Should I send him a birthday text?

GlobalSun

So we went on two dates, and he said "I had fun, until next time" but he never responded to any of my other texts afterwards.
He only responded to one text I sent him by mistake which said "Come over" (I guess he expected a booty call). I wanted to send it to a friend who has the same name and clicked on the wrong name.

He's been MIA since. He used to text me every other day.

Now, his birthday is on Sunday, should I text him or ignore?

miamee

Ignore. If he can't be bothered to answer any of your texts after two dates, i'm afraid that's the end of it. Ignore his birthday.

Tokyo

He's ignored every other text so far - why would you bother sending him a birthday text when he didn't have the manners to reply to anything else you've sent him?

Shauna.xxx

GlobalSun wrote: »

So we went on two dates, and he said "I had fun, until next time" but he never responded to any of my other texts afterwards. He's been MIA since.

Now, his birthday is on Sunday, should I text him or ignore?

Yeah Hun, I'd ignore him, other wise he might get the wrong idea. As in he thinks your 100% crazy about him and will brag this to his mates when u are just being nice and saying happy bday yeno?

Eeden

Ignore and delete his number.

Stavro Mueller

Seriously?? At this stage you should be deleting his number off your phone, not sending him happy birthday texts. In my experience, someone who drops off the face of the earth like this is not worth bothering with. Either they're hoping that you'll take the hint and go away quietly or they'll reappear when they're at a loose end and play with you for a while before discarding you again.

Merkin

Why on earth would you want to wish someone who is blatantly ignoring you a happy birthday?

If you do, unless he has the manners of a pig, he will reply to say thank you. This will then instil you with false hope. Don't bother.

Meauldsegosha

You had two dates and he has ignored your texts since then. Why would you send him a birthday text. Delete his number and move on. He has made it clear he isn't interested.

maria34

Sounds like you sent him more than one texts and he didnt answer? Well he is a pig with no manners hiding somewhere. So he doesnt appriciate your bday text, dont send it!

CaraMay

Absolutely do not send him a text. Summon your pride and delete him.

ash23

Don't do it OP. Just delete his number and move on to someone who is interested. He was giving you the brush off by saying "until the next time". If he had been interested then he'd have been in touch to arrange a third date.


Plenty more men out there to spend your time on rather than wasting it on someone who isn't bothered.

Emme

Ignore him, delete his number and forget him.

If you text him he'll just see it as you offering yourself up as booty for his birthday.

It's an insult to a pig to call this man a pig. You deserve better.

stargazer 68

You really want to OP though don't you? Hoping that he will 'remember' that you were great on the two dates and he hasn't treated you well and he really should take you out and realise what a catch you are?

Trust me been there and done that. My advice is the same as the others - don't do it. You will hate yourself if you do! He won't reply and you will hate yourself even more. Delete his number from your phone and delete your call logs so you have no trace of his number at all and move on to someone who wants to be with you.

Meauldsegosha

I have to disagree with the posters calling this man a pig. He really hasn't done a lot wrong. The OP needs to read the signs better. "I had fun, until next time" is pretty much a brush off. The OP then sent a number of texts which weren't replied to, she "accidently" sent him a text inviting him to her house and now wants to send him a birthday text.

If the man was posting here we would be telling him to block the OPs number as she obviously can't take the hint and she is a bit of a "psycho"

OP you need to look at your own actions and examine why you became so invested in someone after two dates.

signmeup

No. Just NO.

You are only texting him looking for a reaction, looking for him to contact you.
He has your number. He would have contacted you if he wanted to. :rolleyes:

There is no point chasing someone who does not want you. Save your energy for someone worth while, someone who will want to cantact you no matter what day it is.

This comes to mind... “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

cson

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

I have to disagree with the posters calling this man a pig. He really hasn't done a lot wrong. The OP needs to read the signs better. "I had fun, until next time" is pretty much a brush off. The OP then sent a number of texts which weren't replied to, she "accidently" sent him a text inviting him to her house and now wants to send him a birthday text.

