Kitten driving us mad

TJ Mackie

Hi all,

My partner and I recently adopted a 3 month old kitten. We've raised kittens before - we actually took in 2 4/5 week old kittens we found outside our apartment and they turned into absolutely fabulous cats who are now living down the country. They were so well behaved, we were really proud of the job we did. But this new guy, well, it's not going so well.

To put it simply - he just won't shut up. He's constantly meowing, 3 weeks on from us introducing him to the apartment and we're reaching the end of our tether. However, we're committed to making it work as we're completely against rehoming or giving up on the little guy, so we just want some help/advice if possible! Here's some more info:

- He's an indoor cat only. We don't know if he was an outdoor cat before we got him, but he doesn't sit near windows/the door so we don't think he's pining to go outside.

- He had 2 siblings so it could be that he just misses constantly having siblings and his mother around. But he doesn't seem upset.

- He is on his own from 9am - 1pm and 2pm - 5:30pm (we both work during the day, though I work just down the road so I get home for an hour at lunch every day). Whenever I come home, it's obvious he was sleeping as he's yawning and stretching when I come in the door.

- We leave a bowl of dry food for him available at all times, and feed him a small amount of wet food 3 times a day. He also has water and cat milk available to him all day. But he's very fussy with food - i.e. if I give him a small bowl of wet food, he'll eat a small bit or nothing at all and turn around and start meowing like crazy again. It's like he's sometimes reluctant to eat out of a bowl, yet he'll eat out of your hand if you give him small bits at a time like he's never eaten before. This is strange because sometimes he'll bury his head in his bowl and you wont hear a peep from him. It's just random times he won't want to eat from his bowl.

- We give him tuna as a treat when he's being quiet.

- He has a big €200 scratching post with multiple levels and dangling toys hanging from it, and he also has loads of shiny, slippery toys to play with which he loves.

As for the meowing, he seems to do it when he either wants food (but then its frustrating when you give him some and he wont eat it unless you hand feed it to him) or if he wants attention. Yet when you give him attention, he obviously laps it up but keeps meowing while you do it until he settles a bit. Then as soon as you stop, he's off again.

There's conflicting advice online - on one hand, I'm reading I shouldn't reward his little tantrums like this and I'm only encouraging him, but on the other hand I'm also reading that the move has turned his world upside down so he needs reassurance.

The most annoying part though, is at night time where we're really stuck. If we don't let him sleep at the bottom of our bed, he goes crazy. And because it's a small apartment, there's no escaping from it. We hear it through walls easily and it genuinely prevents us from sleeping and we are worried the neighbours hear. We've persevered a few times, and he eventually gives up at after half an hour. But at 5am EVERY morning - whether he sleeps in a separate room or in our room, he wants to get up and wakes us up by meowing constantly. So I get him up and feed him, but I can't go back to bed because unless I'm there beside him offering him things to play with, he won't stop meowing. We tried putting him in the bathroom with food/litter tray/bed this morning at 5am when he did it (as it's the furthest room away from neighbours and our own room) but he meowed straight for 2 hours. No exaggeration.

We give him loads of attention when we're home. Is he still just settling in? Is it because he has so much energy from sleeping during the day, that he only sleeps for a few hours at night and is ready to play at 5am?

And most importantly, what can we do to make it stop? Is it just a case of tiring him out in the evening and hoping he sleeps through to 7/8 when we get up? Should we be rewarding/disciplining him? And when he gets neutered at 6 months, will this have any affect?

Happy to give any other info in return for some helpful advice because when he's cuddled up beside you on the sofa, or just playing with his toys quietly, he's ridiculously cute.

Thanks,

aonb

Jeepers, this does sound like a problem all right.
Has he been checked by the vet?
Could it be a physical problem - with teeth or something? I would definately rule out physical problems first.
To be on his own in a strange place without his sibs and mother is a jolt, and 3 weeks isnt really that long

I wouldnt leave food available all day. If he is fussy its because he is not hungry enough. I would take up the food and milk, and just feed him small amounts x3 day. If he doesnt like to eat out of his bowl, I would put his food on a plate or some other type of dish. (Maybe the bowl moves or makes a noise that he doesnt like - who know?!?) I wouldnt feed him by hand too - give him the food on a plate or whatever, if he doesnt eat it, take it away, and give it to him again in a while.

Do you have a problem with him sleeping in your room? If you leave him sleep with you, will he stay settled/sleeping past 5am?

