i dont think ill ever have the privelage of intelligence <Mod Snip>

LegacyUser

I have a slow brain. People get annoyed with my stupidity daily. I feel like I'm constantly in a trance, I can't listen in a conversation and can't focus in a lecture. I lose my train of thought in seconds. All I want to do is be intelligent its almost an obsession at this point but its not gonna happen, always been this way always will be and it means I'm going to miss out on all the things I shouldn't. I'm so self conscious and self hating about all of this I'm too afraid to open my mouth anymore and have developed social anxiety and lost a lot of relationships, which makes it worse. The world hates stupid people. I just don't want to live in a world where my interactions with people consist of being humored at best and bullied at worst. Is there any way of increasing your intelligence? What different things can make your intelligence go down? I've stopped drinking, smoking and eating unhealthy foods for the past 2 years and seem to have gotten worse. I think its genetic.. Noone wants to help the stupid they just hate them and see them as a waste of space , a target. I got into college and struggled ended up dropping out, all around me I had people saying I should "just do makeup", that would suit me more and "college isn't for everyone" and not so sutble hints that because I'm stupid I don't deserve access to higher education. I'd love if one day I found out this was all diet related but have a feeling ill be the butt of every joke for a long time... I can't take it. Its like every time I make a contribution in a conversation people go silent or start sniggering so its left me thinking I should just shut up and be qiuet, try to be as invisible as possible. I dream of joining in with things, being an active member of society. But instead ill end up poor in a council house at best by the time I'm 40.

Op,

feel like I'm constantly in a trance, I can't listen in a conversation and can't focus in a lecture. I lose my train of thought in seconds.

There could be other reasons for your lack of attention span than anything to do with intelligence. I suggest you go to your GP and explain you have trouble focusing on anything and space out a bit. I suspect it will not be intelligence related at all. Don't call yourself stupid, you aren't.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, I have snipped the title of your post, because I think it will allow you to get better replies from posters here who will advise you without bias. If you wish to contact any of the Personal Issues Moderators for clarification you can do so without fear of being identified.

Merkin

You write clearly and concisely OP so you have genuinely nothing to worry about with regard to your intelligence.

bluewolf wrote: »

There could be other reasons for your lack of attention span than anything to do with intelligence. I suggest you go to your GP and explain you have trouble focusing on anything and space out a bit. I suspect it will not be intelligence related at all. Don't call yourself stupid, you aren't.

I second this. There are a veritable plethora of medical conditions that could compromise one's concentration and attention span. Epilepsy, anxiety, dyspraxia, ADHD, depression are, to name but a few, all conditions that could really compromise your ability to focus.

Go and speak to a GP in the first instance so you can get the help you need. You're bright as a button so I wouldn't worry about your level of intelligence.

Neyite

Whoever is telling you those kind of negative things about you is wrong.

You sound full of empathy, insight, self awareness, and far from stupid.
Do discuss it with your GP - maybe its medical, maybe there are places you can get referred to to get assesments to rule out certain things.

Big Bag of Chips

A friend of mine that I was in school with from infants is one of the most intelligent people I know. He is not academic. School wasn't for him. He struggled every single day. He did lower level everything for his junior cert and foundation level in the core subjects. He left school as soon as he was allowed.

But I cannot stress how intelligent this man is. Being "good" at school or college is just one sort of intelligence. This man is so articulate, has insights into life that wouldn't even cross my (more academic) mind. He is a genius when it comes to all things electronic or mechanical. He had a car radio hooked up to and powered by his bicycle when we were in 1st year in school!! He knew things naturally that other people would take years trying to learn.

But by some people's definitions he would be classed as "stupid", "unintelligent" etc.

I have an incredibly intelligent son! He is years ahead of his classmates in academic ability, but he has no cop on.. none! We got a book a while back where it explained there are so many levels of "giftedness". My son is gifted academically. But would be lacking in many many other areas of "intelligence". It did him good to realise that he is clever.. but he is not better or worse than other people who have their own strengths. He's 8 and has that insight - it sounds like some of the adults you are speaking to don't have the same.

