy fingering his @ss at work, that is soon to be you!

    My internet search history is shady enough without putting in "guy fingering own ass at work".








    Ah hell, down the wormhole we go...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,072 ✭✭✭le la rat


    Let the cuts scab over man. Give it a break


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,023 ✭✭✭Satriale


    My internet search history is shady enough without putting in "guy fingering own ass at work".








    Ah hell, down the wormhole we go...

    lmao

    i cant find it and i cant remember where i saw it, it may have been on tv. but the dude was working night in an office, what he didnt know was the
    boss was recording him. one day the boss emails him the clip of him fingering himself while watching porn.
    i dunno which was funnier the finger or
    the reaction.


    Edit
    Found it, definitely NSFW




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,739 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    What's he gonna say? 'Urabell is a wanker?' Sure, everyone knows that anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,147 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    No doubt a troll. But I doubt they are going to actually care that much once you didn't soil or rob anything!

    They will probably never look at you the same ever again though ;)

    You should have ended your post there if you believe it's a troll :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,730 ✭✭✭✭Fred Swanson


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,885 ✭✭✭Tzardine


    Is that you Runkle ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,238 ✭✭✭humbert


    Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.


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