No passions or 'interests' that consume me.

LegacyUser

As long as I can remember, it’s always bothered me I’ve never had a real interest or passion about anything. I have friends who have passions, like photography, writing poetry, blogging, making stuff and selling it, tag rugby, djing, cooking, baking or other stuff. Believe me, I have tried!

I like films, I like exploring places and writing/journaling. I feel incredibly boring. Last year challenged myself to do a new and different activity each week, and if I found anything I really loved, then I would stick with it. I gave the ones I enjoyed a good bit of time, but I feel a bit apathetic about it all, as none really were that great, even tho I threw myself into them open mindedly. I have just never had that ‘thing’ that excites me to think I can ‘do that thing’ in my free time.

It bugs me a lot, and sadly its impacting on my relationship as it’s like I’ve no passion and I fear my partner feels I’m dependant on them for ‘entertainment’. I’m not depressed or anything, just always been like this. But my free/alone time, gets boring as I don’t have anything to look forward to, plus I don’t think watching movies/staring at a screen etc is the best way to spend my free time.

Is this kinda normal tho or abnormal? Does everyone have a passion or a talent or a hobby that excites them? I had a discussion with a friend at the weekend about this and she said she feels similar, but her theory was that she’d like to focus her energies and times now on having and rearing a baby. One thing I do enjoy learning about IS the stuff related to the field I work in, and I’d much rather have something different! (my work is all around helping people/counselling/abuse etc so its heavy enough and I stop myself from picking up theory books at the weekend to read as it’s not a good habit.

I guess id love some guidance as I have already written the list of things I like, things ive tried and things i would like to try. Nothing of which gives me an ooh yeah cant wait!' feeling (have always been like this tho, even as a kid!). Am I weird and what do people do?

Overheal

So you like exploring and writing?

Seen the Life of Walter Mitty? He was one interesting cat.

LegacyUser

Nope, not yet.
I had a look online today for some activities and classes; so mnay for people who are unemployed, have mental health issues, are carers, young mums; Im lucky and have my health and a job, so please know I am not whinging, but it's trickier than I thought!

I like dancing, Im not much good but I dont let that stop me, I go as it's fun, its exercise and I enjoy it. Im hoping a spark will arise there!

I'm open to suggestons...I had thought about starting a blog based on this challenge last year to do one different thing/activity/class each week (done some funny stuff, still doing it but maybe one a month!) but then that's just sitting in front of a screen again, no?

Will watch Walter Mitty.

DoozerT6

OP, I am in the same boat. I don't seem to have any outside interests despite much navel-gazing as to what I might like. I feel like I should be doing 'something', as basically all of my time outside of work is my own.

The only thing I could suggest is volunteering?? How about giving some time to a charity, eg animals, homeless, the elderly, etc. I signed up to volunteer with a charity last year, but it didn't really work out for me in a practical sense, so I'm looking for something else to do this year.

Or how about some form of fitness regime? Bootcamp or Crossfit, something class-based so you have others to 'compete' with/spur you on to do better.

Flutterby80

I'm the same Op, I love to read/movies/walks but have always wished that there was something I was passionate about. I feel so boring sometimes! There's no point in forcing yourself to do something just for the sake of being able to say that you have a hobby, some of us just like the quiet life and there is no shame in that. Having said this I've recently started meditation classes and I'm thinking of volunteering with NALA as I find it very sad that there are people out there who are deprived of the pleasure of reading a book, maybe this is something you could consider too!

Semele

It sounds to me like you do have interest in and passion for your work OP, and that's as meaningful as anything else, if not more so!

You're in a similar-ish field of work to me and I can tell you my career area has long been a passion of mine, probably above anything else. I feel so privileged that I'm able to have such a meaningful, constantly challenging job in a field that interests me so much. Sure, I have other interests (reading etc, nothing that sounds wild and exciting!), but the last ten years or so have been defined by me getting education and experience towards my current job and that was every bit as much of a hobby in some ways than it was work.

