Terminal lung cancer.

LegacyUser

Hi all, just wondering if anyone can offer help and advice.

My granny has got terminal cancer, we only found out two weeks ago but shes getting weaker and weaker, and thinner and thinner. She is meant to be getting three rounds of chemo starting on Tuesday however as shes so weak, some family members are unsure if that will even go ahead.
At the moment shes just at home, apart from her chemo appointment we haven't really had any contact or help from the hospital or his GP. I feel like we aren't getting a lot of help, (mainly emotionally as I don't think we need a nurse coming in yet or anything).
We didn't even get to talk to a doctor about it, we met them to confirm it was cancer but not since, we had a meeting set up but no doctor showed and they only told us details about how bad it is and the chemo over the phone in the past week. Apart from this we only know the lung cancer already spread to a few spots.

I'm one of those who like to know what to expect, so I suppose I'm asking what is likely to come next for my granny and our family. I've no idea how much time we have with her, whether its weeks or months but im scared with how weak she is its going to be alot sooner than expected.

I don't really know why im posting this, i suppose im looking for answers that aren't there..
Thanks anyways.

Condo131

Hi wishingforanswers,
"I don't really know why im posting this, i suppose im looking for answers that aren't there.."

It can help to talk about it, maybe that's one of the reasons you're posting. I'd strongly recommend talking to a Specialist Cancer Nurse on the Irish Cancer Society's FREEFONE line 1800-200-700 The line is open 9-7 Mon to Thurs and 9-5 on Fridays. You'll be able to talk, in confidence, and should be able to find out what you can expect.
This is a very tough time for you and your family. You don't have to do it alone.

Sorry I can't offer more than this.
Condo(r)

Anomic

Hey,

so sorry to hear about your gran, went thro the same thing with my dad 2 years ago and the best advice I can give you is talk the nearest Daffodil care team to you - http://www.cancer.ie/how-we-can-help/daffodil-centres . Most hospitals have one, and you can just pop in for a chat and they will give you all the info and support you need.

The other thing is, if the doctors are recommending chemo then she probably has time left. Like your gran, my da was terminal ( stage 4) when diagnosed with secondaries, and started chemo straight away. Docs said he would have 3 months without chemo and 9 months with. He passed away ten months later. The weakness was very noticable at the beginning, initial shock and all that,and low blood, but he perked up again and had 6 months of good quality of life, before he started to fade.

I would say ring doc back and make a face to face app for your gran & family members, sooner rather than later, and with your grans approval have a list of questions prepared. If she does go down the route of chemo , I found the nurses in chemo ward were the best at providing answers and for that little bit of support. Also the local hospice sent a nurse out every week for the last few months, which was a blessing.

Sorry there isn't really anything positive I can say, other than contact the daffodil folk and hugs to you and your family.

Enc

I had cancer 5 yrs ago when I was 22. I had chemo and I didn't take well to it. It was impossible I always say I'd never do it again if it cost my life and I am very sure about that. However ALL treatments are prob different it depends on the strength and how many hours it's administered for.
I would ask what are the chances of it helping? If it does help how long will it give?
If it was my granny I wouldn't want to see her suffer with chemo!! One of my friends came to me when her mum was sick and she said E you know Mum wasn't too bad until she had chemo and she went downhill over night with the side effects.
I am friends with an oncology nurse who is working on a cancer ward and the nurses argue with the oncologists when they give elderly people chemo!! Sometimes they don't know when enough is enough and if it doesn't respond to one they give another and another and another.
Every oncologist should have a liaison nurse who are absolutely wonderful to talk to and explain things etc.
You can reach them by phoning the hospital and ask to be put through.
Palliative care are also really good to talk to and care for patients exceptionally well. You don't have to be terminally Ill to see them. They help with pain side effects. If you would prefer not to have them coming to the house right now they also have clinics.

Enc

I had cancer 5 yrs ago when I was 22. I had chemo and I didn't take well to it. It was impossible I always say I'd never do it again if it cost my life and I am very sure about that. However ALL treatments are prob different it depends on the strength and how many hours it's administered for.
I would ask what are the chances of it helping? If it does help how long will it give?
If it was my granny I wouldn't want to see her suffer with chemo!! One of my friends came to me when her mum was sick and she said E you know Mum wasn't too bad until she had chemo and she went downhill over night with the side effects.
I am friends with an oncology nurse who is working on a cancer ward and the nurses argue with the oncologists when they give elderly people chemo!! Sometimes they don't know when enough is enough and if it doesn't respond to one they give another and another and another.
Every oncologist should have a liaison nurse who are absolutely wonderful to talk to and explain things etc.
You can reach them by phoning the hospital and ask to be put through.
Palliative care are also really good to talk to and care for patients exceptionally well. You don't have to be terminally Ill to see them. They help with pain side effects. If you would prefer not to have them coming to the house right now they also have clinics.

I only have experience with this through my friends dad. He was told he had cancer and went through a year of chemo, before chemo he was ok.
As time went on it was obvious the chemotherapy wasn't working, but my friend told me that until the family persuaded him to stop the treatment, that they would keep on giving it to him. He had to say he didn't want anymore treatment, which was really hard for them all.

I think its worth trying but after the first round if it hasn't worked then its time to stop. Chemo really takes it out of you, far more than the cancer.
It depends I suppose on how much your granny wants to fight it and how strong she is.

When my friends dad stopped, they were told he had 3 weeks, he lived 5 months and only in the last month was he really sick. He did a lot, including travel over the previous months, that they said he should be dead.
Chemotherapy is hard, they got help at the end from the Irish cancer society.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help.
Its a terrible thing for ye all to deal with.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies.
Saw her yesterday and couldn't get over the change in her from the day before. She was in excellent mood, had more energy, was laughing and everthing. Compared to the day before when she seemed so ill and down. I guess she will get good days and bad days, but honestly it was like two different people.

I guess what is annoying me is we haven't had the chance to talk to anyone, we don't know how far the cancer is, where exactly is is along with the lungs, what stage, how long we have etc. All we were told (over the phone) was its terminal and she will get three stages of chemo.

To be honest, there never was the question of her doing chemo, it was just the next step for her. I suppose it is something we should consider but I don't think she is strong enough to say no to it. She'd do anything she can to get more time. Prehaps I'll talk to the others and see what they think. I do know though that she will want to do it but prehaps we should talk about it to her more so she understands. All shes worried about is loosing her hair, the poor thing.

Crying here writing this and just thinking whats ahead. Thanks for the support and messages everyone! Will for sure try and get in contact with the hospital and more support groups.

CathyMoran

This is a tough one - I lost my wonderful mother in law to this just over a year ago. She took every chemo treatment going and got a few years as well as a few weddings and grandchildren from that extra time. She only had a few bad weeks at the end.

I have personal experience of cancer, am a 7 year oesophageal cancer survivor, diagnosed when I was 32. I had the chemo - it was horrific for my then partner now husband but I remember very little. I do not regret it. i then had the surgery which I do not regret but that was harder as it affects my day to day life but I am grateful to be here and am loving being a mummy to my 2 and 3 year olds.

The Irish Cancer Society are wonderful.