"Friend" slagging me over college choice!

Hollister11

I have a friend and while we have drifted apart since fourth year we still talk.
He keeps slagging me over the fact in going to the national college of Ireland. The course I picked is something I dream if doing and because it's 200 or odd points he makes it out like it's an awful course. He will get into trinity or one if the top colleges no problem but I hate school and hate doing 4/5 subjects I struggle at. This course is perfect for me.

He was saying to me in a sarcastic way recently "have you seen it" implying its a s***h**e. I was at the open day and me and my parents taught it was a beautiful modern college and I really enjoyed the tour and the college IMO looks great. The people are so courtious and helpful.

It's just I can't wait to leave school and do this course and every time we walk about college he puts my choice down and treats it like s€!t just because I can't get into the said ""top colleges

Any advice ?
Thanks

Tokyo

Yep, tell your friend to <insert expletive here> off.

It's your future, and you decide whats best for you in terms of where you want to be and the courses you want to take, nobody else. You've found the course that is perfect for you - most people aren't so lucky. TBH, if all your friend can do is crap down on top of your choice of college because he's going to get into Trinity, then he's not much of a friend to begin with.

Live your life the way you want. Let him live his.

stop animal cruelty

Never mind that twat! At the end of the day, it doesnt matter what you study or work at, as long as your happy...your winning! Just cause he might be going to Trinity makes him no good or better person than you...plus a real friend wouldnt look down on you, let him off!

The Red Shoes

You think it's a good college, you'll be happy there, so don't worry what he thinks. He could be doing it because (a) he genuinely thinks that one of the other colleges would be better for you and that you're selling yourself short, (b)he's delighted with himself being so fab getting into what he thinks are better colleges and is rubbing it in because it would bother him, thus he assumes it would bother you, (c) he's jealous you've found something that you're so happy about or (d) something else entirely. What they all have in common is this being his issue not yours, so you shouldn't let it bother you.

Next time he says anything derogatory just firmly tell him that you appreciate his concern but you're as happy as a pig in the proverbial about going there and anything other than positive comments from him about it are not welcome. Then if he does it again just cut him off with an "Ah, here we go again!" or something to that effect that makes it clear you think it's his issue but aren't interested in getting into it.

Congratulations on finding something you're excited about studying at college. So many people don't know what they want to do so just pick courses for the sake of it. Best of luck with NCI!

Big Bag of Chips

Hollister11 wrote: »

... and every time we walk about college he puts my choice down and treats it like s€!t...

So stop talking about college to him. Tell him you know his opinion. You've heard it, and you don't need to keep hearing it. Then change the subject or start talking to someone else. He'll soon cop onto himself.

ABajaninCork

Are you happy with your choice? That's all that counts.

Sounds like your mate's insecure to me. Tell him to sugar off and carry on with what you're doing.

hfallada

I'm a first year in college atm and believe me you don't speak to 95% of people you called friends in school. You generally aren't friends with them because you like them. But because you have no choice.

Do what makes you happy and **** him. You probably will never speak to him after school anyway. I have a friend in college who can't stand one of his friends from school now. Sometimes new friends make you realise how ****ty your old ones were

Neyite

I heard a great phrase somewhere on boards, and its so true: do a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

Most of us fall into our jobs by default - we either go to college and end up realising that its very different from what we initially picked, then you get a job in it because that is all you are qualified to do, and ye know, its grand, it pays the bills. But as time goes on, you get a bit bored, maybe progression in that particular field means doing more of the mundane stuff that is a bore to you. But now you have a mortgage, or kids, or are saving for a wedding so you cant exactly retrain, and if you do, you'll reenter the market as a graduate on low pay again...

Some of us are lucky - we know what we want to do with our lives, with our careers, and choose what we love. You are in that category. You have chosen a course that you are passionate about. He sounds like a bit of a sheep to be honest.

Next time, just tell him he sounds like a snob. Thousands have succeeded despite not having a Trinity degree.

Hollister11

OP Here
I just want to say thanks to everyone for helping me realize that his opinion is irrelevant. The course I do will lead me to my dream job. I just hope he stops bickering in about him thinking he's above me because if a points system
Thanks again

AlbionCat

Hi OP,
So glad you realise that it is YOUR choice and that his opinion does not really matter in the long run. It is your course and your career you are working for.

However if you want him to stop bickering it, you may have to mention / say something to him. Sometimes good friends can be right muppets and dont always realise that something they say hurts a close friend. You may actually have to say something to him, in order for him to stop saying these things, rather than either a) wait for him to stop bickering at you or b) you loose your temper and/or friendship.