For example, I used to do a lot of volunteer work, for experience and because I loved it (I used to do it on top of my slightly-related day job at the time and have travelled to interesting places as part of it). That's a valid interest and I found it was something that other people found interesting or impressive, much in the way that I'd look at their band or whatever, and think "God, he does loads!".

You hear a lot about the importance of working to live, not living to work, and I agree for the most part. However, not all jobs are the same and I think it's fair to say anything on the more vocational career side bridges the gap between work and passion. When I've had other jobs in the past, that were grand but not particularly fulfilling, I felt the need to do other things outside of work that felt more me. In this line of work however, I will be constantly learning and updating my skills, and that feels so fulfilling that I don't have that same need to find satisfaction/self-expression elsewhere.

If you love your job and are passionate about it, be proud of that and don't feel you need to define yourself through other things just for the sake of it. You know the saying "find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life"? That's how I feel! I don't go to work, I get to do my hobby every day and people pay me for it!:D

DoozerT6

That's a very good way of looking at it, Semele!

Overheal

Semele is actually quite right. There are a lot of hobbies I did as a kid that frankly I no longer do. Work provides a sense of purpose and commitment. Outside of work I usually just commit to other people, rarely am I want for things to do. The only exception to that was a spell on World of Warcraft where even there it was about filling in the niche roles nobody else wanted to do or was good at and I killed it. But I don't have time for such things, my life is enveloped in either work or college and in the future will be enveloped by work, work that I will be wanting to do, hence the degree.

P_1

Dude you seem to be quite happy and contented in something that pays the bills. To have a job that seems to inspire such passion is something that is not to be sniffed at. Maybe try to spin it as a passion that lets you enjoy life to the fullest by your own definition.

Now I am coming off a very interesting conversation with an anarchist but the statement of 'fcuk what other people think so long as you're happy and not hurting anyone else' was an oft repeated one in the conversation

littlelulu

I was in a group thing for work recently and had to do an ice breaker with the people nearest to me. One question was about hobbies or interests. We had 10 minutes to discuss the questions and I couldn't come up with anything when everyone else had something. It was at that point I wondered what the flip do I do everyday?? I got a bit worried about it but then decided that it had never bothered me before it had been asked so whatever i'm doing is making me happy. I just think some people are perfectly content to do the everyday things.

Actually what really gives me a kick every week is setting out the budget and saving! Thats like my drug.

I'm as dull as dishwater haha

LegacyUser

I am so relived to hear others experience, I was worried Id get an earful! I have volunteered in the past, so (and if you work in the field I work in you might understand?) I have found that giving of myself 40+hours a week can be difficult and I really need time to process stuff.

I love hearing about kids who have a passion for, I dont know, model aeroplanes, or dinosaurs, world of warcraft figures or whatever, as I think it's excellent to have an early start!

Im signed back up to dancing 1/2 a week (exercise, and social) and am gonna start a yoga class tonight, and then maybe trying to focus on educating myself on nutrition? I am grateful for ye not bashing me on the head as I feel so boring and silly sometimes!

zoobizoo

Go Deas wrote: »

I like films, I like exploring places and writing/journaling........ Last year challenged myself to do a new and different activity each week,

Does everyone have a passion or a talent or a hobby that excites them?

That sounds like you're an interesting person. I don't know anyone who has challenged themselves like that. Have you thought about writing a blog about it?

I know lots of people who have no major passion.

Here's a thing though - have you ever spoken to someone who has a great passion for something that you have no interest in and sat through another chat about said passion? (I'm talking here as I can bore people with my interests by talking non stop about them).

carzony

Same here. I have very little intrest in anything actually and I have to try really hard to keep motivated. People ask me about football, music, films, night clubs ect I always just nod the head and let on i'm intrested lol.

The one thing I like is cars and i'm a 20 year old male so I suppose that helps me. I'm only a student but really just keep to myself simply because i'v actually nothing to say......