Intelligence is so broad. The mind is so complex. To simplify it down to you're either intelligent or stupid is to do a great disservice to it.

As mentioned by everyone, there could be any number of reasons why your concentration isn't great. There could be any number of reasons why you struggle with the academic side of things. I would definitely suggest a visit to your GP for a chat and maybe a referral. You may find out something about how your brain works or is wired that will help you learn in a different way to the standard school/college studying.

You are an incredibly articulate person. Your opening post is so well worded and phrased, that I can guarantee you, you are not "stupid". Your brain might operate in a different way to others, but that does not mean you are unintelligent. And I'd do my best to avoid anyone who tries to tell you, you are. You also have to consider that the people suggesting you take certain career paths might be projecting their own limitations on you. If they are not overly ambitious themselves, they might try to encourage you to not put so much pressure on yourself.

The Corinthian

Well, you managed to get into third level education, which would be an indication that you're probably not dumb, whatever about intelligent.

Secondly, your problem, as you describe it, is with focus and maintaining your attention; that's not quite the same thing as intelligence.

Thirdly, I assure you stupid people, really are stupid. Truth is you're comparing yourself to your peers and have been for a long time. It starts in school as we get channelled into honours or pass-level classes, or whatever system of labelling is in use. In university, we're surrounded only by that fraction of society who both worked hard and have a tendency to be intelligent (as this gives an edge, no matter how hard you work). Then comes your working life - guess what, surrounded by people, most likely at a simelar intellectual level to yourself, given that specific minimum intellectual levels tend to be a requirement to most occupations.

It's something I realized in boarding school, as there you're dumped in with a cross section whom you'd never normally socialize with in a day school. I'd imagine, military service would be a simelar place where you'd come across this. Basically, when people are stupid, they really are stupid. Scary stupid. Should not be allowed to breed stupid.

Read After Hours for a while and you'll get a better idea of what I mean.

So are you really dumb, or are you simply the dumbest of the smart people? In other words, average? Or simply have poor focus, which if dealt with you could keep up with the best of them?

Whatever it is, my guess is you're unlikely to be stupid. You do appear to have low self esteem issues though. Definitely would look into that.

coolemon

anonymousseinthehouse wrote: »

I have a slow brain. People get annoyed with my stupidity daily. I feel like I'm constantly in a trance, I can't listen in a conversation and can't focus in a lecture. I lose my train of thought in seconds. All I want to do is be intelligent its almost an obsession at this point but its not gonna happen, always been this way always will be and it means I'm going to miss out on all the things I shouldn't. I'm so self conscious and self hating about all of this I'm too afraid to open my mouth anymore and have developed social anxiety and lost a lot of relationships, which makes it worse. The world hates stupid people. I just don't want to live in a world where my interactions with people consist of being humored at best and bullied at worst. Is there any way of increasing your intelligence? What different things can make your intelligence go down? I've stopped drinking, smoking and eating unhealthy foods for the past 2 years and seem to have gotten worse. I think its genetic.. Noone wants to help the stupid they just hate them and see them as a waste of space , a target. I got into college and struggled ended up dropping out, all around me I had people saying I should "just do makeup", that would suit me more and "college isn't for everyone" and not so sutble hints that because I'm stupid I don't deserve access to higher education. I'd love if one day I found out this was all diet related but have a feeling ill be the butt of every joke for a long time... I can't take it. Its like every time I make a contribution in a conversation people go silent or start sniggering so its left me thinking I should just shut up and be qiuet, try to be as invisible as possible. I dream of joining in with things, being an active member of society. But instead ill end up poor in a council house at best by the time I'm 40.

The reality OP is that it is clear from your post that you are intelligent. As others have pointed out, your post is incredibly articulate and clear. You have managed to communicate your situation and feelings in a way not everyone can do. I myself feel it far easier to respond to someone's post than to start a thread and write something from scratch like you have done.

