Not getting on with a person

mary55

Hi

I have to spend a certain amount of time with a person each morning because we do some work together work in same place. Talk a bit but never will really be friends. But we still kind of know each other.
So was eating with another person in canteen one day she was in another table with a few other people. So she gets up from her seat comes to my table takes the seat beside and pushes it as far away towards the end of table from me as possible. Turns her head away and ignores me completely like as if she doesn't know me. Not really understanding this wasn't expecting a full blown conversation but like there is a thing called manners and not being rude.
Then meets me the next morning and just chats away. Not really getting this. It just upset me a bit and find it a bit odd.
Any opinions welcome

Est28

I don't chat with everyone at my workplace.

Some people I'm close with, others I'm acquaintances with so I speak to them on work matters but have nothing outside that, others I don't even actively work with on my projects and hardly know them.

I don't really see the issue, sounds like a mountain from a molehill.
Someone you don't really have any reason to talk to besides work issues, came and got a chair from the same table then went back to what they were doing??

Is it worth a second thought?

P. Breathnach

Have I got this right: she left the group that she was with, sat at the table where you were dining in company, and made no conversation with you?

I'd look first at why she left the other table. Perhaps something was said that upset her, or of which she disapproved. There was space available at your table.

As for not talking to you: perhaps she was upset and simply wished to be left alone; or perhaps she did not want to butt in on whatever conversation you were having.

I tend to look for the better interpretations before I consider the worse ones.

Tokyo

OP.... why do you care?


Sounds like a simple question, but I'm serious. She's a work colleague, not a friend. If there is odd behaviour, it is on her part, not yours. I wouldn't be wasting my time giving it a second thought, to be honest. If she wants to be your friend, she'll talk to you. If she doesn't, just get on with your job....

mary55

P. Breathnach wrote: »

Have I got this right: she left the group that she was with, sat at the table where you were dining in company, and made no conversation with you?
Yes this is correct

But it was just the fact she deliberately pushed the chair as far as could to the end of the table and turned her and totally ignored. I know we won't be friends im ok with that but just seemed so mean.
I know I should not care but am I just that sort of person who lets silly things get to them. I try not to give a damn but find it hard. Thanks anywa

Big Bag of Chips

You were in company. Maybe she didn't want to seem rude and just come over and plonk herself in the middle. You think her actions were rude, she might think she was making it perfectly obvious that she wasn't eavesdropping.

You seem to assume it was something to do with you. It probably wasn't. As P. Breathnach mentioned, maybe somebody at the other table said something to upset her. And as she was visibly upset she moved to the end of your table and turned her head away?

It could quite simply be ANYTHING. If the next day she acted as if nothing happened, then you should do the same. She might have been having an off day. You don't sound like you're all that fond of her anyway, so you shouldn't really be all that bothered about whether or not she's friendly to you.

username123

I'm not really sure I understand this. She was having lunch at a different table, then she came to your table, moved the chair far away and turned her head away? Not to be funny, but this sounds like something a 5 year old would do, or the family dog when he doesn't get his way. I mean, why on earth would YOU be concerned about someone behaving so oddly? Why would you even think it had anything to do with you? It sounds more like attention seeking at best and mental health issues at worst. I've worked with some weird people, I just maintained civility and distance.

December2012

You're being far too sensitive here.

Are you looking for things to take offence with, or is there some particular reason you are getting upset by this?

Ham Sambo

I wouldn't worry about it at all, as was said you both are work colleagues and not mates, just as a matter of interest why did she move from one table to your table considering her friends were all sitting at a different table

Typer Monkey

Why would you automatically assume this was about you? She might have just wanted some peace and quiet or been upset about something or needed to concentrate on something or something else entirely which didn't revolve around you. Your reaction is over sensitive and self absorbed.

Merkin

mary55 wrote: »

But it was just the fact she deliberately pushed the chair as far as could to the end of the table and turned her and totally ignored. I know we won't be friends im ok with that but just seemed so mean.

I think you've added two and two together and come up with seven. I don't think her behaviour had anything to do with you. You've acknowledged that you're not even friends and it seems like she was preoccupied or going about her business as usual and you've misconstrued it as some kind of personal slight. I see that you carpool in the mornings and later that day she was chatting away to you so I really think you're seeing an issue where there was none.

mary55

Ok thanks for Help I have thought about this far too much so I Will Forget about it. Thank you if this thread could b locked or deleted now please mods thanks.