New job/interviews really getting me down and anxious

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

I have a bit of a problem thats really bothering me lately and I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else ever feels like this and what things might work for you...

Basically I finished in college last summer and I've just started in my first "proper" job in the career I am trained in. I'm about 2 months into the job so far but its only part time and its not actually in the company I want to be working in... but the main thing is I'm doing what I am trained to do and hopefully in the future I may be able to get to do this job with the company I really want to work in.

My problem is a mixture of a few things to be honest. The main thing is probably my lack of confidence. I am just so full of self doubt and really feel like I don't know what Im supposed to be doing. I'm working with children and one of my biggest challenges is working with their parents. I find that I get so nervous with some of them that I become a bumbling mess and am not able to communicate effectively,which only adds to my lack of confidence.
On paper I should know what I'm doing... I got a first class honours in my degree but for some reason I just cant get it to transfer to my real-life job.

This job is only part time, taking up maybe 2/3 days of my week but it is taking over my mind pretty much all week. I used to be able to sleep so well at night, but now I wake up every morning earlier than I need to and the first thing I think of is my job and the dread just hits my stomach straight away. Its literally always on my mind and I just permanently have this dread/butterfly feeling in my stomach.

I do have a supervisor and I run most things by her but for some reason when it comes to executing these plans I just struggle with my confidence and then forget what I want to say to parents etc.

I'm waking up feeling so sad every morning and at one point I wondered if perhaps I could have depression but to be honest its only work related. I'd never normally wake up feeling like this and I'm so happy in all other areas of my life. I've such an amazing family and boyfriend and I speak to him about this all the time and that does help a little but it doesnt really take away the nerves and dread either.
I can't understand how I can let my work life take over my personal life to this extent to the point where I'm just not happy at all anymore.

Sometimes I just want to give the job up altogether but to be honest I've put an awful lot of work into getting here so I dont want to just give it in now and regret it later on in life. I do still think its the right career for me... but I just think I need to get more experience and the more experience I get the more confident I'll become.... the trouble is this anxious feeling that I'm having in the meantime.

Another thing that's really bothering me is that I have some big interviews coming up soon (the company I really want to work with are creating panels to call people from if a job ever arises with them) and I am so terrified of interviews. For some reason I am really really REALLY bad at interviews.... ive never really done well in any interview so far. The job I'm in at the moment didnt actually require an interview and Ive only ever done 2/3 other interviews in the past that I really messed up badly.
For some reason I can't seem to think of relevant answers on the spot.... even to easy questions I just freeze. And even when I have time to think I really struggle to think of examples from my life that could apply to their questions.
I've been to 2 different people who work for recruitment companies who gave me mock interviews and advised me about having more confidence etc. but it hasn't helped me with the actual interviews. I've also tried things like asking them to repeat questions and asking them for a minute to think.... but when I do this I only panic even more in my head and end up really freaking out because their sitting waiting for me and I still can't think of an answer!

I always prepare answers to possible questions.... this is the only thing I can think of to do to combat this... but the problem is that they always think of difficult questions that I can't preempt....and then its a nightmare when they ask me and ive no answer.

Its just so annoying because i feel like all other areas of my life are so good and if I could somehow conquer my fear of interviews and not let my work life take over my personal life then I could be happy....

Gosh I hope this makes sense to someone.... either way it feels a little better having just got it all off my chest.

Thanks to anyone who can offer some advice

December2012

Hi,

I think when you get a job that you've worked a long time for, or finally achieved something you've worked really hard for, there can be an "oh foooook now I'm here what am I supposed to do / I'd better not mess this up - arrrrggghhhh I'm trying so hard not to mess this up that I'm messing this up!"

But it's not sustainable so here are some suggestions for how to help resolve this;-

1. Vigorous physical exercise - get out of your own head to give your brain some rest. I found that I had to stop worrying about work if I was holding weights over my head in the gym. The brain rest and the physical effects of exercise really helped me relax in work and focus.

2. Go talk to a career counsellor for interview help. Interviewing is a skill, maybe somebody on the Work Issues forum could help you.

3. Accept that you are in a mixed position - you have lots of academic skills to rely on which is great, but you're also learning how to do this on the job. That's okay, everybody starts somewhere.

Daily, take lots of deep breaths, drink water and if you have to - fake confidence until you feel confident.