I firmly believe that intelligence, for the most part, is a product of a persons circumstances. Of their upbringing, their social environment, their social connections and influences, their access to cultural and economic forms of 'wealth' - rather than some inherent and innate genetic or psychological trait or 'gift'.

I did pretty bad in school myself. I was placed in the 'bottom class' from the beginning of secondary school until leaving. With lower maths, lower Irish and the lowest (ordinary) English. I was in and out of remedial classes. I was labelled and called from the time I entered secondary school until I left as "bottom of the stream" - literally. And by pig ignorant teachers who should have known better.

But I know now why that was. And it had nothing to do with an innate intelligence and everything to do with my circumstances. A single parent background, an unskilled background, little to no valuable social connections or influences to shape that clueless little boy I was.

The important thing to remember if you are to take anything from this post is that who you are and your intelligence is a product of your circumstances - not with you or some inherent failing.

There is a tendency in todays society to atomise and individualise problems -> to look for 'causes' in the individual themselves. If you look at the popular media it is almost always psychologists who are wheeled out for advice rather than sociologists. Because to question society is to question power. They want you to think it is your fault and that you have innate problems.

Anyway that's a bit of a ramble there. Trust me OP, if you can type and write an opening post like that, there is nothing deficient about you. Is there a way of increasing intelligence? You can improve your intelligence through practice and exposing yourself to ideas and situations. If someone is lacking in "social intelligence" - mix with people. If someone is lacking academic intelligence" - practice the discipline.

You wont even notice improvements. But they occur through exposure. People are not born with intelligence. It is learned. And you can learn it to.

Jenneke87

I so recognize your story. After a number of surgeries in a short span, combined with being depressed for an extended period of time, I developed huge memory problems. The result was and is, is that I have great difficulty focussing, remembering things and whereas I could learn quickly in the past, my failing memory makes me a slow learner and resulted in being fired a number of times because I couldn't pick up quick enough.

Just like you, I lose my train of thought in seconds and get lost in a whole other world, and start thinking about things that are completely unrelated to what I'm doing or trivel things that happend recently. I constantly have to tell myself to focus and to step up, otherwise I'm all over the place. It makes me very nervous when someone asks me what I'm doing because I immediately assume I must have done something wrong. Like you, I've become quiet when I'm with other people because I lost track of what they are talking about and it wouldn't be the first time I popped in a comment and they were already talking about something else, or my mind wasn't fast enough to process what they said and I would be sitting here thinking:"What is he/she on about.

I can't give you any advice on what to do about it. Hopefully your GP can do something, because mine couldn't and it's a scary feeling, knowing that your own mind is failing you in some way and you can't control it no matter what. I wish you the best of luck.

skooterblue2

I have a lot of questions

anonymousseinthehouse wrote: »

People get annoyed with my stupidity daily. I feel like I'm constantly in a trance, I can't listen in a conversation and can't focus in a lecture.

Is there a big gap in your results between your promising Junior cert and leaving cert?

anonymousseinthehouse wrote: »

always been this way always will be and it means I'm going to miss out on all the things I shouldn't. I'm so self conscious and self hating about all of this I'm too afraid to open my mouth anymore and have developed social anxiety and lost a lot of relationships, which makes it worse. The world hates stupid people.I think its genetic.. Noone wants to help the stupid they just hate them and see them as a waste of space , a target.

I am getting that you are feeling bullied. I am guessing you dont have great hand to eye co-ordination. Lot of self loathing there. I dont think you are stupid. I would tell you that straight if you wrote it in text speak but it is both grammatically and spelling wise correct.

anonymousseinthehouse wrote: »

I think its genetic..