Stavro Mueller

Maybe you're setting the bar too high for yourself? From what I can see, you have interests. You've said you like films, exploring places and writing/journaling. Your job interests you. That's not a bad start at all. In fact, you sound like the sort of person I'd love to sit down and have a natter with. Maybe you could start a blog on Wordpress or something and put some time into that? It may be a case of you accepting that you are who you are. Some people enjoy a quieter life and would rather go for a walk than a cookery class or dancing.

LegacyUser

Thank you all again.
I am processing all of this and looking at my lists of what I like and what I would like try. Ive also been thinking a lot about what one poster said that it's ok to have interests that are related to my work field, and interests don't need to be remotely different.And also that I might be setting the bar too high; I am surrounded by people who seem to either have passions that take up most of their free time (photography, kayaking, crafting) and I feel a bit crap that I dont have something that's my 'thing'.

I guess it comes down to what will I look back at in my life and will I be happy with what I have done, as another poster said, they spend their time meeting people, and I do that do, I guess maybe I am more someone who values and does that then my partner (who could easily spend eight hours on one activity!) but that's not me.

Well I have been inspired and will book mark this thread to inspire me when I feel a bit boring about it all!

FollatonWood

Hi OP!

I just wanted to pop my head in and say thank you. Your job/vocation is one of the most important areas of work anyone can have and to work in the caring profession takes a very strong, kind and admirable person. I think it's amazing that your passion for your work carries over to your past-times and there's nothing wrong with that - in fact I bet more people wish they had a job they enjoyed as much.

I do alot of writing as well and I set up an anon blog about 2 years ago not thinking anyone would read it. Fast forward to now and I have a great following and I've met some lovely people through it also - perhaps that's something you could do?

Best of luck with it all

Stavro Mueller

Maybe you're not temperamentally suited to having a hobby that consumes you like that? I know I'd soon grow to resent a hobby/interest that took up too much of my spare time. I treasure my down time and if it means I spend time staring into space or something equally meaningless, what of it?

borabora

OP I work in a similar area. The thing is with people that you never stop learning! It never stops being fascinating, and consuming. That's the beauty of it! And that constant drive to learn is a pretty all encompassing one, that spills over into every area of life. Personally, I've always though of myself as too lazy to apply myself to developing a hobby, and I frequently feel bad about it. But my work is my hobby, come to think of it!

A previous poster alluded to setting the bar too high, and I think there could be something in that. You sound like a high achiever that has something few enough people have, so give yourself a break and just try out some things you think you might enjoy, on a casual basis. People are different, and we can't be everything!

Thanks for starting this thread, I'm going to go and take my own advice!

sligoface

A book you might be interested in is called 'The Artist's Way', by Julia Cameron. It is a practical handbook that is about reigniting passions and talents you may have had at one point but pushed aside for whatever reason. We all have these things but we can allow them to be forgotten about for a variety of reasons. It has simple steps you can take each day, and it is actually just about writing and exploring, finding your niche, and getting your passions back and not putting yourself under pressure to do things perfectly straight away (as another poster said, setting the bar too high).

It helped me rediscover my artistic side which I had given up on when I had to work in other fields. I hadn't done any art for three years. I eventually went back to college for fine art, and have had my work featured in exhibitions. But the book is not geared towards just visual artists or any one area, the author is a screenwriter, it is about rediscovering what excites us and understanding why they are important to our happiness and what might have caused us to neglect or give up on things we loved or were good at. It's usually in stock at Easons, etc.

lazybones32

It is not weird or abnormal to have no consuming passion in life.
I am very much in the same boat as you but I work to cultivate interests. My profession is no way connected to my natural strengths or abilities but I get immense satisfaction from the challenges and rewards associated. I've tried so many different things in order to see if one could ignite an invigorating fire within me but, for me, it doesn't go like that. I'm beginning to understand that I need to fan the little sparks into a flame and add fuel to keep them burning, yet I'll never be consumed.

I think some of your problem comes from comparing yourself and your life to your friends and their lives. Their lives may seem more passionate/interesting/fulfilling than yours but this is only perception.