Too Serious

LegacyUser

I am a 26 year old male who has a pretty abysmal success rate with women. Over the last few months I have been trying to widen my social circle by picking up new hobbies (adventurous sports).

Anyway I was away at the weekend with one of the clubs and I got talking to two girls who I was interested in but I realised that I am too serious when talking to them for example.

Girl A from Eastern Europe - She was a really attractive girl (way out of my league) but she was quite friendly, always had a smile on her face. All I talking to her about was work and two of her hobbies, all very business like conversations.

Girl B from Germany - While I liked her I am pretty sure she wasn't interested in me as she never smiled at me but I noticed she did when talking to other guys. I was just asking her about why she had come to Ireland, how she was finding it, what she did in university and her hobbies.

Neither girl really asked me questions so a pretty tell to tell sign they weren't interested in me, so I didnt bother trying to get their contact details.

My friends who are pretty good with getting with girls all seem to very witty and just take the piss out of the girls they chat to.

I don't have the same level of wit as my friends do, I am a lot more serious and when I try to be funny I normally fall flat on my face.

I feel that if I was more conversationalist / humorous I would have a better success rate and I was wondering how would I achieve this or am I wrong in thinking this?

roddney

t00serious wrote: »

I feel that if I was more conversationalist / humorous I would have a better success rate and I was wondering how would I achieve this or am I wrong in thinking this?

Honestly, you're way over thinking this. Was the same in my younger years.

You'd have a better success rate if you just chatted to more girls.

Keep trying, each weekend. Ask for numbers. Try for a snog. You'll feel your way into it. Actively look to be refused. If you're not refused you're in. Etc. etc.

loalae

Everybody has different strengths, your friends may be witty and outgoing but I'm sure you have some amazing qualities that they don't have. The trick is to learn what makes YOU great and play to those strengths. For example, the fact that you have the courage and confidence to try out new activities and to talk to women you don't know are definitely points in your favour. You just have to keep at talking to people to find out what you're comfortable with and to meet people who are your type of people.

For what it's worth, I personally find men who are a little quieter and serious more attractive than frivolous men.

Pawwed Rig

t00serious wrote: »

She was a really attractive girl (way out of my league) but she was quite friendly, always had a smile on her face.

This is a telling statement which shows you have low value for yourself. There is no such thing as leagues outside of Hollywood sit coms. If you get a girlfriend someday will she be happy to know that you settled with her because you couldn't find anyone better? There is a doomed relationship waiting to happen. Forget about what Hollywood tells you about leagues and try and enjoy the company of others.

Matteroffact

It's all practice. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" That's all there is to it.