Why do you think its genetic? Do you have another sibling or first degree relative, possibly on your fathers side, who is similar?

anonymousseinthehouse wrote: »

I got into college and struggled ended up dropping out, all around me I had people saying I should "just do makeup", that would suit me more and "college isn't for everyone" and not so sutble hints that because I'm stupid I don't deserve access to higher education. I'd love if one day I found out this was all diet related but have a feeling ill be the butt of every joke for a long time... I can't take it. Its like every time I make a contribution in a conversation people go silent or start sniggering so its left me thinking I should just shut up and be qiuet, try to be as invisible as possible. I dream of joining in with things, being an active member of society.

You got into college on your own merits, no one elses. Do you have an extreme interest in a narrow or specialise field? Like Starwars, a segment of history, a segment of science, a certain TV show etc etc
Do you have a collection of toys or certain items?

Were you happy playing on your own as a child?
Would you like to have a certain status in society?
Do you often feel you are out of sync with people like you are on the outside looking in?
Do you find it hard to bond with people like friends?

Teyla Emmagan

Just to second everyone else that says your OP shows no signs that you are lacking intelligence. It's well written, shows great insight, emotional intelligence, recognition of the world around you and how it works, more than anything else it shows you're a sensitive soul, and you don't have many 'stupid' people like that.

I have a cousin who, on paper, is a genius. Got into Oxford, got a first (in theoretical physics or something most of us could never understand). Lives in his parents' upstairs bedroom at the age of nearly 30 and has never had a job. He's the most clueless person you have ever met. They actually despair what they'll do with him now - it's all very sad.

Having a high IQ doesn't actually mean that much then. I know a lot of people who were rubbish at school and have really happy, successful lives.

To be honest, I think you're being way too hard on yourself. You have confidence issues, which are probably related to your anxiety and judging yourself too harshly.

Go see someone who can help make you feel better about yourself, because you seem to be ahead of the pack intelligence-wise from what I can see.

skooterblue2

OP
Have you spoken to a proper medical professional about this? NOT a counselor!!
Approximately how old are you?
I am guessing not many boyfriends?
I gather you are not a bitchy person that you dont engage much in gossip?

@Teyla Emmagan
Your poor cousin probably has Aspergers syndrome. and it has neither never been diagnosed or noone ever cared about him to say it.

Teyla Emmagan

skooterblue2 wrote: »

@Teyla Emmagan
Your poor cousin probably has Aspergers syndrome. and it has neither never been diagnosed or noone ever cared about him to say it.

Maybe, and thank you. I will have a think about that.

skooterblue2

good place to start with is Tony Attwood book a complete guide to Aspergers.
Don't complain about the price its only about €25 including shipping if you get it on ebay.

Aspegers isnt like a broken leg where there are definite and categorical symptoms. Infact there leaves a lot to be desired in the diagnosis. Its like pick and mix, just because you take out the liquorice allsorts doesn't mean its not pick and mix. It is like a sliding scale. Your cousin is possibly at the top and would probably be better off in a research position at the university with social supports put in place.

There is a special recruitment agency for people with Aspergers and they just dont cover the higher sciences, they also cover other sectors as well.

Big Bag of Chips

skooterblue2, while we appreciate the sentiment behind your posts, diagnoses of any form is not allowed on Boards.ie. Also, please bear in mind that this is the OP's post, where they came to get advice on their issue. Discussing a relative of another poster, and what they might or might not have or which job might best suit them, is offering nothing by way of advice to the OP.

Back on topic now, thanks.

skooterblue2

I agree and sorry BIG Bag of Chips. I am not Diagnosing as I am not qualified to. Aspergers Syndrome manifests in Men and women very differently.

OP I am suggesting you need to see a proper health care professional. Certain things a GP will miss and an ordinary psychiatrist with the health board WON'T have the experience to see it. I won't slate them openly here but they are not set up properly to spot what you have.

I think investing in a proper psychological report from an experienced "educational" Psychologist rather than and psychiatrist would be money well spent(circa €500). If you need a recommendation try Aspire.ie. Ask for an "old boy", they usually see these things fairly fast. A psych report will take 3 weeks to compile and things should move along briskly from there.

