Fathers raising males today.

Seriously?

I’m sure I’m not the only father here raising a boy(s) and after noting some posts here about the general hostility to males in schools and society in general what steps people are taking to at least counteract the feminist propaganda boys (and men) are being exposed to and preparing them for the world as it really is. Everywhere they turn its basically males == deadbeats.

One of mine is going into secondary soon, it’s not co-ed, but I guess it’s still time to encourage a healthy attitude to ass-covering when in the company of women. It’s your word against theirs and yours is always wrong.

To that end I’ve explained how in my work I try to ensure I’m never left in a position alone with one of the female staff, since if they want to they can easily cost me my job and such like.

Correcting them about such notions as chivalry, before you do something for a woman think if you’d do it for a man also and only then do it.

The deck is so stacked against the next generation that it makes sense to ensure they know what they’re getting into.

Now I’m not suggesting things like MGTOW, which while understandable (perhaps even sensible) are perhaps a step too far at that age.

So anyone have tips or suggestions, perhaps I’m overreacting and gone off the deep-end.

ps. yes its a first post, we all start somewhere.

jane82

Im a stay at home dad. Your right about the attitudes around schools and that. When I have the kids out playing in the garden and other kids come along suddenly all the mothers are out watching where they spent all day watching jeremy kyle. You cant blame them with the way the media is so they naturally think Im a danger to their children if their kids play with my kids unsupervised.
I dont think however you need to educate them against the dangers of women like they are a race of evil aliens. You get bad men and women just like you get bad dogs and good dogs. I wouldnt worry too much about it man.

mikom

Seriously? wrote: »

the feminist propaganda boys (and men) are being exposed to and preparing them for the world as it really is. Everywhere they turn its basically males == deadbeats.

Where is this mythical land?

Seriously? wrote: »

One of mine is going into secondary soon, it’s not co-ed, but I guess it’s still time to encourage a healthy attitude to ass-covering when in the company of women. It’s your word against theirs and yours is always wrong.

Not a very healthy view of women to instill in a young lad.

Seriously? wrote: »

To that end I’ve explained how in my work I try to ensure I’m never left in a position alone with one of the female staff, since if they want to they can easily cost me my job and such like.

Are you left alone with your son?
He has as much opportunity of screaming PEADO DADDY as a member of female staff has of screaming sexual harrasment.

Seriously? wrote: »

The deck is so stacked against the next generation that it makes sense to ensure they know what they’re getting into.

Unless they are a woman........

Seriously? wrote: »

perhaps I’m overreacting and gone off the deep-end.

Delete as applicable.

gouche

I think it's sad that a father feels he needs to warn his son on the dangers of chivalry.

I have a son, and while not a single dad, I will most definitely be teaching him to be courteous and respectful to women.

I think you have a somewhat unhealthy attitude towards women if you feel you can't even be left alone with one in work without fear of being accused of something indecent.

Seriously?

gouche wrote: »

I think it's sad that a father feels he needs to warn his son on the dangers of chivalry.

Never said it was dangerous, just unnecessary.

gouche wrote: »

I have a son, and while not a single dad, I will most definitely be teaching him to be courteous and respectful to women.

Likewise, but you should be courteous and respectful to people, women aren't some special breed to be held in high esteem.

gouche wrote: »

I think you have a somewhat unhealthy attitude towards women if you feel you can't even be left alone with one in work without fear of being accused of something indecent.

tbh it depends on the nature of the company you work for, I'm in fairly large company with a active HR department. Smaller companies may be different, but in the larger ones it pays to cover your back.

OldRio

I take your post the same as your name.

Dravokivich

Am I naive to suggest I'm not all that worried about it? My kid isnt going to feel guilty for a problem someone else creates.

jackofalltrades

gouche wrote: »

I think it's sad that a father feels he needs to warn his son on the dangers of chivalry.

I have a son, and while not a single dad, I will most definitely be teaching him to be courteous and respectful to women.

Would you not just be teaching him to courteous and respectful to people in general?

I think the OPs attitude of " before you do something for a woman think if you’d do it for a man also and only then do it" is spot on.

baby and crumble

I can no problem whatsoever with the op teaching his sons that women are really likely to try and get him put in jail or fired. That can't possibly lead to a messed up view of women down the road. I can see his sons having no difficulty relating to women in the future thanks to this education.

Op, your post is every bit as bad as a woman teaching her daughter that men are there to buy her pretty things and all that. Can we not just teach our kids to be respectful of everyone, and treat very one the same? Male, female, gay, straight, black, white, rich, poor. Creating and us vs them attitude at a young age will great massive issues later in life.

iptba

One time, in my early 20s, I was helping a friend with a weekend away for a youth club she ran for some adolescents and early teen girls from a disadvantaged area. I had a car so helped out in various ways over the weekend. My mother warned me to be careful and not expose myself to risk. I thought she was nuts. But I think it was a useful message to get as, certainly in my case, I was a bit naive and wouldn't have thought about it.

Danger can take various forms and being falsely accused of abuse without any back-up is one of them, probably particularly for a male. It can certainly have a major negative effect on one's life.

But such messages would need to be given tactfully.

Seriously?

baby and crumble wrote: »

Can we not just teach our kids to be respectful of everyone, and treat very one the same? Male, female, gay, straight, black, white, rich, poor. Creating and us vs them attitude at a young age will great massive issues later in life.

