Access court order help

burke027

Guys looking for some advice. In a nutshell I brought my ex the child's mother to court for the right to take my child and guardianship. I got that and I was given access to the child every fri to Sunday. Now at the time I was delighted with this but was hesitant because I do work weekends ect but I was told take this as your first step. So I did

Now a year and abit on I'm finding every weaken us aw awkward and I'm looking to change it. To let's say this week il take the child either wed thur and fri and the following weekend of fri sat and Sunday. So I can arrange my work around every second weekend. As i know my employer isn't really happy about it and due to the number of people leaving our work load has doubled.

So I applied to go back to court for a variation order to try organise the dates I've stated. Which will be hear the 23rd or march. The problem I'm having is recently I've had to rely on my family a awful lot when I had to work or was away with work. And I know there great and all but it's up to me. So I said to the mother of the child that this weekend I'm away with work fri till Monday and would I be able to take the child during the week point blank no was the response she cares to much about having her weekend partying. So basically I can't take the child this weekend I've given her notice to say I can't but she's saying she's gona report me for breaking the court order in which I looked for. So as I said I can't take the child what's the outcome going to be of breaking the court order. Are you allowed miss dates provided there's notice giving ect ect

Pat Mustard

Sounds like you need legal advice. Try the legal aid board or else a private solicitor.

burke027

The Mustard wrote: »

Sounds like you need legal advice. Try the legal aid board or else a private solicitor.

I have a soliciter but I'm looking for info for the weekend

burke027

Any body. Some one must have run into this problem plenty of times. I've looked for the access order a year ago I've had the child every weekend and now due to something I can't avoid this weekend I can't take the child offered to take him midweek she won't let me do that and I won't be able to take him the weekend what will happen to me I've given her notice ect ect some one please any advice at all my solicitor still hasn't got back to me
Please as u can tell I'm worried

maccydoodies

The court order is still valid and you will be breaking it but as you have applied for a variation and you have your date, I wouldnt worry too much about it. She can go to the district court office and make an application for a breach of access summons which would more than likely be held at the same time as your variation application. The judge should look at all the circumstances surrounding your facts and will try and come to a suitable arrangment to suit you, your ex and of course the child. Have you thought about the mediation process? Its free, quick and a hell of alot less stress on both parties.

banbhaaifric

You took your ex to court in order to secure a specific amount of access every week. You were granted that access. Until a variation order is granted, you are responsible for that child during your access times. The fact that it doesn't suit you is neither here nor there. Many single parents have to move heaven and earth to make child are arrangements, and this weekend that is what you will have to do.

And can I suggest that breaking the court order is not a good idea? No judge will look kindly on anyone who took someone to court for access and then broke the order.

Was there a reason mediation didn't happen the first time? The fact that you ended up in court might explain why your ex is unwilling to be flexible. And try to remember your child who is in the middle of all this conflict.

burke027

banbhaaifric wrote: »

You took your ex to court in order to secure a specific amount of access every week. You were granted that access. Until a variation order is granted, you are responsible for that child during your access times. The fact that it doesn't suit you is neither here nor there. Many single parents have to move heaven and earth to make child are arrangements, and this weekend that is what you will have to do.

And can I suggest that breaking the court order is not a good idea? No judge will look kindly on anyone who took someone to court for access and then broke the order.

Was there a reason mediation didn't happen the first time? The fact that you ended up in court might explain why your ex is unwilling to be flexible. And try to remember your child who is in the middle of all this conflict.

Let me start by saying mediation wouldn't work your correct she has bipolar and is the most unapproachable person ever never mind the fact that she is distroying my life in every single way. That is completly besides the point.
The fact remains that I can't take the child this weekend have offered to take him mid week which she refused I have applied for a variation order and that's before you consider that I have hand the child for every weekend in 58 weeks while she could go where she wanted wen she wanted now when I'm stuck look at the answers you's give me.