It is the delivery of what you want to say that makes the difference to keeping a friendship. i.e.

Wait till he says something and just politely pull him to one side. say something like

"Hey Fred/Bob/Muppet friend of mine. This is a course I want to do and the place I want to do it. It is my career. I am not bitching where you are going, am I?" - and leave it at that. Additional sarcasm from you might lead to a loss of friendship.

On the other hand if he really is being a complete wazzock about this and you dont value the friendship - say the same thing, but end with the line "shut the F*** up about it and Bu***r off". And walk away - if he goes to trinity or somewhere else you wont see him much anyway.

Just googled College of Ireland - wow. First of all I think it has a cool name (but that is just me and I am not from ireland) and it looks like a really lovely place. Secondly - I am a teensy bit jealous of you going there in the first place. Good luck with your future - and remember you get out what you put in to lifes experience.

Banjoxed

This braying idiot is not your friend. In fact, anyone who attempts to invalidate your valid choices is a tosseur and should be ignored.

skooterblue2

Your friend is clearly an Ass!!!
Remember what primary school you went to? No, why? cos noone cares!!! Yes it would be nice to go to these colleges. At the end of the day, when you are in an interview all an employer will care about is where you last worked, what they said about you and can you do or be trained to do the job required of you.

There is one warning I would give you. It is the last thing you look for and it is the most important. Certification. A friend of mine got her certification in accountancy (not a degree and got it in an Irish college certified by an English college). She didnt even get interviews. She wasted 3 years chasing a bit of paper that wouldnt get her even an interview. She then had to another 4 years to get an honours degree in accountancy. She didnt even get credits for her first diploma. There is nothing wrong with stepping stones. Go back and consult someone in the industry and ask them if they would employ someone with this certification.

Remember in the computer industry its not about where you studied its what experience you have in the field and your professional Certification (Cisco, MS. Unix, etc). In five years out in the field, interviews will be like "Tell us how you would deal with a problem ....", "We are thinking of buying new technology, how would you implement it". Your college will be barely acknowledged.

When you get to college, hit the ground running. Get your exams, get your work placement. Dont focus on where you came from, focus on where you are going. In three years you will struggle to remember his name. Dont believe me? A guy who made fun of me in school for 4 years, told me he was going to be a doctor or lawyer ..... met him after 20 years .... cos he was such a %^& he never got a job in his field or one that lasted long. He is still stuck in the 20 something rut at nearly 40. Dont waste your time trying to please someone who isnt your friend.

jane82

The pc thing to do here is tell you to ignore him, get a new friend or some other silly idea.
Every person has something you can make fun of them about. He is slagging you about the college. Friends do this provided you dont go too far you should just slag him back.

EazyD

Can I ask are you doing computer science/business computing? Because if that's the case no doubt you'll be having the last laugh when you graduate, it's a highly desirable field to be in at the moment and NCI are at the top of the pile in this area.

I'm in DIT myself but were I to do it again I'd probably go the direction above. My girlfriend did and she's doing extremely well for herself. And as other posters have stated this person probably isn't a friend, more like an ego-hungry acquaintance with no concept of the real world. Good luck with it:)

Eric Cartman

Hollister11 wrote: »

I have a friend and while we have drifted apart since fourth year we still talk.
He keeps slagging me over the fact in going to the national college of Ireland. The course I picked is something I dream if doing and because it's 200 or odd points he makes it out like it's an awful course. He will get into trinity or one if the top colleges no problem but I hate school and hate doing 4/5 subjects I struggle at. This course is perfect for me.

He was saying to me in a sarcastic way recently "have you seen it" implying its a s***h**e. I was at the open day and me and my parents taught it was a beautiful modern college and I really enjoyed the tour and the college IMO looks great. The people are so courtious and helpful.

It's just I can't wait to leave school and do this course and every time we walk about college he puts my choice down and treats it like s€!t just because I can't get into the said ""top colleges

Any advice ?
Thanks

he certainly has the attitude for it, OP ignore this lad, nothing wrong with NCI , and youll make new friends there anyway.

ivytwine

Put it this way OP.

I have a degree and Masters from two of the top universities in the country.

And I have found it impossible to get a job.

I am thinking of actually going to the NCI or maybe one of the ITs to do a part-time course, to make myself more employable.

It's far more about what you do in college than where you do it. The uni I did my Masters was founded in 18something and has a long history but my course was crap. I'd have been better in DCU or DIT.

It's also all about your attitude, you sound mature and copped on, I think you'll go far. Your 'friend' on the other hand...

