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Mother in law has made me look unlawful

  • 03-03-2014 4:58pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 379 ✭✭


    Basically the mother in law has been rather flirtatious with me from the day my missus introduced us. Some of the stuff has been over the top like i nearly scolded myself making tea once cause she slapped my arse while i was pouring myself a cuppa. Ive always taken it as a joke but recently she has taken things a step further. She keeps calling me over to the house to fix petty little things.Her husband is useless at DIY, he would bring a ladder if he was laying a carpet so im always happy to help out.

    I think she breaks stuff on purpose just so she can call me though. Her toilet broke in her en suite on Saturday, it was like someone broke a clip off. So im over fixing it and shes her usual flirty self when her husband is out. Firstly she was dressed like a whores handbag with it all hanging out like a dogs tounge,no shame about it at all and then she was telling me im great with my hands & no wonder her daughter always has a smile on her face (she doesnt).

    So i finish up & as I'm leaving she takes a pair of what i later learned are worn under garments and puts them in my hand and says thanks for fixing the toilet. I didnt know what to do, i could have easily thrown them back but all i did was laugh nervously and got out as quickly as i could. So i get in the car & throw them on the back seat thinking what has just happened, i shouldnt have taken them out of the house to begin with but i forgot to dispose of them and then the missus only goes & takes the car out on Saturday evening and finds them. What could i do?

    Theres no way i could tell her about her about her mothers actions. i didnt know what to say so i came across rather guilty. so now i find myself kicked out of the house. How do you explain this, no matter what the outcome is its going to be very messy.

    She could deny it and the fact that I'm away with my job a lot, sometimes for a week or two like i am now makes it look like ive been playing the field. Also she clearly would have told her mother about this which would have provided her with the chance to come clean and say it was her under garments but didnt. If she did i dont her husband would be very pleased either. This is disasterous and to throw salt in the wound the under garments have somehow made there way into my travel bag.

    How would you approach this?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭MonkstownHoop


    It'll be all wright


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,337 ✭✭✭davo2001


    Sure you're f*ked now by the looks of it, if the mother in law is anyway good lookin you might as well lob it in!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,600 ✭✭✭893bet


    I would stop watching pornhub.


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,853 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kimbot


    Honesty is the best policy. Tell your other half whats going on as lying will only make matters worse.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,871 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    Basically the mother in law has been rather flirtatious with me from the day my missus introduced us. Some of the stuff has been over the top like i nearly scolded myself making tea once cause she slapped my arse while i was pouring myself a cuppa. Ive always taken it as a joke but recently she has taken things a step further. She keeps calling me over to the house to fix petty little things.Her husband is useless at DIY, he would bring a ladder if he was laying a carpet so im always happy to help out.

    I think she breaks stuff on purpose just so she can call me though. Her toilet broke in her en suite on Saturday, it was like someone broke a clip off. So im over fixing it and shes her usual flirty self when her husband is out. Firstly she was dressed like a whores handbag with it all hanging out like a dogs tounge,no shame about it at all and then she was telling me im great with my hands & no wonder her daughter always has a smile on her face (she doesnt).

    So i finish up & as I'm leaving she takes a pair of what i later learned are worn under garments and puts them in my hand and says thanks for fixing the toilet. I didnt know what to do, i could have easily thrown them back but all i did was laugh nervously and got out as quickly as i could. So i get in the car & throw them on the back seat thinking what has just happened, i shouldnt have taken them out of the house to begin with but i forgot to dispose of them and then the missus only goes & takes the car out on Saturday evening and finds them. What could i do?

    Theres no way i could tell her about her about her mothers actions. i didnt know what to say so i came across rather guilty. so now i find myself kicked out of the house. How do you explain this, no matter what the outcome is its going to be very messy.

