Think I blew it with lovely girl at weekend; some advice needed please

LegacyUser

So qSo quick back story. Met a group of girls when out over the weekend. One of them was very cute and my exact sort of type. I spent a good 20 mins talking to her and felt completely at ease talking to her, which was unusual as I'm usually very nervous talking to girls I like. I admit, im not the most confident or experienced guy with girls, but after loosing a lot of weight over the past year and updating my wardrobe and appearance, I'm starting to get a lot of new attention which i used to never happen.

I am getting a bit of a reputation with my mates though of not being confident enough with women as I get some very nice looking women draping themselves over me, but it seems half of the time I'm too afraid or nervous to make a move.

But anyway back to the girl at the weekend. I was a bit drunk but never thought she was interested in me at the time. I vaguely remember her friend saying to me that she'd been trying really hard to get my attention and was to shy to say it to me but that she really fancied me. For some stupid reason, I just fobbed this off and said oh right. I still don't know why I didn't go back over to chat to her. As the night went on I remember she used to come over near me a lot but I was a bit drunk then (thus was in a club) and got a bit too much into the house music so didn't really talk to anyone while out dancing. Christ sake.

At the end of the night, as I began to sober up, and come to my senses I went looking for her. But couldn't find her. I found her friend who said she had went home. Her friend was a but angry with me as she really liked me but thought i wasn't interested in her, and I can see how she got that impression now. Her friend sent her a text saying u was looking for her and with my phone number. I also got ger phone number off her friend and sent a text the next day just explainfing that I liked you and that I was looking for you at the end of the night. Heard no reply and it's been over a day since I sent it.

Thing is, we live in the same town and if she is out next weekend then I will most likely see her in the sane club. If I do should I approach her and start chatting to her or is the fact that she hasn't replied a bad sign? Could she be more pissed off at me for not paying much attention to her that night and then texting her the next day?

Ant advice welcome please and looking for a girls view also if possible.

Really pissed off with myself for probably blowing this.

Tokyo

OP, first thing that needs to be said is that you need to stop beating yourself up over this. You went out, had a bit to much to drink, and the girl you were chatting to got tired of dealing with stand-offish drunk you and decided to go home. That's the beginning and the end of it, and turning it into the disaster of a lifetime in your head isn't going to make it any better.

For now stop texting the girl - a text to apologise was fine, but you're coming off as a bit desperate with the follow up texts of "I like you", I was looking for you all night" etc. If you know that you are going to run into her next weekend, leave it for now, and when you see her, tell her the truth. Tell her that you enjoyed talking to her last weekend but you are embarrassed that you got a bit too drunk, and sorry about that. Simple, the truth, and it puts the ball in her court as to whether she wants to talk to you again.

IF she does, great, enjoy your night, but if she doesn't, don't force a dozen "I like you"s or similar on her - leave her be, and enjoy the night with her friends, and give her space to breathe.

CaraMay

She knows you were only looking for her at the end of the night so that's sending her a certain message.

Don't text her again and see if she is out next week. Tbh if she doesn't reply to your text I would think its a non runner

LegacyUser

mike_ie wrote: »

OP, first thing that needs to be said is that you need to stop beating yourself up over this. You went out, had a bit to much to drink, and the girl you were chatting to got tired of dealing with stand-offish drunk you and decided to go home. That's the beginning and the end of it, and turning it into the disaster of a lifetime in your head isn't going to make it any better.

For now stop texting the girl - a text to apologise was fine, but you're coming off as a bit desperate with the follow up texts of "I like you", I was looking for you all night" etc. If you know that you are going to run into her next weekend, leave it for now, and when you see her, tell her the truth. Tell her that you enjoyed talking to her last weekend but you are embarrassed that you got a bit too drunk, and sorry about that. Simple, the truth, and it puts the ball in her court as to whether she wants to talk to you again.

IF she does, great, enjoy your night, but if she doesn't, don't force a dozen "I like you"s or similar on her - leave her be, and enjoy the night with her friends, and give her space to breathe.

Hey, thanks for the reply.

A few quick things though in regards to my post which may have come across wrong. I wasn't plastered or anything, just a bit tipsy, and with that combined with my own confidence issues, made me sort of unable to approach her again after the initial chat we had, for whatever reason, but it might have come across as being drunk.

Also, I had no intentions of texting again, I just sent one quick one, saying sort of that I enjoyed chatting to you and wanted to talk more, but sorry for being a slightly drunk. I wrote the OP a bit late at night, but what about looking for her at the end of the night, not all night, I said that to her friend who then told me she had went home. Id never say "I like you" seriously to any girl I had just met in a nightclub, id probably die from cringing.

The main thing I was wondering was about what to do if I do bump into her at the weekend, or see her in night club, as theres a good chance I will. I wouldnt dare crowd her or annoy her all night, my problem last weekend was the opposite, I didnt stay to chat with her long enough it seems going from what her friends said! So ill take on board what advise you gave, thanks.

LegacyUser

CaraMay wrote: »

She knows you were only looking for her at the end of the night so that's sending her a certain message.

Don't text her again and see if she is out next week. Tbh if she doesn't reply to your text I would think its a non runner

Yes, my gut feeling is that you are correct. I remember that her friends said she was very shy about coming over to me and when I asked for her number, she said that she might not reply to her if I text. YOu're probably right though; there is probably nothing running here and I should just move on forget about it even though I haven't really been wallowing in sorrow to be honest either, but felt a bit down over it the past day.

Tokyo

Wexford Kid wrote: »

The main thing I was wondering was about what to do if I do bump into her at the weekend, or see her in night club, as theres a good chance I will. I wouldnt dare crowd her or annoy her all night, my problem last weekend was the opposite, I didnt stay to chat with her long enough it seems going from what her friends said! So ill take on board what advise you gave, thanks.

Then pretty much what I said in my earlier post - ignore what's passed before, it's not *that* big of a deal first of all, and you can't change it anyways. If you run into her, say that youa re sorry that you were a little bit tipsy the last eekend, but you enjoyed talking to her, and take it from there. If she's interested in picking up where you left off the previous weekend, great. If she's not, you'll be able to tell pretty quickly, and move on. Simple as that really....