No emotion after break up

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I have about a month out of a relationship of 3years. Is it normal not to feel sad at all after being with someone for such a significant amount of time? I don't feel anything. Little nervous I will bump in to him that's all. I have also been looking online and have a few dates lined up for next week. Sound like really great guys and I feel excited. I don't see it as a rebound if I am not sad about the breakup, but maybe it would look that way to them. Is this even normal!?

LegacyUser

This is difficult to say but although I am trying to meet up with guys I think I am just hoping I will meet a guy because I think I might be a lesbian.

ahnow

Hi op,
How do you feel about the possibility of being gay?
There is an LGBT forum on here, if you were interested in getting some support or advice? I wonder if maybe it would be a better idea for you to explore this a little further before seeing other guys. Being gay is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but it's all well and good someone else telling you this, you have to feel comfortable with it yourself. But maybe you should give yourself a chance to look at this a bit more? I think it's really brave that you've said this on here, I hope you find some support for yourself.

LegacyUser

Hi thanks for that,

I have never told anyone, I have no problem with other people being gay but I can't accept it for me.

Meauldsegosha

OP did you think you might be gay while in a relationship with your ex or is it just because you don't feel sad at the break? I'm not making light of your situation but your first two posts are unclear.

ahnow

Op, I almost feel like I don't have the right to say this to you because I haven't gone through what you're going through. But you knew enough what wasn't right for you to break up with someone after 3 years. Which does say something important about you, that you do care enough about yourself to know what's right for you and what isn't.
I do know that accepting who you are can take time, and it is a process, sometimes a very long process. You might not feel it at the moment, but being who you are can be okay, you can still have a good life for yourself, it just might not be exactly as you might have envisioned it, but it can still be great. From my own experience I have found that once you begin the accepting process, although it can be difficult, it becomes much less so over time, it lifts off in layers, and something that may have been impossible to even think about or accept before becomes natural over time without you even realising it. But the whole thing can be a process. If you can please reach out for some support because you really are not alone.

LegacyUser

Hi op here

I always knew I just always tried to convince myself I was straight or even bi but I know I am a lesbian. It's all I think of and it scares me. Maybe it is a process and my coming out if this relationship might be the start of it. I desperately want a man to prove I am not but I know it is not going to happen. I feel so guilty for not being truthful to myself, others like me would be ashamed of me. I called a support line tonight and it felt good to talk to someone and I said it out loud which was such a relief. Small steps but I feel better about it today than I did yesterday. Where I will go from here I don't know but the jumping from relationship to relationship has to stop.

December2012

Well done for phoning the support line.

You could ask a Moderator to move your post / close this thread and then post on the LGBT forum. I'm sure there are fantastic women and men on there who can help you from their own experience.

Overheal

Well that would explain your lack of feelings for the end of the relationship. Though I could say the same if any relationship transits on its own natural course. Happens rarely, but it happens, when two people mutually feel it's time.