    She could deny it and the fact that I'm away with my job a lot, sometimes for a week or two like i am now makes it look like ive been playing the field. Also she clearly would have told her mother about this which would have provided her with the chance to come clean and say it was her under garments but didnt. If she did i dont her husband would be very pleased either. This is disasterous and to throw salt in the wound the under garments have somehow made there way into my travel bag.

    How would you approach this?
    looks like you have a new missus


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    You probably shouldn't have been having sex with your mother-in-law.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,399 ✭✭✭fatherted1969


    Sell them on ebay


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭131spanner


    Pic of the mother in law?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,036 ✭✭✭mad m


    Hahahahahahahahaha!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,935 ✭✭✭randy hickey


    I'd approach them with tongs and lots of fire.


    I said tongs NOT thongs.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭Specialun


    You have an imagination that the goats of kerry


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,474 ✭✭✭vandriver


    Threesome


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    You just plain forget to get rid of them eh?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,829 ✭✭✭Nemeses


    Might be a good idea to remove the undies from the back seat before your missus sees them!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,724 ✭✭✭mixery


    that's just gas.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    OP you'll (probably) have better luck here

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1174


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 2,160 Mod ✭✭✭✭Oink


    Tell the truth. If the missus doesn't think you can be trusted, pack your bags. If you end up staying, never agree to be alone with the auld one again.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,509 ✭✭✭Lu Tze


    You should have handed them back saying they didn't look like they would fit you


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 379 ✭✭Its All Wright


    Ive been kicked out but i was leaving to go away with work anyway. I'm hoping thats its all blown over when i get back. I'm clinging onto the hope that the mother in law comes clean because i really dont fancy telling my missus that her mother gave me a pair of dirty underwear & i "forgot" to throw them away or hand them back


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Tell her you're a secret cross dresser.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,096 ✭✭✭Liamario


    I don't believe a word of your post, so I wouldn't worry. Perhaps the fair city production team would be more interested in your story.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,555 ✭✭✭SuperSean11


    Say that her dad gave them to you. Her mam will have to back you up so she's not caught. Best for everyone :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Is that you again Ross O'Carroll Kelly.

    Haven't you lifted enough stories from AH to drop them into your publications yet?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,318 ✭✭✭✭Menas


    Your father in law was on here last week complaining about his exhibitionist wife.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭dmc17


    Sounds interesting. What's the name of the movie?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,574 ✭✭✭BoardsMember


    Go for the chicken & egg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    OP you'll (probably) have better luck here

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1174

    I was thinking he'd be better off in Creative Writing.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,304 ✭✭✭bonzodog2


    Where's the unlawful bit?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,635 ✭✭✭Pumpkinseeds


    OP, if this genuinely did happen you need to tell your wife about it. The mother sounds like a dirty oul whoor, so to speak. It's not normal to hit on your daughters husband and if she's that blatent about hitting on you then it won't end with a pair of dirty knickers.

    Better to tell her the truth and deal with the fallout from that rather than have her make something up and tell your wife that you hit on her.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭holystungun9


    She wants the D so give her the D. Say something like "Fck sake, how can you keep breaking stuff? See if you break this you filthy dikbag!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,037 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    tell her they belong to her father


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,940 ✭✭✭ballsymchugh


    Tell her you're a secret cross dresser.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,241 ✭✭✭Auldloon


    You will prob get better advise here

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=116


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 892 ✭✭✭GenieOz


    That is probably the most elaborate story for cheating on your missus I've ever heard.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,281 ✭✭✭mackeire


    The only thing you can do here is ride the mother loads of times and in every room in the gaff.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    she takes a pair of what i later learned are worn under garments and puts them in my hand and says thanks for fixing the toilet.

    Did you do the sniff test OP?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,044 ✭✭✭Wabbit Ears


    All silly lies. I dont believe for a second that a married person whos mother in law flirts like crazy hasnt at some point in time said this to his wife.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,266 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,567 ✭✭✭Red Pepper


    I do not believe this story.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,036 ✭✭✭mad m




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