GreeBo

Hey OP, in my experience, stupid people don't know they are stupid, they aren't aware at all. Based on your post I'd say you have little to worry about on that side...just chat to your doc about attention problems
Also, little things like reading the paper or watching the news can really help

skooterblue2

GreeBo wrote: »

t I'd say you have little to worry about on that side...just chat to your doc about conversion problems

Your average GP will NOT spot this. This is something that has been missed through your educational history. Your GP will probably write a prescription as they are not trained to catch this particular thing. This is something very important that needs to be got to the root of. When you get started on this you will get all the answers to the questions in your life you have been asking.

Noo

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

I cant add any advice to what has already been said but going by your original post you are far from stupid . Traditional education does not suit everyone and you are judging yourself on traditional measurements of intelligence. My brother was absolutely terrible in school, dropped out of college. He always asked me when we were younger, when the inevitable would eventually happen our folks, if he could have the house as he'd never be able to get a decent job etc when he was older. He judged himself like you but you should see him now. He's still not 30 but has a great job in the field he dropped out from in college (he actually loved the subject just couldn't hack the academic side of things),, last year had a big wedding and bought a house.

Anyway im rambling now but my point is you are intelligent, you're just yet to discover how to harness it outside of societys traditional 'intelligent' ways.

ivytwine

Hey OP,

Can I ask what you are doing in college?

When I was in primary school I was very very bright. Not blowing my trumpet but one of the smartest in the school. I scored in the top percentile for English.

However I was always bad at maths, and my mother had the attitude (she was bad at maths too) that look, you don't have to be the best at everything, you're good enough as you are, as long as you work hard. I was lucky she had that attitude. It helped me later on as either the curriculum caught up with me, or I got stupider (not sure which).

In secondary school I still excelled at English and History, but other subjects became harder. I also became best friends with someone who is a certified genius (tho she would baulk at that title and I don't think her IQ has ever actually been tested). What's more, she was an all-rounder- music, maths, science, English, history, art- the lot. I know that I will never be as smart as her, and I'm fine with that. She works in science now and sometimes she explains her work and I'm there..... wat

In third level, we discussed topics that were intentionally meant to push the limits of human intelligence. Grasping them required head melting logic and I didn't often succeed. I failed exams in college because I couldn't understand the topic- I went from primary school genius to barely scraping through college.

Sorry for rambling but there is no shame in finding college hard.

So assess the situation. Is it the course that's the problem?

Also what is your environment like? Are you getting enough sleep? Drinking enough water and eating a decent amount of fruit and veg and fish? Are you spending alot of time online especially at night? I find my smartphone is ruining my attention span and I think alot of people are the same.

A small idea would be to buy a newspaper everyday or a puzzle book and do a few crosswords or sudokus every week. Try brain training on the DS or read more books.

None of this will make you more intelligent (I think you come across pretty clever already btw) but it will help your focus and span.

Good luck OP

skooterblue2

ivytwine wrote: »

Sorry for rambling but there is no shame in finding college hard.

So assess the situation. Is it the course that's the problem?

Also what is your environment like? Are you getting enough sleep? Drinking enough water and eating a decent amount of fruit and veg and fish? Are you spending alot of time online especially at night?

The OP is probably feeling a bit depressed. right? This is because of the failure to connect socially...... The problem isnt depression it is because the roots are deeper than than.

The OP probably enjoys the course content its just the social failing is interfering with her mental health. This is throwing her sleep patterns out and inturn causing more stress.

ivytwine

Definitely agree Skooterblue. I know we can't give medical diagnoses here but some conditions can lead to a lack of concentration and apathy. Likewise, if the OP's self-esteem is low and this issue is taking up a lot of her time and brainpower it will not help either.