FollatonWood

He's going to Trinity because he doesn't have a clue what he wants to do and thinks it's what he 'should do'. You however, know exactly what you want and how to get it. I think I know who'll come out the winner here OP

LegacyUser

OP I've been there - I went to a PLC college from secondary school because it had the best reputation for what I wanted to do (animation). For the first year I'd meet people from my secondary school on the train home at the weekend and they'd ask where I was going and when I told them they'd make a face and ask if I'd failed my leaving. It was waters off a ducks back as far as I was concerned as I was doing something I loved while most of them went to the likes of Trinty and ended up changing majors or dropping out. Don't get me wrong Trinty has good courses but you should go there because you want to go there and because you or more likely mummy and daddy want to tell people your going there. So many rush into a course without thinking and either wind up stuck doing something they don't like or starting over when they figure out what it is they do want. Consider yourself lucky you've already figured that out.

FlashD

ivytwine wrote: »

Put it this way OP.

I have a degree and Masters from two of the top universities in the country.

And I have found it impossible to get a job.

I am thinking of actually going to the NCI or maybe one of the ITs to do a part-time course, to make myself more employable.

It's far more about what you do in college than where you do it. The uni I did my Masters was founded in 18something and has a long history but my course was crap. I'd have been better in DCU or DIT.

I am sure your courses weren't 'crap'. Degrees and masters are there to provide education in a field which interest you, they are a great way to gain knowledge and kick start a career ...but they don't teach skills how to get your initial foot into an industry, which is fine because that is not their purpose. Some sound bites to consider...

Professional experience and confidence are the traits which make you employable, these can't be faked and only come with time (years) and maturity (age).

There will always be someone who wants something 100 times more than you. You need to ask yourself the questions, how much do I want it? ...and what am I prepared to do to get it? The days of walking into fully paid employment based on degrees and masters are gone. You are going to have to start like everyone else, building experience.

You should consider seeing a career coach to hone your CV, interview and job research skills as well as potential career pathways. This may be far more beneficial than starting another course which IMO is going around in circles. Your education is finished, its time to start putting it to some use.

ivytwine wrote: »

I think you'll go far. Your 'friend' on the other hand...

You would think that, because that would be some form of justice, right? With 20 years life and work experience, career success and everything else most certainly dosen't work like that. Some work it out early, some later, some never. That's life!

Hollister11

EazyD wrote: »

Can I ask are you doing computer science/business computing? Because if that's the case no doubt you'll be having the last laugh when you graduate, it's a highly desirable field to be in at the moment and NCI are at the top of the pile in this area.

I'm in DIT myself but were I to do it again I'd probably go the direction above. My girlfriend did and she's doing extremely well for herself. And as other posters have stated this person probably isn't a friend, more like an ego-hungry acquaintance with no concept of the real world. Good luck with it:)

Thai post makes we feel better as I'm doing a computer course.
I certainly nope I have the last laugh.
"Next Bull Gates" )))))

ViveLaVie

On the flip side, I have a Master's from Trinity OP and I'm still a student atm but I can guarantee next year I won't have a job. On the other hand, a good friend who did Hotel Management in an I.T. has a brilliant job and is earning much more than I will be for the next few years.

Victor

Hollister11 wrote: »

I have a friend

Do you mean "friend" or "someone you know from school"?

I was at the open day and me and my parents taught it was a beautiful modern college and I really enjoyed the tour and the college IMO looks great. The people are so courtious and helpful.

The building and fleeting politeness means nothing. You want a qualification, so academics and supports are what you need to look at.

ivytwine

FlashD wrote: »

I am sure your courses weren't 'crap'. Degrees and masters are there to provide education in a field which interest you, they are a great way to gain knowledge and kick start a career ...but they don't teach skills how to get your initial foot into an industry, which is fine because that is not their purpose. Some sound bites to consider...

Professional experience and confidence are the traits which make you employable, these can't be faked and only come with time (years) and maturity (age).

There will always be someone who wants something 100 times more than you. You need to ask yourself the questions, how much do I want it? ...and what am I prepared to do to get it? The days of walking into fully paid employment based on degrees and masters are gone. You are going to have to start like everyone else, building experience.

You should consider seeing a career coach to hone your CV, interview and job research skills as well as potential career pathways. This may be far more beneficial than starting another course which IMO is going around in circles. Your education is finished, its time to start putting it to some use.


You would think that, because that would be some form of justice, right? With 20 years life and work experience, career success and everything else most certainly dosen't work like that. Some work it out early, some later, some never. That's life!

