dating woes

LegacyUser

So I meet this guy for a date from online dating. I did not want to initially as I told him he was hung up on ex. He assured me was not so we met. The date was great. A week later he said he was not ready for dating - it was too hard.

After a while I see him on dating site, I contacted him cos I like him. He tells me how was in a very dark place the last few weeks.Does not ask me on a date or anything but does ask for sex which I say no to... Another day he asks me and I agree but later cancel cos I actually like him. He tells me he had two other dates but in the end he says he made one up only after he was outed. He said he did not want to appear a loser.

Anyway he tells me he likes me and that perhaps it might go somewhere and perhaps this was bs or maybe he gen meant it. I just don't know. It became apparent he is nowhere near over his ex and even though she cheated for month's, he said he might take her back where as before he said not a hope in hell.

Anyway even by own admission, I got too attached to him. I don't know if ever liked me. Maybe, maybe not.He is so messed up and thinks his life is over. He texted me to apologize for asking that and was for the best it did not go ahead.I knew I would have got hurt if it did.

I would have wanted more whereas he would have just a ons no matter he said or was trying to convince both him and me. I just wish it was not so hard to trust men... I did text him a few texts and I told him I liked him. Big mistake:.. Just hope I never see him now.
Is online dating worth it?!

Tokyo

OP, please refrain from posting with txt spk in future, as per the forum charter, as it makes it very difficult for others to read, and thus assist you with your problem

I will edit your post this time, however, please post in a legible format in the future.

Regards,
Mike

Penny Tration

You had one encounter with a head wrecker, it doesn't mean online dating isn't worth it.

That said, you say yourself that you get too attached. If I read it correctly, you went on one date with him, and he managed to wind you up so much that you're asking for advice. If you get that attached, I'd stay away from online dating. It's all too easy to get attached to someone online before meeting and end up bitterly disappointed. Moreso if you get attached easily.

Merkin

I would find your level of intensity after just one date both astonishing and frightening. Getting so attached to people you barely know would be very off putting indeed so perhaps you should forget all about any type of dating for now and focus on your own issues. That way, when you are ready, you can take a more relaxed and balanced approach.

Idle Passerby

Your post is a bit confusing. Am I getting this right?

You went on one date and you were aware before it that he was still getting over his ex

After the date he said he wasnt ready for dating

You saw him back on the dating site a few weeks later

He didnt ask you out but asked you for no strings sex

He admitted he isnt over his ex and would like to get back with her

He then appologised for suggesting the sex

Is that the general gist? I dont know why you'd give him a seconds thought after all that rigmarole.

So this one guy was a dud. He is by no means the only one you'll meet while online dating. If this has bothered you to such an extent, maybe this medium isn't suited to you.

LegacyUser

yeah idle that is pretty much it apart from at d beg he told me he was over her and would not take her back if she came begging on hands and knees..

I'm fully aware I became too attached to this guy..I doubt there is no one here that has not done silly things at one stage or another when they have liked someone be it at 20, 30 or 40.

I have been doing the online dating for a while, been on loads of dates and know how it works but I did not follow the rules for this guy.


I think it is prob best to take a break from it now for a little while tho .Thanks for advice.

Idle Passerby

Personally I would take it as a rule of thumb that if someone you've just met is mentioning a recent ex and insisting they are over them they probably aren't and even if they actually are, proceed with caution.