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Confused

  • 17-02-2014 2:10pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi All,

    Have been dating this guy on and off for the last two years or so. We have had many ups and down. Sometimes I think we are perfect together and then other times i have my doubts. Over the weekend he revealed in his teens that he kissed and messed around with another lad. I have never gave a second thought weather he was gay or not. But now my head is doing summer salts. I asked him straight out if he was gay/confused or bi and he say no. I would be fine either way just would like to be sure. I am thinking i must take him at his word, but still there is a little doubt now. Opinions appreciated. Again I would love him regardless of his orientation (upset but would accept it if he was gay), just wish I knew. PS both in our 30's. So happened very long time ago.

    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    Tokyo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,656 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    OP, for what it's worth, I think you are worrying over nothing. Many people are still trying to figure out their path in life when they are in their teens, your boyfriend is no different, and that alone for me at least, is no reason to assume that your boyfriend is gay. If it were me, I'd treat it like any other past relationship - it's somebody that he's kissed 15 to 20 years ago, and has no impact on what you have together now.

    Given your ups and downs, and your general uncertainty, it sounds like you have other issues in your relationship that you probably do need to sit down and talk about, and I'd recommend that you both do. But don't use what happened 20 years ago as a go-to excuse every time you feel something is wrong with your relationship. You're only kidding yourself if you do.


  • #3
    P. Breathnach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,089 ✭✭✭✭P. Breathnach


    I'd say he simply experimented, and found that it was not for him. As a result, he might be more sure of his sexual identity than a lot of other people are of theirs.


  • #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    It's apparently more common than you'd think OP, so let it go. It was a long time ago so it's safe to say he knows himself by now. No need for somersaults.

    Just don't bring it up in arguments since your relationship seems turbulent, it's in the past. Leave it there.


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