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Why I nailed my scrotum to Red Square

gizmo555 · 2014-02-05 19:48:10

I had feared there would never be another Guardian headline to equal the loopiness of Casey Jenkins' "I am the vaginal knitter", but today (05/02/14) Petr Pavlensky does us guys proud in leading the way for male performance artists to also do excruciatingly inappropriate things with their genitalia. (This must surely also…

05-02-2014 7:48pm

#1

gizmo555

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I had feared there would never be another Guardian headline to equal the loopiness of Casey Jenkins' "I am the vaginal knitter", but today (05/02/14) Petr Pavlensky does us guys proud in leading the way for male performance artists to also do excruciatingly inappropriate things with their genitalia.

(This must surely also give the lie to the stereotype of women having greater tolerance for pain than men :eek:)

On a snowless but chilly afternoon early in the Moscow winter, a 29-year-old man with a gaunt, emaciated face stepped on to the vast expanse of Red Square. He made his way to a spot on the cobblestones not far from the marble mausoleum housing the waxy corpse of Vladimir Lenin, and began to undress. In less than a minute, he was naked.

A video taken using a handheld camera and posted online moments later shows tourists gawping as he sits on the ground. A police car arrives, and an officer orders the man to get up. But the man cannot get up – because he is attached to the icy cobbles with a single, long nail that is driven through his scrotum and into the stones below.

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#2 05-02-2014 7:50pm

JupiterKid

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Ouch!

***crosses legs***

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#3 05-02-2014 7:51pm

Terry1985

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The judge will crucify him.

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#4 05-02-2014 8:20pm

Conmaicne Mara

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That's one nail you don't want to miss with the hammer.

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#5 05-02-2014 8:22pm

Frosty McSnowballs

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Fcuking eeijit!

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#6 05-02-2014 8:25pm

RobbingBandit

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His tribute to the Nutcracker perhaps.

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#7 05-02-2014 8:50pm

Ficheall

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You could sort of sympathise with it as an act of a protest, but referring to it as "art" just makes him sound like a twat.

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#8 05-02-2014 8:57pm

jimgoose

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In Soviet Russia, you have country by the balls.

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#9 05-02-2014 8:59pm

moonshadow

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I'd say the cop pulled him off...

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#10 05-02-2014 8:59pm

Nodin

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gizmo555 wrote: »

I had feared there would never be another Guardian headline to equal the loopiness of Casey Jenkins' "I am the vaginal knitter", but today (05/02/14) Petr Pavlensky does us guys proud in leading the way for male performance artists to also do excruciatingly inappropriate things with their genitalia.

(This must surely also give the lie to the stereotype of women having greater tolerance for pain than men :eek:)

On a snowless but chilly afternoon early in the Moscow winter, a 29-year-old man with a gaunt, emaciated face stepped on to the vast expanse of Red Square. He made his way to a spot on the cobblestones not far from the marble mausoleum housing the waxy corpse of Vladimir Lenin, and began to undress. In less than a minute, he was naked.

A video taken using a handheld camera and posted online moments later shows tourists gawping as he sits on the ground. A police car arrives, and an officer orders the man to get up. But the man cannot get up – because he is attached to the icy cobbles with a single, long nail that is driven through his scrotum and into the stones below.

Call me an old fashioned bombs and shootings kind of guy but.....

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#11 05-02-2014 9:43pm

Stavros Murphy

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He's some ball banger. You'd need two be nuts to do that. The absolute sac.

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#12 05-02-2014 9:44pm

mikom

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An idea for this years santas strike force perhaps..........

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#13 05-02-2014 9:48pm

Stavros Murphy

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Why Woody?

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#14 05-02-2014 9:50pm

ninjasurfer1

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He's in for a long stretch when they take him away!!!

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#15 05-02-2014 10:20pm

Stavros Murphy

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I fear a spate of copy-cat protests. Ok, spate might be pushing it. I fear a copy-cat protest. Someone else might nail a ball-bag to the pavement. Hopefully the ball bag is Phil Hogan.

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#16 06-02-2014 8:34am

Annasopra

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mikom wrote: »

An idea for this years santas strike force perhaps..........

What did the mods ever do to you that you wanna nail their balls?

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
Terry Pratchet

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#17 06-02-2014 8:36am

Corkfeen

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mango salsa wrote: »

What did the mods ever do to you that you wanna nail their balls?

The money will come from the prison forum? :P

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#18 06-02-2014 8:46am

jimgoose

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Cue a spate of videos on Faecesbook of youngfellas nailing their balls to all kinds of ridiculous stuff. I call it... Saknominate.

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#19 06-02-2014 9:09am

tin79

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Seems like a nice lad. Well balanced.

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#20 06-02-2014 9:21am

Wibbs

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Russians, even their poncey performance artists are tough bastids.

Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.

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