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Not so usual choice of underwear ...

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  • 27-02-2014 10:14pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Long time lurker, first time poster ...

    I've been married for 10+ years and we have a great relationship. I've always enjoyed buying my wife lingerie and she likes and enjoys that. Just recently, I tried on some of her knickers and found it a major turn-on. I got some male lace underwear and I'd love to involve her in my - I guess - fetish.

    My wife isn't a prude but our sex life is pretty vanilla. That last thing I want to do is upset her or have her freak out, I love her far too much for that. I'm straight, I've no interest in cross-dressing beyond wearing some of this stuff in private and, ideally, with her present.

    If anyone has any experience of broaching something like this with their partner, or tips on how to go about it, I'd be delighted to hear.

    Thanks for reading.


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    #2
    gg2
    Registered Users Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭gg2


    Just discuss it with her OP. She knows you, it's not like she's suddenly going to think your some sort of freak for wanting to wear lace underwear!! If my OH brought this up with me, I'd be more than willing to try it with him, if its something that turns him on.


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    #3
    Kenkashin
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Kenkashin


    Hmmm...

    I think if I were you I'd gently introduce this into your relationship. She may read into this fetish too much and it may alarm her. However if you start spicing up your sex life gradually and make her open minded to trying new things, when you do bring it up it won't be such a big deal.


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    #4
    desbrook
    Registered Users Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    Let's say I told you there was a 50/50 chance you would ruin your relationship with her by telling her this. Would you risk it? What I'm really saying OP is it really that important to share this ?
    Also for all you know what's a turn on in private may be a turn off in her presence .Theres a lot at stake and you are venturing into unknown territory.


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    #5
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    Not so usual underwear wrote: »
    Long time lurker, first time poster ...

    I've been married for 10+ years and we have a great relationship. I've always enjoyed buying my wife lingerie and she likes and enjoys that. Just recently, I tried on some of her knickers and found it a major turn-on. I got some male lace underwear and I'd love to involve her in my - I guess - fetish.

    Ok, here's the bit that I think your wife might find most challenging. I reckon you certainly could involve her in your fetish, as you clearly both have a thing for the lingerie. It might not be a big deal if you again tried on your wife's knickers, but in her presence this time, telling her you tried them on the other day and it really did it for you. I'll bet that would really work out for the pair of you, once she sees how much it turns you on, then she'll be equally turned on I'm sure.

    The bit where you've discovered a turn-on, didn't tell her and went off to buy your own knickers? Not such a turn-on that you've already been exploring this without her, and the danger is that she would feel left out as you're not discovering this together. I wouldn't mention the knickers you bought for yourself at first. See how you get on with trying hers on in her company this time.

    I suppose it comes down to how aware she is that you are playing by yourself?! I'd be aware that my fella does, and vice versa, plus it wouldn't be unusual to come out with "hey, this is really doing it for me, want to try it?", but that comes with practice at being more open about your fantasies and kinks. Go for it! Can only get better for you both!


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    #6
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    desbrook wrote: »
    Let's say I told you there was a 50/50 chance you would ruin your relationship with her by telling her this. Would you risk it? What I'm really saying is OP would is it really that important to share this ?
    Also for all you know what's a turn on in private may be a turn off in her presence .Theres a lot at stake and you are venturing into unknown territory.


    I have to agree with des on this one. OP you say you have a great relationship, your wife is no prude but your sex life is vanilla. That doesn't sound like a great relationship tbh, and this introduction out of the blue of you suggesting you try you wearing lace underwear together - It's one thing your wife enjoying wearing it, it's a completely different thing expecting that your wife should enjoy YOU wearing it, because that will eventually lead to you wanting to wear it during sex, to spice up what you feel is your vanilla sex life.

    You know your wife best, and can you honestly see her going for this? I would suggest you find any of a million other ways to spice up your sex life first and open up more to your wife about things (from your thread title alone it seems you couldn't even bring yourself to say the word 'unusual', and went with the phrase 'not so usual' instead, why?).

    Find other ways to work on things in the bedroom before you go there with telling your wife about your fetish, each of us will have different opinions here, but at the end of the day the only person whose opinion is going to matter is your wife's opinion, and she may just be appalled by the idea of you wearing women's underwear or male lace underwear.


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