If the man was posting here we would be telling him to block the OPs number as she obviously can't take the hint and she is a bit of a "psycho"

OP you need to look at your own actions and examine why you became so invested in someone after two dates.

Little bit harsh and OTT on the OP but the sentiment is right.

The guy isn't interested, I know I'd rather let things fizzle out similarly instead of outright telling someone "nah I don't really like you after all, were done". Calling him a pig etc is bit much.

Dr Turk Turkelton

Emme wrote: »

Ignore him, delete his number and forget him.

If you text him he'll just see it as you offering yourself up as booty for his birthday.

It's an insult to a pig to call this man a pig. You deserve better.

Really?
Maybe he just wasn't that much into her,hardly needs dramatics like this.
Op I would move on and forget it these things happen all the time.

GlobalSun

OP here: Wait, you don't know the whole story though!

I met the guy last year, talked to him for a month. We went on two dates last year and things fizzled out. He came back around 3 weeks ago.
It's not like he's someone I just randomly met.

Now, he kept kissing me during the entire date, telling me he'd plan our next date, because he's having fun.
He even said "I am believe in love enough for the both of us".
He was all over me the entire time on Sunday, kissing me all the time, held my hand all night.
Kissing me and he kept telling me "you're beautiful" and the next day, he disappears?


I can take a hint when a guy is not interested! I've done the same the vanishing act myself. I've dated enough to understand when a guy is not into me. I'm not a psycho!

However, I don't lead people on the way he did. My body language and actions during the date match my feelings.
If I'm no longer interested in someone, I'm not touchy-feely with them and I certainly don't bother holding their hand or complimenting them!

I don't kiss, compliment or hold hands with someone I have no intentions of seeing again. To me, his behavior with me was way off base if it didn't match his intentions. You don't want to see me again, fine, but keep yourself at a distance then!

How am I misreading the signs here? He gave me all the signs he wanted to see me again. He led me on (to a certain extent).

ash23

GlobalSun wrote: »

Wait, you don't know the whole story though!

He kept kissing me during the entire date, telling me he'd plan our next date, because he's having fun.
He was all over me the entire time on Sunday, held my hand at the end of the night.
Kissed me, kept telling me "you're beautiful" and the next day, he disappears?


I can take a hint when a guy is not interested! I've done the same trick myself, the vanishing act.
However, I don't lead people on the way he did lead me. My body language and actions during the date, match my feelings.

I don't kiss, compliment, hold hands with someone I have no intentions of seeing again.

How am I misreading the signs here? He gave me all the signs he wanted to see me again. He led me on.

He gave you the signs on the date. But once the date was over he was pretty clear in his silence that he is no longer interested.
Maybe he met someone he liked more. Maybe he had a think and decided it wasn't for him. Maybe he was just trying to get his leg over. You can hypothesise until the cows come home but you really just need to look at his actions NOW. Not his actions then.

We've all been with someone who seems besotted with us until suddenly they aren't. Sometimes it takes days, sometimes weeks and sometimes years. But what is true at one point in time doesn't mean it'll always be the case.

He isn't interested anymore. Move on.

Emme

GlobalSun wrote: »

OP here: How am I misreading the signs here? He gave me all the signs he wanted to see me again. He led me on to a certain extent.

He might have just wanted sex and when that wasn't forthcoming decided not to stick around.

Neyite

GlobalSun wrote: »

OP here: Wait, you don't know the whole story though!

He kept kissing me during the entire date, telling me he'd plan our next date, because he's having fun.
He even said "I am believe in love enough for the both of us".
He was all over me the entire time on Sunday, kissing me all the time, held my hand all night.
Kissing me and he kept telling me "you're beautiful" and the next day, he disappears?


I can take a hint when a guy is not interested! I've done the same trick myself, the vanishing act. I've dated enough to understand when a guy is not into me. I'm not a psycho!