Have you tried playing with him at night before bed to tire him out?

boomerang

This is completely expected behaviour from a single kitten that is spending a share of each day alone. In short, the solution here is to adopt a second kitten of the same age, ideally already fully vaccinated.

Kittens that age should have unrestricted access to dry food - they will regulate their own intake. You can supplement with wet food at set meal times if you wish.

Pumpkinseeds

We had simillar issues with our foster kitten while she was in her safe room. Once she was allowed to play with our other cats she settled right in and the cats wore each other out. I had forgotten how much energy kittens have, I'd agree with boomerang about getting a companion kitten. It really doesn't add much additional expense and leads to a happier household, imo.

daveyboynire

I had the same problems with mine, He grew out of when he was about 6 months, I did read somewhere though that cats are most active at night so he is still young, its in his nature, his sleeping pattern will soon come right. Just tire the little bugger out as much as you can during the day with lazer pointers, cat wonds etc

TJ Mackie

boomerang wrote: »

Kittens that age should have unrestricted access to dry food - they will regulate their own intake. You can supplement with wet food at set meal times if you wish.

Thanks - this is exactly what we do so good to hear we're getting it right!

Re: adopting a second kitten - will our guy accept him? We took him to visit the other 2 kittens we rescued last year (who are now just under a year old) and he did nothing but hiss at them, despite them being the 2 most placid creatures I've ever known! Although maybe that's because it was in an unfamiliar territory?

boomerang

Yes, he most certainly will given his age, but you have to introduce a newcomer gradually. To begin with the new kitten would be in a separate room to your little guy, for at least for the first week. (Longer if the new kitten is un-vaccinated or still fighting off cat flu - that's why I'd recommend going for a kitten that's 100% well and fully vaccinated.) During that time, feed them on either side of the door that separates them and swap bedding between them. This way they are accustomed to each other's scent before the first face-to-face greeting.

Once they are mixing together happily, ensure there are resources aplenty for both, so nothing need be a source of conflict and neither kitten can stress the other by dominating a resource. So, at least two litter trays (ideally three but I know you're in an apartment) food bowl each, water bowl each, multiple places for them to scratch and sleep/perch.

Lots of good info on getting intros right if you google.

I guarantee it will make a massive difference to his quality of life and you'll all be much happier. Be sure both are spayed/neutered before they hit puberty.

Rips

You don't necessarily need another cat though.

It took maybe a month for our cat to show signs of setting.

He came with chronic diarrhoea so he was restricted to the bathroom a lot while we got that under control for a week ( it was bigger then the 2ft x 2ft kennel he'd been living in for a month previous)

He wasn't very vocal, but tearing up and down the halls at 3am is just as loud. Jumping at door handles trying to get from one room to another etc
Sitting on your face in the mornings etc

The only way we could make him settle was to structure his day.

Things like breaking the association between you getting up in the mornings = breakfast. Absolutely do not feed him first thing.

Do something else, or if he is going to meow regardless, then after you get up, play with him for 10mins, then put him in the bathroom for 10mins, and then feed him. Or similar, whatever works.

We would spend at least a half an hour running him ragged with toys in the evenings. Try not to let him nap in the day when you are around. You'll benefit in the long run even if its tiresome. My OH used to walk around with his shoelaces untied... it wouldn't work with an older cat, but with a kitten, well that game goes on all day. Giles learned to fetch, which is a really handy game, you can play on from the couch.

Ignore attention seeking behaviour, you have to be really strict, you can fall back into spontaneous cat-love later.

Having said that, we gave up on the bed issue, it wasn't a big deal really - and by the time he settled, he had migrated from the foot of the bed to underneath the covers, which is where he sleeps religiously, every night.

On the plus side, he goes to bed, when we do. Infact sometimes, if he's had a busy day, he can't wait :rolleyes:

Once we had a proper routine established, we were able to fall back on the way we would like to do things, so he is fed first thing, but he'll also go back to bed if one of us is sleeping later etc

He has become more and more vocal over the years because he's spoiled rotten, and now he does meow for attention, which is a bad habit, BUT, he does it during the daytime, because he knows, that's the time he gets playtime. So in the day, if you aren't playing with him, he get stroppy!

He still does the cat things, like trying to sit on your face in the mornings etc ... but with a lot less intensity!

franksm

Give him a night-light, it is surprising how it calms down some kittens. Or just leave a lamp on in a closed room for him

Pumpkinseeds

When our foster kitten Molly was in her safe room at night we'd leave a lamp on low and the radio on low, it seemed to settle her and was a bit of routine last thing at night when we put her to bed.