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Absolutley terrified...

  • 02-02-2014 8:42pm
    #1
    Oscars Mum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 83 ✭✭


    He doesn't love me anymore and is leaving soon.... i'm terrified for my future...2 kids, 1 with special needs and large mortgage... thankfully I work and will be financially OK (Scrapping by!) but I don't think I can do it... Its not what i want...


Comments

  • #2
    desbrook
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    Oscars Mum wrote: »
    He doesn't love me anymore and is leaving soon.... i'm terrified for my future...2 kids, 1 with special needs and large mortgage... thankfully I work and will be financially OK (Scrapping by!) but I don't think I can do it... Its not what i want...

    Sorry to hear. Though I was/am the male in a similar situation I do sympathize. My main advice is to be proactive rather than reactive . You'll help to alieviate your greatest enemy - worry. Worry won't solve anything, action will. Visit citizens info / a good family law solicitor. Do it this week!


  • #3
    sawdoubters
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭sawdoubters


    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/maintenance_orders_and_agreements.html


  • #4
    Oscars Mum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 83 ✭✭Oscars Mum


    Thanks, I am going to take action this week. I have arranged to speak to someone. He has told me he will leave when he's ready, which is very, very hard. I'm distraught and hes sitting watching a rugby match then off to the pub for the night. I can't take much more of this, yet I can't order him out.... How did we get here.....


  • #5
    Snowshower
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 88 ✭✭Snowshower


    Life has a habit of getting in the way sometimes for people, (sure it's happening all the time, not just you). At least you have a job and in time you will look back and realise how you had a lucky escape and will be able to lead a normal life. (He certainly doesn't sound like someone one would want to spend the rest of their life with).

    Take advice as posted above.

    Best of luck and keep strong, you will be fine.


  • #6
    Oscars Mum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 83 ✭✭Oscars Mum


    Thank you for the very thoughtful comments


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  • #7
    BeepBeep67
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,087 ✭✭✭BeepBeep67


    Only advice I would offer is try and put emotion to one side, take control of the situation and get on the front foot.
    Best of luck and talk to your trusted friends and family.


  • #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Oscars Mum wrote: »
    He doesn't love me anymore and is leaving soon.... i'm terrified for my future...2 kids, 1 with special needs and large mortgage... thankfully I work and will be financially OK (Scrapping by!) but I don't think I can do it... Its not what i want...

    I have been in your situation, though not with a special needs child and with only a small mortgage. I really feel for you. Being in limbo is very, very difficult. Especially when you feel that you have to hide your feelings from your children.

    Your husband will have to at least contribute maintenance for your children.

    Don't worry, you can do this. It won't be easy, though. Try to keep the children's interests uppermost - don't badmouth their father, for example, and try to be civil to him.

    Some day you will look back on it and be glad you aren't still in the relationship, and hopefully feel proud of yourself for making a life for you and your children.


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