Tokyo

skooterblue2 - you have already received one in-thread warning regarding offering medical advice to the OP. Making broad statements that "the average GP" will not be able to help the OP, and laying out a course of action that in your opinion the GP would follow is at best misleading, and again falls under the purview of offering uneducated medical advice.

Considering the previous warning, you have been infracted for offering medical advice, and ignoring a previous moderator instruction not to. Please read the forum charter before posting again, as infractions are accumulative, and may lead to a ban.

Regards,
Mike

Mousewar

OP - my take is that you're just suffering a complete lack of confidence, which is hardly surprising given some of the people you have unfortunately had to associate with. The self-consciousness and the self-hatred you mention just reinforces this everyday, making you feel worse and worse. The truth is that an awful lot of people get things said to them everyday that might make them feel stupid or unworthy but those with confidence in themselves just shake it off or ignore it. They know they're not stupid or at the very least they're not going to let some nobody make them think they are. Those without confidence take everything bad that is said to them and cement it in their brain as fact.

You're clearly not stupid, as you are articulate and self-aware. Don't let other people dictate to you how you view yourself and how you live your life.

Humria

OP, IMO what you are describing is a problem with attention and concentration rather than intelligence. It's very difficult to understand something if you actually haven't heard or processed the information to begin with.

You are also describing problems with anxiety and feeling self-conscious which if you think about it, is only making it even more difficult. If your head is full of all that, how much room have you left to take in information in a lecture! You mentioned that things have gotten worse in the last two years and I bet that if you look back, your "intelligence" has declined as your anxiety has increased.

The good news is that you can improve your attention. First, go to your GP and discuss your issues with anxiety. It can't hurt to try quieten all the noise in your head and improving your anxiety can only increase your quality of life. I'd suggest talking to a counsellor about your anxiety issues too if possible. There are a number of strategies that can help with concentration so do some research on that yourself as well.

Try play to your strengths, do you remember information better if you see it or hear it? Personally, I'm very visual. I need visual aids and to write things down to help me remember them. If you remember information better if you hear it, talk out loud and keep repeating information that you want to remember.

There is also a lot of evidence that practicing mindfulness actually can makes physical changes in your brain and improve attention. It could be worth exploring that. I'd suggest you try it in a group setting as it could support you in practicing it.

It's great that you have improved your diet and stopped smoking but how well are you sleeping? Sleep has an enormous effect on our ability to concentrate as well as our mood. If you are not getting enough sleep then everything is more difficult.

sopretty

Hello Op.
While you have received some wonderful advice already from posters, I feel compelled to give you my tuppence-worth.

As has already been mentioned, you in no way sound lacking in intelligence to me. I was gripped by your OP. And that is coming from someone with a very short attention span! I often start to read opening posts and just lose interest, but I was drawn in by your writing and your articulation of your current thoughts and feelings.

I think the best advice that you have been given is to visit your GP to discuss the inability to concentrate. Has that always been the case, or is it more recent? As mentioned by another poster, an inability to concentrate can be as a result of any number of underlying conditions. A GP should be able to have a thorough chat with you to establish any potential causes. Obviously they will know the right questions to ask. They're not all stupid.

It is quite clear from your post also, that you have somehow labelled yourself as 'stupid'. I wonder have you been called stupid by people during your life? Just because someone says you are stupid doesn't make it so!

As has also already been mentioned, stupid people don't tend to realise that they might be slightly lacking in intellect lol. Ignorance is bliss as they say!

It is brilliant that you have cut out alcohol and cigarettes. Water, exercise, good diet (eliminate caffeine if you can - it affects me badly in increasing that random chatter and wandering thoughts in my brain). Exercise is useful. Also as has been mentioned, puzzles and brain training could help you too.