However, I don't lead people on the way he did. My body language and actions during the date, match my feelings.
If I'm no longer interested in someone, I'm not touchy-feely with them and I certainly don't bother holding their hand or complimenting them!

I don't kiss, compliment or hold hands with someone I have no intentions of seeing again. To me, his behavior with me was way off base if it didn't match his intentions. You don't want to see me again, fine, but keep yourself at a distance then!

How am I misreading the signs here? He gave me all the signs he wanted to see me again. He led me on to a certain extent.

Well actions speak louder than words. He sounds like someone you should run from - waaay too intense for second date stuff. So many red flags its like bunting. Consider it a lucky escape and don't contact him anymore.

Meauldsegosha

GlobalSun wrote: »

... he never responded to any of my other texts afterwards.

He's been MIA since.

Are these signs not obvious enough?

GlobalSun wrote: »

How am I misreading the signs here? He gave me all the signs he wanted to see me again. He led me on.

His actions on the night may have led you on but not since. So you send him a text for his birthday and he doesn't relpy, will you send him a "Happy St. Patricks Day" text hoping he replies?

Tokyo

Honestly, if you can read the signs that well, you'd know that regardless of what has passed before, he'd have texted you back the umpteen times you messaged him, if he was interested. He didn't lead you on - he dropped completely off the radar.

Right now, if you decide to continue texting him, you're just looking for drama in your life. Anyone else would have moved swiftly along by now.

GlobalSun

Yeah, I think so. He started talking about "love" on the second date, and complained I sounded "jaded and pessimistic" when I told him love takes time and it's not always as dreamy as it seems to be!

Are you kidding me? It's only our second date, I'm not talking about love and feelings on a second date. We're not there yet! Chill a little.


We don't celebrate St. Patrick's day over here

CaraMay

Yes you are missing the sign - the one that says 'he's just not that into you'. If he were he would be calling you. That's the only sign you need to see. Stop trying to make nothing into something.

miamee

Not one single person thinks you should text him. He enjoyed a few kisses and cuddles or whatever on Sunday and told you nice things. By ignoring your efforts to contact him he has now reneged on any promises made, whether they were explicit or implied. And not for the first time if he did it last year - this is now a pattern, read it, learn from it and apply it to the next man you date.

Tokyo

GlobalSun wrote: »

He's been MIA since. He used to text me every other day.
Now, his birthday is on Sunday, should I text him or ignore?

GlobalSun wrote: »

Are you kidding me? It's only our second date, I'm not talking about love and feelings on a second date. We're not there yet! Chill a little.

You both sound as bad as each other TBH where the drama is concerned. And yo seem to be going back and forth from each side of the fence depending on your argument.

You had a couple of dates with the guy, and he made the effort to say all the right things. However his actions haven't lived up to his words and he hasn't contacted you since. Doing anything except walking away from this is only inviting that drama back into your life. Most people would have walked away by now - you seem to be fighting it though....

Stavro Mueller

Do you not think there's a pattern emerging here. You met him last year, went on two dates and it fizzled out. Then he comes back on the scene, is all over you then vanishes again. Something tells me you're going to ignore us and send the text anyway. Don't say you weren't warned..this is going nowhere.

strobe

GlobalSun wrote: »

OP here: Wait, you don't know the whole story though!

I met the guy last year, talked to him for a month. We went on two dates last year and things fizzled out. He came back around 3 weeks ago.
It's not like he's someone I just randomly met.

Now, he kept kissing me during the entire date, telling me he'd plan our next date, because he's having fun.
He even said "I am believe in love enough for the both of us".
He was all over me the entire time on Sunday, kissing me all the time, held my hand all night.
Kissing me and he kept telling me "you're beautiful" and the next day, he disappears?


I can take a hint when a guy is not interested! I've done the same the vanishing act myself. I've dated enough to understand when a guy is not into me. I'm not a psycho!