No, my course was actually crap. We, as a class, brought it to the academic board and got half our fees back. It was solid gold rubbish.

I'm well aware of what you point out, however I would like to retrain in another area with more employment opportunities. I was pointing out to the OP that the type of college you attend means nothing- it's all about as you say, life experience and maturity and other things.

I have experience outside and inside my field and I am currently employed. I chose a dead industry, that's all. I'd like to get out of it.

This is all irrelevant to the OP, but I do think their 'mate' will be laughing out of the other side of his face when the OP has a well paying IT job. Nothing at all wrong with the NCI.

sopretty

They sound like an insufferable bore. Snobbery is alive and well it appears! Bet you they're going to study politics or THE LAW? Or bejaypers, could it be the medicine - to become a doctor like?
Best of luck to you OP in your chosen career. I hope you thrive.

LegacyUser

Your so called friend sounds very immature.
He may think he is great putting down high points course in Trinity but he may not get them. Also he could be doing a course because his parents want him to do it.
In 12 months time he could be in a course he hates, not coping with the work load and he could fail his first year exams.

Meanwhile you know what type of course suits you and your applying for the course you want. Not every one can get a 500 point plus leaving cert. I know that if you are doing a course you like you won't mind working hard to get your exams.

I left school over 20 years ago. I know some people like your friend who would have be regarded as bright in secondary school. I would have met them 10 to 15 years later to find out they failed in college or ended up in a dead end job.

A few years ago a friend of mine was planning to do a good course in one of the IT's. One of her relations said to her why would you study there when you could get into ///.
My friend told her that the IT course give her better qualifications long term than the so called great course she mentioned. This girl now has a great job.

LUPE

The sound advice is to not take it to heart, as long as you're happy that's all that matters. Either have a bit of banter back with him about something else when he brings it up or just tell him once to get over it, your decision etc...

I would not follow the tone of the majority of the people in here which is taking a sneering at your friend. Bizarre that people in here who know neither of you are suggesting he will fail, you will not end up speaking anymore, you'll end up forgetting his name etc... You're both 17/18... He'll probably grow out of the childish stuff soon enough

jon1981

A company I used to work for (Software company) used to take grads from one specific University, last year they decided to open it up to IT's including NCI. Of the 10 grads they hired, 8 of them were not from the University they normally pulled from...

Needless to say the course director of the University in question was not impressed by the "slip in standards" in their eyes.

It really comes to down to different education methods, I did engineering in DIT while friends did it in Trinity. In their eyes I seemed to have more experience or applicable knowledge when we left because the nature of their course in comparison was more theoretical (both still a BEng)...where as I thought they had a better campus (and slightly envious)

miss no stars

Oh he's picked up the Trinity attitude already. Loooovely.

Don't mind him.

If he starts and you want to knock a bit of wind out of his sails just outright ask him "do you consider us to be friends? Because friends don't ridicule each other; they're happy for each other. I consider us friends, but if you don't I'd rather know now"

freshpopcorn

Just try and mock him back about going to snobby place or try and come up with something. Try and not to take it to heart too much.
When I was in college there was always people from University's mocking people that went to ITs a lot of it was on messing but if you took it to heart you would have being upset.

D3PO

OP the world is full of idiots, just ignore this "friend" and feel good in the knowledge that with the course your doing and hard work on your behalf you will most likely land a good well paid job in IT.

As your one from the apprentice once said "daddy cant buy you cop on in trinity college" your friends an ass. Time to drop them.

Pawwed Rig

I did a 2 year course in NCI and am currently attending classes there as part of a professional qualification. An ex of mine also did her degree there. It is a nice college and it has everything you need. Excellent social scene with a smaller more homely population than the bigger places. Make sure you are there when signing up for the clubs and societies as they fill up quickly. If you like poker I believe they still do regular tournaments:D
It is centrally located too so if you live anywhere along the DART line there is easy access.

Enjoy your course mate:)

jcon1913

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Never mind that twat! At the end of the day, it doesnt matter what you study or work at, as long as your happy...your winning! Just cause he might be going to Trinity makes him no good or better person than you...plus a real friend wouldnt look down on you, let him off!

Some of biggest w****** I know went to Trinity - then come to think of it a few of the w******* went to UCD too...

He's prob feeling insecure about his own choice, maybe he know nobody inthe college he's going to. Best to keep him as a pal, maybe give him the dig that hes being a pain...

Big Bag of Chips

Ok everyone, I know people are posting to try to help the OP and make them feel better but generalisations are against the site rules. Be that generalisations based on gender, location or college attended. Not everyone who attends Trinity is a twat! Same way as not everyone who will attend NCI will be salt of the earth.

