A question about friendships

LegacyUser

There seems to be quite a few threads here lately about people feeling down about friends/social life etc.

So here goes another one - sorry! The advice given has been great and I definitely will/have already put some of it into action.

What I would like to ask though is this: do people think its ok to be fairly content without many friendships with the thought that yes they're important, and I hope to make more throughout my life, but for now I'm ok? Or should I be constantly on the quest to make more friends?

A little bit of background. I'm mid twenties. Have a good job and have always been very lucky with friends right up from childhood through college. But in the last year, and especially the last 6 months, I have lost/been phased out by two very good friends. I won't go into the details for anonominity sake but as far as I can gather two of these friends were both jealous/put out over two different things that happened for me that did not for them yet.

Obviously this hurt a lot and I kind of felt like I was dealt a double blow especially as these two friends wouldn't have been friends with each other so it wasnt a case of taking sides or anything. tbh though i definitely feel the first friendship ending was probably for the best due to issues we've had in the past. The other one though i totally didnt expect and initially tried to make/maintain contact and then just felt a bit pathetic so left it be.

So as such, I have a great and what I would consider a genuine, true friend who lives in Canada so unfortunately not ideal as we get to see each other yearly! a few I suppose acquaintances/people I could txt every now and then with but hard to pin down to actually meet up with. And then my sister who I feel so fortunate to have and would consider without doubt, my best friend.

I also have a fantastic bf. But tbh, lately I've been feeling almost like I'm different to everyone else as they seem to have actual good friends I suppose it's the first time in my life that I'm experiencing it too. As I said earlier tho I'm generally a very happy person.

Should I just try harder to make friends? Ps. Sorry for how long this ended up!

nc19

Howdidthishappen? wrote: »

There seems to be quite a few threads here lately about people feeling down about friends/social life etc.

So here goes another one - sorry! The advice given has been great and I definitely will/have already put some of it into action.

What I would like to ask though is this: do people think its ok to be fairly content without many friendships with the thought that yes they're important, and I hope to make more throughout my life, but for now I'm ok? Or should I be constantly on the quest to make more friends?

A little bit of background. I'm mid twenties. Have a good job and have always been very lucky with friends right up from childhood through college. But in the last year, and especially the last 6 months, I have lost/been phased out by two very good friends. I won't go into the details for anonominity sake but as far as I can gather two of these friends were both jealous/put out over two different things that happened for me that did not for them yet.

Obviously this hurt a lot and I kind of felt like I was dealt a double blow especially as these two friends wouldn't have been friends with each other so it wasnt a case of taking sides or anything. tbh though i definitely feel the first friendship ending was probably for the best due to issues we've had in the past. The other one though i totally didnt expect and initially tried to make/maintain contact and then just felt a bit pathetic so left it be.

So as such, I have a great and what I would consider a genuine, true friend who lives in Canada so unfortunately not ideal as we get to see each other yearly! a few I suppose acquaintances/people I could txt every now and then with but hard to pin down to actually meet up with. And then my sister who I feel so fortunate to have and would consider without doubt, my best friend.

I also have a fantastic bf. But tbh, lately I've been feeling almost like I'm different to everyone else as they seem to have actual good friends I suppose it's the first time in my life that I'm experiencing it too. As I said earlier tho I'm generally a very happy person.

Should I just try harder to make friends? Ps. Sorry for how long this ended up!

I am a little older and male but i know where you're coming from.

I have 1 good friend ive known 20yrs that i rarely see and thats it. Im fine with that. I have a busy job, a wife and a child so i wouldnt have a lot of time for friends anyway tbf.

I have a number of 'kindoffriends' - people i could call on in need but that i wouldnt have a whole lot in common with or history with.

I feel its all about quality over quantity

I should add that ib general i dislike people so my opinion may be slightly tainted!!!

In short - as long as you're happy who cares......

Addle

You think your former friends are jealous of you?
I have a former friend who puts the reason we're not friends anymore down to me being jealous of her. I'm not. I just realised that she's not a nice person and I have no respect for her.

Maybe you've just grown apart? No harm in that.

If you're happy without friendships, then you're happy. But if your relationship ends and you find yourself without friends, you probably won't be so happy.

JuliusCaesar

Friendships grow, mature and wane over time. The important thing is to HAVE friends. How many is up to you - do you prefer a small group of close friends or lots of acquaintances or a mix? What makes you happy?

It's good to be open to new friendships, whether it's through work or friends-of-friends or your activities/hobbies/pasttimes. Some of them will remain acquaintances, others may grow to be friends, and others will fade out of your life having made either a big impression or none at all.