However, I don't lead people on the way he did. My body language and actions during the date match my feelings.
If I'm no longer interested in someone, I'm not touchy-feely with them and I certainly don't bother holding their hand or complimenting them!

I don't kiss, compliment or hold hands with someone I have no intentions of seeing again. To me, his behavior with me was way off base if it didn't match his intentions. You don't want to see me again, fine, but keep yourself at a distance then!

How am I misreading the signs here? He gave me all the signs he wanted to see me again. He led me on (to a certain extent).

That coupled with the fact he didn't text you back after sounds like he was just after a ride tbh. When things didn't progress that way he figured he wasn't bothered.

Although alternatively, could he have lost his phone? Were the two of you communicating any other way, email, Facebook, etc?

ElleEm

OP, you said yourself his actions do not match his intentions. His actions on the date were to be all over you and give you an idea/ hope that he was in it for the long haul. This could have been so that you would sleep with him (I am putting two and two together since he didn't care to respond to you until he thought you were inviting him over). Then he disappeared, so his actions NOW are saying he is not interested. I understand that you are confused, and you felt it would go somewhere as this was the second time round, but this guy just isn't into you. If he was, you wouldn't get him off the bloody phone to you!

I know it may be hard to hear, but you would be putting yourself out there to be ignored or rejected again. I was in a similar situation years and years ago. The date went well, we made plans for the next day, then he disappeared. I cringe now at the thoughts of it. I text him once. That was it. When I got no response, I was annoyed I had even sent that one message. I can imagine that you will really be kicking yourself if you keep putting yourself out there with him for him to not respond.

I also think it is a bit much that some posters are name calling. Yes, it is rude to not respond and let you know where you stand, but it is very early days. Calling him a pig is out of order.

GlobalSun

ElleEm wrote: »

OP, you said yourself his actions do not match his intentions. His actions on the date were to be all over you and give you an idea/ hope that he was in it for the long haul. This could have been so that you would sleep with him (I am putting two and two together since he didn't care to respond to you until he thought you were inviting him over). Then he disappeared, so his actions NOW are saying he is not interested. I understand that you are confused, and you felt it would go somewhere as this was the second time round, but this guy just isn't into you. If he was, you wouldn't get him off the bloody phone to you!

I know it may be hard to hear, but you would be putting yourself out there to be ignored or rejected again. I was in a similar situation years and years ago. The date went well, we made plans for the next day, then he disappeared. I cringe now at the thoughts of it. I text him once. That was it. When I got no response, I was annoyed I had even sent that one message. I can imagine that you will really be kicking yourself if you keep putting yourself out there with him for him to not respond.

I also think it is a bit much that some posters are name calling. Yes, it is rude to not respond and let you know where you stand, but it is very early days. Calling him a pig is out of order.

Actually, while we were on the date, he said: "How about coming to my place?" I declined. Told him I was not ready, I jokingly said "I want to make you work for that". He then responded "Well, some things are worth working for" and he kissed me. Then he made up some excuse about having a train at 7.20 a.m so we had to leave at like 11. I gathered it was an excuse to bail since he spent his night that dating website until 4 am (checked his profile the next day, since we talked on that website also).

I deleted my account the following day (Monday) and he hasn't been active since.

strobe wrote: »

That coupled with the fact he didn't text you back after sounds like he was just after a ride tbh. When things didn't progress that way he figured he wasn't bothered.

Although alternatively, could he have lost his phone? Were the two of you communicating any other way, email, Facebook, etc?

We used to communicate through text and also on the dating website, which he uses on his phone. However, he hasn't been active on it, and he hasn't texted me. Not sure if these two are linked, but this situation is bizarre.

For some reason, I have a feeling an ex of his back in the picture and I was just a substitute.

freshpopcorn

GlobalSun wrote: »

Actually, while we were on the date, he said: "How about coming to my place?" I declined. Told him I was not ready, I jokingly said "I want to make you work for that". He then responded "Well, some things are worth working for" and he kissed me. Then he made up some excuse about having a train at 7.20 a.m so we had to leave at like 11. I gathered it was an excuse to bail since he spent his night that dating website until 4 am (checked his profile the next day, since we talked on that website also).