Next generalisation will result in moderator action.

Paddy Cow

Hollister11 wrote: »

OP Here
I just want to say thanks to everyone for helping me realize that his opinion is irrelevant. The course I do will lead me to my dream job.

That's the attitude to have. I am a mature student and I sorely wish I was like you when I was doing the Leaving Cert. Would have saved me ten years of crappy jobs I did to pay the bills!

Hollister11 wrote: »

I just hope he stops bickering in about him thinking he's above me because if a points system
Thanks again

Don't mind him. He is young and silly and will soon realise when he gets his degree and starts looking for work that no one cares if he went to Trinity. This is Ireland, not the US were top tier universities mean anything. This country is far too small for an elitist attitude to get you very far. Employers are far more interested in finding out if you have the knowledge to progress their company, than congratulating you on where you learned the knowledge

Stavro Mueller

If he starts up again, tell him you heard him the first time and to change the record. It's getting boring. I'd also question how much of a friend this lad is if he is behaving like this. I'd not lose too much sleep over him anyway. I have a feeling he'll be dropping off your radar once he goes on to college.

skooterblue2 wrote: »

...
There is one warning I would give you. It is the last thing you look for and it is the most important. Certification. A friend of mine got her certification in accountancy (not a degree and got it in an Irish college certified by an English college). She didn't even get interviews. She wasted 3 years chasing a bit of paper that wouldn't get her even an interview. She then had to another 4 years to get an honours degree in accountancy. She didn't even get credits for her first diploma. There is nothing wrong with stepping stones. Go back and consult someone in the industry and ask them if they would employ someone with this certification.

Remember in the computer industry its not about where you studied its what experience you have in the field and your professional Certification (Cisco, MS. Unix, etc). In five years out in the field, interviews will be like "Tell us how you would deal with a problem ....", "We are thinking of buying new technology, how would you implement it". Your college will be barely acknowledged.

I'm not suggesting for one moment that NCI doesn't have the correct certification but I have heard of certain private colleges where people have run into problems like what Skooterblue2 has outlined. Make sure that what you intend to study is going to give you what you need to get your career started. In the end, that counts far more than where you studied.

He's also right about the college you attended becoming increasingly insignificant as time goes on. For most interviewers, all it proves is that you had the brains to get into college and the commitment to follow the course through to the end.

Hollister11

OP Here.
He said it to me again today to which I replied "Just go f**k yourself, if that's how your going to treat a friend don't even acknowledge me thanks".
We haven't spoken since I said it this morning and I'm glad. I don't won't to be 'friends' with him anymore

sopretty

Hollister11 wrote: »

OP Here.
He said it to me again today to which I replied "Just go f**k yourself, if that's how your going to treat a friend don't even acknowledge me thanks".
We haven't spoken since I said it this morning and I'm glad. I don't won't to be 'friends' with him anymore

You were probably going to drift apart anyway Hollister. You've lost nothing. And. You've stood over your decision. Well done. Well done.

Hollister11

Hey OP here, just a small update..
CAO offers were out on Monday, I got my first choice in NCI and he didn't get any of the courses he applied for in Trinity, UCD or DCU.
After slagging of IT'S and smaller colleges he ended up in DIT .
I bet he is sick going there and just doing it because it's all he was offered

ABajaninCork

Congratulations, OP!!!Karma's a right biatch, isn't it?

freshpopcorn

Great to hear your happy and the issue is resolved! P.S Any chance he'll get a course in round two.

AlbionCat

He he he! Absolutely well done to you! Hope you have a great time on your course.

Rubberchikken

you have to follow your own road and do what you want to do in life. both colleges are great.
your friend could be worried and under pressure from home to do a brilliant LC, maybe he envies you your choice of course/college. anything could be driving his comments. you have to ignore them and get on with your choices.

best of luck in college:)

Neyite

Now its your chance to show that you are the better person OP. While its hugely tempting to get a dig in about his college, be the better friend than him and be supportive and encouraging for him. In other words, be a better friend to him than he was to you.

It could be that he is under lots of parental pressure and just parroting what they keep saying to him, and he might be getting a hard time of it at home now he is not going to Trinity. Some parents can be really tough on their kids.

cloudatlas

Congratulations O.P. Glad your 'friend' landed on his arse.

People seem to forget that the points race is about demand not about academic rigor indeed there are some courses in top universities that are not considered in the professional world to be the best course because of the way it is taught or the caliber of the professors.