Finally, I am now in my mid-thirties. I had great 'notions' as a child of the successful glowing career I would have. My parents instilled these lofty notions in me, with the best of intentions. They wanted me to aim high I guess. Middle of the road was unacceptable. So, I got 515 points in my leaving cert and off I went to DCU, only to discover that I have the emotional IQ of a gnat. I went off the rails, felt completely out of my depth and dropped out. I have worked as a secretary most of my life. I am now in my mid-thirties and would you believe that it is only NOW that I have come to realise that college just was not for me. I made two more failed starts at 3rd level, the last of which commenced last year. It was a FETAC level 6 course. I completed 1 module, got a Distinction in the module and promptly dropped out. It was only then, that I realised, that 3rd level academic study just simply is not for me. What a revelation!

The acceptance of myself as I am, has improved my quality of life hugely. I live in a council house lol. Feck it, life doesn't always go to plan!

There is more than one way to skin a cat. In one of my jobs, I was handling contracts worth millions of dollars. I was under extreme stress and pressure. I was earning 24.5k per year. The boys out on the factory floor, operating the machinery, were on 40k per year, with none of the stress that I had lol! Who felt stupider in that situation I wonder?

My two siblings are in highly professional careers. I think that put massive pressure on me.

I'm at a place in my life now however, where I wish I had enjoyed all those years when I was working, rather than feeling I was a failure.

Best of luck to you.

partyatmygaff

You're more articulate and better spoken than the vast majority of people I know.

Having difficulties focusing or paying attention is no more than what it is, it's not a sign of lack of intelligence.

Mousewar

partyatmygaff wrote: »

Having difficulties focusing or paying attention is no more than what it is, it's not a sign of lack of intelligence.

I'd agree with this. By all means, visit a doctor if you're concerned, but lots of people have difficulty concentrating. I have a long academic background and would have been well considered by lecturers and supervisors and colleagues. Yet I always zoned out of lectures. Daydreams and whatnot. I still zone out of meetings today to be honest. I just don't think it's necessarily that big a deal and you shouldn't read too much into it.

sopretty

Mousewar wrote: »

I'd agree with this. By all means, visit a doctor if you're concerned, but lots of people have difficulty concentrating. I have a long academic background and would have been well considered by lecturers and supervisors and colleagues. Yet I always zoned out of lectures. Daydreams and whatnot. I still zone out of meetings today to be honest. I just don't think it's necessarily that big a deal and you shouldn't read too much into it.

Lol, yes, sometimes my own thoughts are more interesting that what someone is prattling on to me about!
That said, I would certainly rule out any other cause first.

LegacyUser

Op here again, took me a while to find this old thread. I was in such a bad way at the time of writing that I wasn't fully with it. I was actually living in a homeless shelter at the time and had so many other issues that were probably playing into this obsession I developed. I thought all my failings in life were caused by a lack of intelligence but really it had a lot to do with background circumstances growing up like neglect and coming from single parent family and other family issues. I was also so overwhelmed by the kindness in the responses that I couldn't think of anything to say despite trying. Again my head wasn't in a great place and I was suffering quite badly with other psychiatric symptoms so it probably would have come out very confused. Anyway fast forward to now, I've reapplied for college and still keeping up the healthy habits which are finally paying off. Altogether a more happy, focused person. I no longer believe I'm plain stupid or worthless. I can't actually believe I got to a point where here enjoying life again, I didn't think it was possible. I can't thank all of you who wrote responses enough. I was expecting abuse and instead got replies from thoughtful, clever people that really helped snap me out of a downward spiral. I did look into things more with the doctor and having already received a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and social phobia, she said that staying inside so much and lack of social circle as a result of these, in my case, were probably not helping intelligence. It was extremely difficult to break some of those bad habits but the pay off was getting clear thoughts back. I'm hopeful I can mould myself into a more well rounded person now. Thank you so much. Getting emotional again now so I'll leave it at that.

Rubberchikken

Hi

Good post and good insight into how you feel.
Have you or would you talk to your gp?

Tbh if you feel your fruends are sniggering behind your back then maybe you could do with some better friends.
Good friends make you feel good not bad.

Take care