Wondering

LegacyUser

About to crack up, so dissatisfied with my physical relationship. I know this is usually a male issue but Is watching porn ok, or is it a betrayal? (I'm Female). Love him, but need something more.

Tokyo

You don't give much info about your relationship, but IMHO watching porn isn't a betrayal, regardless of your gender. However, if you are dissatisfied with your physical relationship, perhaps a more mutually productive approach would be to talk with your partner about this, and see if it could be improved upon?

LegacyUser

He's absolutely fine with everything on his side so everything is 'great', it's just me who's not.

We are married, together 13+ yrs

ceannbui

porn is fine in small doses, it can even spice things up a bit if both of you are into it. if it's affecting your relationship (eg you think its wrong but he keeps doing it), then it's something you need to discuss. If it is interfering with your sexual relationship then there's a problem. people can get addicted to pornography

Matteroffact

Watching porn can destroy relationships because it can lead to unreal expectations, as it is all hyped up. This seems to be what is happening in your relationship. You obviously feel that what you are watching is what everyone else is doing and you are missing out, but in the real world people do not perform like they do in porn. This could be why you are dissatisfied with your relationship, so the solution is to cut out watching porn and have a discussion with your o/h about what you would like. Each relationship is different and what satisfies one person may not satisfy another so communication is key.

Penny Tration

Wonderingaa wrote: »

He's absolutely fine with everything on his side so everything is 'great', it's just me who's not.

We are married, together 13+ yrs

Everything is NOT great, though.

You need to tell him in no uncertain terms, just how unhappy you are sexually. If he's not willing to sit down, talk and try to make changes, you have to think about whether you're willing to accept what you get for the rest of your life.

Merkin

I think porn for either partner is fine in addition to a healthy relationship. Regardless of how much satisfying sex you enjoy with your partner, masturbation is enjoyable too and it's no harm indulging from that perspective or enjoying it together.

However, you are basically saying that you are entirely dissatisfied with your sex life with your husband and is there any harm in using porn as a crutch or replacement. Yes there is. Because then porn becomes your sex life and that's really not healthy at all as it's a distortion of reality and means you're actually using virtual means to hide behind very real problems.

I think you need to talk to your husband and tell him how dissatisfied you are. If you can't work this out together then perhaps you should invoke the help of a psychosexual counsellor to get things back on track.