Is it Normal?

aca2801

Hi,

I am 26 & realistically I have never had a proper boyfriend (nor not been full of it but I am not a complete minger). I got hurt in the past which caused me to ditch scumbags, go from a size 12 to 8 & this did lead to more choice but because i got burned in the past, I decided to focus on my career which I have invested alot of time in. I feel now I want to find someone but I dont know how. I seem to be totally out of the loop and I went on few dates but I just do not seem to connect with them. I want to find someone but I dont know how & tbh I dont want to do the internet dating scene. The funny thing is I have so many friends that are lads & some of them probaly think I am lesbian because i have no boyfriend. I suppose I would like to know does anyone have a story similar to mine and eventually how I suppose did you break the walls that you use to protect yourself.

I have two choices, break or build the wall further & i know I do not want to be single for the rest of my life. All my friends are loved up & i feel like the black sheep. I am not odd, am quite friendly & very chatty. I think i will find mr right in time but any advice anyone may have, please feel free to provide.

Thanks

dannyc31

hi OP this question has been asked so many times on this board, so that can answer your question straight away. you are completely normal.

although i would always say no-one should ever ask themselves that because there is no bass line for what is normal, only what we think is suppose to be a normal life based on what we see around us. that accepts that everyone including you is exactly the same which is just not true. everyone is different and everyone comes that point in life were they worry should they be with someone.

its actually due to what is your reality at a particular time i.e. all your friends are in relationships so you feel odd or out of place, but what if it were reversed and you were they only one in a relationship and all the girls were out every weekend having the craic and you were sitting in watching dvds with you're fella, you might very well be saying, should i be single and out enjoying life with the girls for a few more years.

anyway you're 26 very young, whats great is that you focused on your career, men tend to love ambitious intelligent career driven women who at least have something to say and dont just spend their life sitting on their backsides watching eastenders and waiting for mr. right to solve all their problems. so you have alot going for yourself.

put yourself out there a bit more next time you are in a bar and see a guy you fancy, let him know smile, eye him up etc and wait till he chats you up. you'll have no trouble meeting any guys once you give off a friendly positive vibe. its invisible to the naked eye but everyone can pick it up.

best of luck

Grayfoxy

aca2801 wrote: »

Hi,

I am 26 & realistically I have never had a proper boyfriend (nor not been full of it but I am not a complete minger). I got hurt in the past which caused me to ditch scumbags, go from a size 12 to 8 & this did lead to more choice but because i got burned in the past, I decided to focus on my career which I have invested alot of time in. I feel now I want to find someone but I dont know how. I seem to be totally out of the loop and I went on few dates but I just do not seem to connect with them. I want to find someone but I dont know how & tbh I dont want to do the internet dating scene. The funny thing is I have so many friends that are lads & some of them probaly think I am lesbian because i have no boyfriend. I suppose I would like to know does anyone have a story similar to mine and eventually how I suppose did you break the walls that you use to protect yourself.

I have two choices, break or build the wall further & i know I do not want to be single for the rest of my life. All my friends are loved up & i feel like the black sheep. I am not odd, am quite friendly & very chatty. I think i will find mr right in time but any advice anyone may have, please feel free to provide.

Thanks

Hey Op,

Personally I think it is very normal, I was burned very very badly during the summer, won't get into it, but I am slowly moving on.

Like you, I have built walls, I don't know if I will ever let someone in as close again, but as it stands, I have no interest in getting involved with someone for the foreseeable future.

One of my friends hit the nail on the head, she is in a similar boat, she said everything you get from a relationship, you can get from a close group of friends, spend time chilling, similar interests, having fun together, cuddles, the only thing missing is sex, but you can get that from people and one night stands if that's what you are into.

But to answer your question, yes, I think it is pretty normal.

aca2801

Thanks guys for the advice, really gave me a boost. you are right you can get everything from good friendships that you can get from a relationship. However, one night stands are not my sort of thing. Thanks