guy goes of with other girls

LegacyUser

ive being kind of seeing this guy since the start of the new year, we text all day meet up every weekend etc but we both dont want anything too serious, so were not going out, but twice now on nights out he has went of with different girls, it really annoys me what should i do, he is messing with my head bigtime, as soon as a pretty girl comes along its like goodbye to me

Raminahobbin

He's out with you- not officially going out, but seeing you nonetheless- and he goes off with other women??

This is actually a good thing. He's showing you what an ass he is, nice and early, so you can bow out before you develop any proper feelings for him. It's totally not on- I don't care if you haven't set anything in stone with him, it implies a huge lack of respect for him to be doing that. Back away, turn, and run nice and fast, and consider this a lucky escape

crazygeryy

You said you both dont want anything to serious. What's your problem?

I think you are fooling yourself by saying neither of you want anything serious. You clearly want an exclusive relationship.

Typer Monkey

I think you should pick your self esteem up off the floor and refuse to be his fall-back sloppy seconds! Even if you only have a casual arrangement you are still being passed over for other girls he deems better looking or more interesting. And he's doing it right in your face :eek: Seriously OP, he has no respect for you or interest in you. You should hold out for someone who has

Raminahobbin

crazygeryy wrote: »

You said you both dont want anything to serious. What's your problem?

It's one thing being in a casual thing with someone and knowing they're dating others when you're not around, but it's serious bad form to be doing it right in your face. It's crass and disrespectful. If you're out with someone you're 'seeing', then you're out with THEM and not on the pull looking for someone else.

Big Bag of Chips

Are you out together on these night? or do you just happen to be out in the same place?

Either way, it's bothering you. So you have 2 options, tell him it bothers you and see what he says. Or end your casual thing now, as you obviously don't want to be that casual.

3DataModem

"I don't want anything too serious" seems to mean something different to you than it does to him.

Amazingly the solution to this is ... wait for it ... to talk to him and tell him how you feel.

LegacyUser

yeah we are together on these nights out he will disapear
saying his going to the bar or something and next thing there is a blonde hanging of him i know we have had a few fallings out over this and he just says nothing happened but i know for a fact that he was with a girl at a party we were both at, he is treating me like crap, but i cant seem to walk away, im not very confident but i have being told im a pretty girl and we get on very well so i cant see why he would want to go off with other girls yet he is always telling me he loves me

Big Bag of Chips

I think you're both confused about what is actually going on between you. If you are not going out, and you both don't want anything serious, why is he telling you he loves you? Do you say it back to him? I think you are a Friends-with-Benefits scenario for him, but if another offer comes along during the night he'll be off, because he knows you'll be there the next night, if nobody else is around.

This can work for some people, but it's obviously now what you want. Put an end to it now. Stop answering his calls/texts. Be "busy" the next time he asks you out. You don't have to "dump" him as such, but you don't have to go out with him either. You'll find someone else.

Tokyo

imnamed24 wrote: »

ive being kind of seeing this guy since the start of the new year

...we both dont want anything too serious, so were not going out...

....twice now on nights out he has went of with different girls....

...yet he is always telling me he loves me

I'm a bit confused....

Sounds like neither of you know what you want, and from the sounds of it have left your 'relationship' very open ended. In a lot of ways you sound like you've inadvertently given him free rein to do what he wants, and he's taking full advantage of it for now.

If you want an exclusive relationship, then tell him. If he says no, then move on?

beks101

The reason guys like this act like this (aside from the fact that he's a Grade A tool) is because they'll find a girl like you who has zero self esteem and will tolerate it.

If I was in the company of a man who I was dating - on any level - and he went off with another woman, I'd leave the bill on the table for him to sort out, walk out, delete his number and never respond to him again.

Then probably retrospectively laugh at how much of an arsebandit he was for assuming I'd stick around like some kind of idiot.

Where is your self worth woman? If someone disrespects you, the owness is on you to walk away and show that you will not tolerate that behaviour.

Seriously, treat this as a life lesson - some people will attempt to use you, bully you, disrespect you, belittle you, rob you etc at any stage throughout your life. Because some people are scumbags, pure and simple. The way you maintain your self confidence is by asserting yourself and putting distance between you and said scumbag.

