how to get over the mother of your child

LegacyUser

Hi



I would like opninions and ideas on how to get over me ex.



We were together for 2.5 years and had a child together but ultimately our relationship deterierated and we split over 14 months ago.

Thing is i still have feelings for her and i see her every weekend when i pick up our child which jsut makes it worse.I know she doesnt feel that way about me anymore and i keep telling myself to stop being an eejit and get over it, i look at myself as if a friend was in my situation and what i would advise him

Does anyone have any opinions on how to get over her and get past this...i cant cut her out totally as we have a child,iv tried going on dates but as im not over here i find it unfair on them and end it after one or two..i try to dig myself into work but i always end up thinking about her when i get home and am on my own with my thoughts

Thanks in advance

Tokyo

Hi OP,

I think that it's a difficult situation, because whatever about your situation now, there was a time where you loved this person very much, and unlike other situations where you can diminish the hurt of a break-up by putting some distance between yourself and this person, by virtue of the fact that you have a child together, your livesa re intertwined for better or for worse.

I understand that the situation is difficult, and in a lot of ways there is a grieving process involved, but the focus for you really has to be on your child. Focusing on the fact that your child having two parents that are amicable with each other may help you pull your feelings together somewhat and move forward.

I think it's natural to be curious about what's going on in your ex's life, especially if you still have feelings for her. And the fact that you recognise that you can't continue down this path is the first step in the right direction. If you don't feel comfortable getting back into the dating scene just yet, that's understandable, you don't have to jump back in the saddle just to force yourself through your breakup, so stay away from it for now. But there are plenty of other things to do to - take up a sport, join a gym, spend some time with old friends, take a night course etc. Occupy your time, it'll give you less opportunity to dwell on the "what if's" with your ex, and it allows you to expand your social circle and meet other people.

One thing you may not have considered - you're also going to have to accept the fact that your ex will probably start dating again too, and that will feel strange, and might drag up old feelings. You can't change the fact that she will eventually start seeing someone else, but again, the only thing you can do is make your child the focus of everything that's happening, and take the situation with your ex one day at a time.

Good luck.

clairefontaine

It's really hard to get over someone when you are in constant contact with them, and when you have a child with them, you rarely have much of a choice about it.

So, this might sound cold and it's not meant to, but treat it like a long term illness, something you will just have to manage, keep at bay, utilise pain management, and not let it get in the way of the bigger picture.

They say time heals all, but when the wound is always tickled, this is not always possible.

cletus van damme

i'm lucky in that I think my ex is a nasty piece of work

however you need to go out and put yourself about a bit social go on a few dates meeting women with or without commitment.
After a while you'll soon move on - as your attention is elsewhere.