The systems wrong guys I do everything for that child but yet I'm the bad one.

stickybookmark

burke every weekend is a huge undertaking, I'm surprised you asked for that in the first place. Every second weekend plus a Wed night is the (kind-of) standard access arrangement. You definitely need to get that changed so you can have a life/possibly have a new relationship.

Your ex is being a stickler about this weekend but technically she's in the right so either you lean on relatives again or else you'll face criticism from both her and the judge when you have your hearing at the end of March.

If she's bipolar and difficult to deal with, I suggest you do whatever you need to do to take the child this weekend, otherwise there will be a fall out. I agree with banbhaifric, you shouldn't break the court order. Thing is if you break the court order you're setting a precedent and giving her licence to do the same. Has she ever broken the court order? if not then you definitely shouldn't!

Pro Hoc Vice

burke027 wrote: »

Let me start by saying mediation wouldn't work your correct she has bipolar and is the most unapproachable person ever never mind the fact that she is distroying my life in every single way. That is completly besides the point.
The fact remains that I can't take the child this weekend have offered to take him mid week which she refused I have applied for a variation order and that's before you consider that I have hand the child for every weekend in 58 weeks while she could go where she wanted wen she wanted now when I'm stuck look at the answers you's give me.

The systems wrong guys I do everything for that child but yet I'm the bad one.

WHile a break up is never easy and made even more so by mental illness, can I ask a question, if you happened to be the sole custodian of your child (say the ex was in prison) what would you do for the weekend?

burke027

infosys wrote: »

WHile a break up is never easy and made even more so by mental illness, can I ask a question, if you happened to be the sole custodian of your child (say the ex was in prison) what would you do for the weekend?

If I was the sole parent of the child and she was in prison I'd through a party. I tell u I'd ask my parents but as my dad is only coming back from a 6 month tour of duty I'm sure there might like some bonding time. So yes I've exhausted all other options. My point is 52 weekend I've had the child one weekend isn't to much to ask for is it

Stheno

burke027 wrote: »

If I was the sole parent of the child and she was in prison I'd through a party. I tell u I'd ask my parents but as my dad is only coming back from a 6 month tour of duty I'm sure there might like some bonding time. So yes I've exhausted all other options. My point is 52 weekend I've had the child one weekend isn't to much to ask for is it

It is if in court you agreed to every weekend tbh, you need to sort out this weekend and then get your date for a variation of access, you've no opt out here

Pro Hoc Vice

burke027 wrote: »

If I was the sole parent of the child and she was in prison I'd through a party. I tell u I'd ask my parents but as my dad is only coming back from a 6 month tour of duty I'm sure there might like some bonding time. So yes I've exhausted all other options. My point is 52 weekend I've had the child one weekend isn't to much to ask for is it

When you are asking the person who has cared for the child for the rest of the week it may or may not be. But you are the father it's you who are in this situation not me or any other posters to tell you how to sort out your life.

stickybookmark

burke027 wrote: »

If I was the sole parent of the child and she was in prison I'd through a party. I tell u I'd ask my parents but as my dad is only coming back from a 6 month tour of duty I'm sure there might like some bonding time. So yes I've exhausted all other options. My point is 52 weekend I've had the child one weekend isn't to much to ask for is it

Of course not if you were talking about 2 people with mutual respect for each other and a normal relationship. but that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about an all out war here, and every move has to be carefully considered in terms of the long-term ramifications.

you are in a situation where there is a court order in place, if you break it you're giving her ammunition to use against you for years to come. Is it really worth it? If she is bipolar and difficult as you describe, then it's probably not. Good luck with your new access court case. You should definitely try and get every 2nd weekend off so you can have a life.

Karede

You are not breaking the court order. The order is against your ex. With regard to "access" it is up to you whether you avail of it or not.

If the parent with primary custody stops you from taking the child on your "access" days they are breaking the court order.

Depending on the mood of the judge on the day they may vary it for you but they may also just tell you take it or leave it to what is already in place. It's an awful system.