Walk away. Find someone who appreciates you

Merkin

You're being totally dishonest with yourself and consequently putting up with absolutely appalling behaviour on foot of that.

"We both don't want anything too serious".

Really? Both of you agreed this? Because you either want a relationship with this man or you do not. To all intents and purposes you are actually dating. If you do not want a relationship and are scoring casually, a modicum of respect is still required and him going off with other girls in front of you just shows him to be a card-carrying douchebag. What kind of slimeball goes off and scores girls he meets at the bar when out with someone else? And while you continue to lie to both yourself and him, then this is what he will continue to do.

If you want a relationship, you need to be honest and speak up. BUT, in this instance, I would advise you to delete his number and have nothing more to do with him as he doesn't, on any level, sound like boyfriend material.

Maybe take some time out to work on your extremely low self esteem before getting involved with anyone again. We only tolerate the behaviour we think we deserve.

Grayfoxy

crazygeryy wrote: »

You said you both dont want anything to serious. What's your problem?

This

But that being said, out of courtesy, he should at least let you know that he thinks it is ok to go off with others if you are not together (so you know where you stand, if you don't like it, you can walk away, if you don't mind it, then great), and definitely NOT do it right in front of you.

Neyite

Not wanting anything serious does not mean that basic manners and respect for you as a person should go out the window.

Why does he do this? Because he knows the nights that he cant manage to pull, you will be there. Its hugely disrespectful.

So stop being there. If he disappears, dont give him a second chance, go home or meet someone else. Just tell him your arrangement is not working for you anymore when he comes sniffing around you the next time.

Legs.Eleven

imnamed24 wrote: »

yeah we are together on these nights out he will disapear
saying his going to the bar or something and next thing there is a blonde hanging of him i know we have had a few fallings out over this and he just says nothing happened but i know for a fact that he was with a girl at a party we were both at, he is treating me like crap, but i cant seem to walk away, im not very confident but i have being told im a pretty girl and we get on very well so i cant see why he would want to go off with other girls yet he is always telling me he loves me

You say you're not very confident and this is why you do this but ironically, this will knock any last bit of it you had out of you. You're in control of this situation and only you. You shouldn't let yourself be treated like this. Actions speak louder than words; you don't treat someone you love like this, OP. Tell him eff off.

Sponge25

imnamed24 wrote: »

ive being kind of seeing this guy since the start of the new year, we text all day meet up every weekend etc but we both dont want anything too serious, so were not going out, but twice now on nights out he has went of with different girls, it really annoys me what should i do, he is messing with my head bigtime, as soon as a pretty girl comes along its like goodbye to me

Well, cut all contact with him then. You're going to go trough some pain, it's normal. Talk with people and go for a walk etc. Just do things to feel better.

PinkCat86

sounds like he will hurt you and you will only feel lonely

aidan24326

Sorry if it sounds harsh but it seems you've allowed yourself to be his handy fall-back option. Even though you're not officially a couple, being out for the night together means he should still afford you a degree of respect.

If he was really into you or cared at all about your feelings he would at least have the good manners to not pull other girls right in front of you. He most certainly doesn't 'love' you, and unless you are content to be his easy lay then I'd be saying goodbye if I was you.

dissed doc

imnamed24 wrote: »

ive being kind of seeing this guy since the start of the new year, we text all day meet up every weekend etc but we both dont want anything too serious, so were not going out, but twice now on nights out he has went of with different girls, it really annoys me what should i do, he is messing with my head bigtime, as soon as a pretty girl comes along its like goodbye to me

I think it's pretty clear you want something more serious that involves exclusivity. Best option is to either discuss it with him, or else move on to someone who does want something serious.

PinkCat86

plenty of men out there, demand respect!

mary55

If u didn't mind Him going off with other people I suppose it wud b ok but u don't seem happy with it so talk to Him about it and if can see what he is doing is hurting you then maybe there cud b some hope it cud work. But if he can't see it then and he is hurting u maybe he is not worth it.

Big Bag of Chips

Mary55, txtspk is not allowed. Please take the time to type the full word, it makes it easier to read.

mary55

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Mary55, txtspk is not allowed. Please take the time to type the full word, it makes it easier to read.

Ok Sorry didn't realise