I deleted my account the following day (Monday) and he hasn't been active since.

We used to communicate through text and also on the dating website, which he uses on his phone. However, he hasn't been active on it, and he hasn't texted me. Not sure if these two are linked, but this situation is bizarre.

For some reason, I have a feeling an ex of his back in the picture and I was just a substitute.

It sounds like he has moved and he was not that into you. I know lads that complement women on dates even when there not interested(just to be nce)or just to get there leg over.
Get over yourself he's not intressed and accept it and move on.

Stavro Mueller

GlobalSun wrote: »

Actually, while we were on the date, he said: "How about coming to my place?" I declined. Told him I was not ready, I jokingly said "I want to make you work for that". He then responded "Well, some things are worth working for" and he kissed me. Then he made up some excuse about having a train at 7.20 a.m so we had to leave at like 11. I gathered it was an excuse to bail since he spent his night that dating website until 4 am (checked his profile the next day, since we talked on that website also).

I deleted my account the following day (Monday) and he hasn't been active since.

We used to communicate through text and also on the dating website, which he uses on his phone. However, he hasn't been active on it, and he hasn't texted me. Not sure if these two are linked, but this situation is bizarre.

For some reason, I have a feeling an ex of his back in the picture and I was just a substitute.

You're joking, right? I mean, it's plain as the nose on your face that this guy was out for the ride. When it became clear that his sweet-talking wasn't going to culminate in the horizontal mambo, he lost interest then went home to try and find someone else. Incidentally, you've been doing an awful lot of stalking of this guy...you can only know he was online til 4am because you were watching him. You're also very familiar with his movements since then...

There's nothing bizarre about this at all and you're making something out of nothing. Delete him from your phone and don't bother making contact with him again.

GlobalSun

I was not stalking him. I just log on the next day and checked his account (because he checks mine everyday), and it just stated his was last active at 4 am. That's hardly monitoring his activity.

ElleEm

It seems like you are making excuses for him. It looks like you are defensively telling us all ways in which he HAD to have liked you, then you are posting facts about how he was making excuses to leave early and how he was on a dating website.

What are you looking for here? You have the majority of posters saying he doesn't seem interested in you. You are giving us the information to go on here.

GlobalSun

ElleEm wrote: »

It seems like you are making excuses for him. It looks like you are defensively telling us all ways in which he HAD to have liked you, then you are posting facts about how he was making excuses to leave early and how he was on a dating website.

What are you looking for here? You have the majority of posters saying he doesn't seem interested in you. You are giving us the information to go on here.

No, I'm just stating a fact. I'm not delusional, I know I got played. My fact was just purely objective, not meant to direct you guys towards a specific answer to my question.

I agree, he just wanted to get laid. I had already noticed that when he texted me last week at 3 a.m to tell me he was drinking at a bar with friends and asked me if I wanted to come. When I declined, he didn't bother texting until he texted me on Saturday to confirm our date and acted very cranky on Sunday. All the signs were blatant but I disregarded them because I thought there was something there. I had such a crush on him, I was blind and stupid. Hope Karma does the work for me though!

Stavro Mueller

So is it safe to say then that your original question has been answered?

GlobalSun

cymbaline wrote: »

So is it safe to say then that your original question has been answered?

I guess so, yes.

ElleEm

GlobalSun wrote: »

I had such a crush on him, I was blind and stupid. Hope Karma does the work for me though!

It happens to the best of us! Chalk it down to experience and move on.

Tokyo

OP, you have posted threads similar to this in the past, but don't seem to be willing to take any advice from the responses that you get. Please consider the advice that you receive before posting another thread along these lines.

Anyhow, seeing as you state that your original question has been answered, I'll close this thread now.

Regards,
Mike