Should I Just Let It Go

benjy1000

Hi

Just looking for a bit of advice. Have been dating a girl for the last 2-3 months or so, been on around 10 dates or so and met some of her friends, stayed over at hers and vice versa a few times. Used to always text every few days and meet up every weekend , sometimes during the week aswell.

So anyway on a friday we would would usually make plans for the that night and so i started texting her but got no reply ,same again on the saturday night, eventually on the wednsday she got back to me saying the usual was busy speil! The next weekend i did not hear from her and so i sent her a msg saying basically if she didn't want to see me anymore, i would be disappointed but i would like to know one way or the other!

She came back to me and made no reference to the earlier text and just said the usual how are you and she is very busy bla bla bla. So that was over a week ago and have had no contact with her since, i assume it is now a dead duck but i think it is just lousy to do that to someone that way, surely i deserve an explanation or a thanks but no thanks at least, i could understand if it was only 1 or 2 dates but it was a lot more than that.

I guess i'm wondering what i did wrong as i thought things were going well but it now appears i was wrong. Should i just leave it and forget about it and move on? i guess if she wanted to she would have been in contact so i guess i already know the answer! but its just so annoying to be treated like that as i would never do something like that to someone but i suppose its all part of the dating game! Maybe i'm over-reacting and this is normal behaviour, i would like to hear people s view on it?? Cheers

CaraMay

Ring her!!! Texting is not suitable for conversations like that. It does sound like a dead duck though. So if you want to know more then call her but if you are happy to let it go just stop texting her.

m'lady

Yes I agree, ring her and ask her out straight what the story is. It sounds like she's either very busy or maybe playing head games. Personally I'd leave her be and see if she contacts you!

Merkin

She is behaving appallingly! It's really very ill mannered and not at all nice to ignore you and then dismiss a very straightforward question.

I don't think you are going to get anywhere by text so I'd phone her if I were you and ask her out straight. That's if she even has the decency to pick up but it doesn't sound good tbh.

Tokyo

Two possibilities...

1. She is genuinely busy, and just acts rude in general to people when she is busy. Just so happened to be you this time. I've known quite a few people like this in my time.
   
2. She is putting you on the long finger - doesn't quite want you out of the picture, but doesn't want a boyfriend wither, and wants you to be available should she be bored and wants a bit of company.

You're not going to find out either way until you actually speak to her. Forget texting for now - call her up and ask her if she wants to meet up for coffee or a drink. Her response will tell you a lot. If she hums and haws over it, and comes up with more excuses, then you pretty much have your answer, and move on. If she can meet you - great! Meet up, and have a chat about everything, her busy week etc, and perhaps figure out where you both are in this relationship.

Katgurl

Hi,

No I don't think it's normal, incredibly rude way to treat a person after a couple of months.

I also don't think you have anything to gain by phoning her - she's not bothered for whatever reason so it would be up to her to try to pick up the lines of communication (if you were still interested and without a decent explanation I wouldn't be).

I don't know why you think you did something wrong. The chances are you did nothing and that's why she's avoiding having a tough convo with you - she feels guilty because you're the innocent party.

Cut your losses and don't let her bad behaviour affect how you feel about yourself or even dating / relationships in general. There are still plenty of nice girls out there.

Geomy

Hi OP I was in a similar situation before Christmas and I had to walk away, it was up and down twowing and frowing...

Full of highs and lows.

Great when it was on her term's, but I felt I was always chasing and never knew where I was.

It's not supposed to be hard work, I find those type of situations a complete head fck.

Taking a break now from dating and sorting myself out, its probably the best thing I ever decided to do :-)

MugMugs

If she wanted to see you, then she would.

In fact, if you were in any way a blip on her radar, she'd at least have explained the story to you.

But she hasn't and she didn't so I'd just walk away frankly.

Lux23

Ring her! Texting is a difficult medium to get answers!

benjy1000

Thanks very much guys for the replies, im just going leave it be and delete the number and move on, i don't think im that bothered anymore, i deserve to be treated better and i am not going waste any more time thinking about it. Onwards and upwards!! Cheers again😊