Absolutely we should, but at the same time as parents we have a responsibility to educate them to the world as it is, not just how we would like it to be.


And as a male it will be you who is assumed to be the aggressor. For example mother assaults daughter and father is killed (since as a male it must be at fault), or to take a post from here, a male is assaulted by a female and they are asked to leave.


Teaching male children to be cautious when unaccompanied with females is no different than telling them to be more cautious at night or in unfamiliar surroundings. It’s just common sense these days.

Gambas

Seriously? wrote: »

Absolutely we should, but at the same time as parents we have a responsibility to educate them to the world as it is, not just how we would like it to be.

I don't think everyone would agree with your interpretation of 'the world as it is'. Your ideas on the threat posed to him by women sound very unhealthy to me.

OldRio

Paranoid. At best.

username123

Its probably not healthy to pass a misogynistic attitude onto your sons. It might be more useful to examine your own prejudices and work through your frankly paranoid issues surrounding men in the modern world.

Dravokivich

Seriously? wrote: »

Absolutely we should, but at the same time as parents we have a responsibility to educate them to the world as it is, not just how we would like it to be.


And as a male it will be you who is assumed to be the aggressor. For example mother assaults daughter and father is killed (since as a male it must be at fault), or to take a post from here, a male is assaulted by a female and they are asked to leave.


Teaching male children to be cautious when unaccompanied with females is no different than telling them to be more cautious at night or in unfamiliar surroundings. It’s just common sense these days.

Those are 2 very different circumstances.

For the first part, you are creating a natural sense of distrust solely on the basis of gender.

The second part, you are teaching the child to be weary and try to be more aware when in a situation or place they are not used to. Which I'd agree with.

When it comes to being unaccompanied with someone, how you act should be on the basis of what you understand and how you relate to that other person, be it a man or woman. The gender is of little to no relevance to their personality.

Sure a guy is hardly going to make a false accusation of rape against another guy and we've seen some incidents of men falsely prosecuted only to find that the woman in those particular cases lied about it. But this does not make it a man/woman conflict, that you appear to be pressing.

Telling a boy that every woman is a potential accuser, is no different to telling a girl that every man is a potential rapist. This is not "the world we live in," as you put it. Hysteria perceives it as so, doesn't make it so.

baby and crumble

Dravokivich wrote: »

Telling a boy that every woman is a potential accuser, is no different to telling a girl that every man is a potential rapist. This is not "the world we live in," as you put it. Hysteria perceives it as so, doesn't make it so.

Exactly. If a woman were to come into the ladies lounge and say she was looking to teach her daughter to never be alone with a man in case he attacks her, she'd get soundly corrected, rightly so.

You have to teach your kids to become good judges of character rather than judges of gender. If you start creating a fear or distrust of women in your sons, how on earth can they ever hope to have a normal, balanced view of them? How can they be expected to have female friends, forgetting about romantic relationships?

eviltwin

Seriously? wrote: »

Absolutely we should, but at the same time as parents we have a responsibility to educate them to the world as it is, not just how we would like it to be.


And as a male it will be you who is assumed to be the aggressor. For example mother assaults daughter and father is killed (since as a male it must be at fault), or to take a post from here, a male is assaulted by a female and they are asked to leave.


Teaching male children to be cautious when unaccompanied with females is no different than telling them to be more cautious at night or in unfamiliar surroundings. It’s just common sense these days.

You're right, you have to teach kids the bad with the good but with a bit of balance. Most women are pretty decent, they are not out to fcuk with men or get one over on them. By all means raise your son to be street smart and aware of chancers - of both sexes - but don't take whatever beef you have with women out on him. Its not fair on your son.

drunkmonkey

Is this a Dublin thing? Never heard of any kids worried about women like that outside the pale.

Cyclepath

I have sons and although I don't go with the OP's level of paranoia, I do tend to call stuff out on a regular basis. Some examples are:

• Referring to your genitalia as 'junk'. I hate this sort of subversive use of language to devalue a part of your body.
  
• Calling out instances of reverse sexism in the media - mainly advertising. I'll usually ask the boys to imagine a certain scenario with the roles reversed and ask them how they think the opposite sex might react.
  
• Deification of women. There are so many instances of this in films and TV programmes where scenarios seem to subtly suggest that females are on some higher plane than males.

Generally the advice I give them is intended to ensure that they develop a healthy sense of self-esteem and are reassured of their role and value in society.

I guess my own pet hate is what I see as a culture of disposability developing around young males.

Lou.m

Teach him to have an honor code to everyone.

Teach him to respect himself and others and to stick up for the weak etc.

Then people will trust his word.

Teach him that trust is earned.

The ideology you are talking about tells him not only that every woman is corrupt but every man too the whole school is against him and you.

Not only is this not accurate but encourages him to think he has to be dishonorable to get along in it.

Teach him to strive to be a kind strong good man whom other men and women respect. Teach him to like himself and to be secure in himself enough to know that he is more than capable of taking on any challenges the world throws at him.

Pawwed Rig

OldRio wrote: »

I take your post the same as your name.

OldRio wrote: »

Paranoid. At best.

Mod note - OldRio, please post in a more constructive manner.