Pretty blue :(

prettygirl9

A guy I was with for nearly a year has turned out to not be what I was led to believe...We fell in love
I believed all that he said
I never doubted him
But it turns out he didn't mean any of it
He was just looking for a free ride
He's now moved on to live with someone else and cut contact with me
I am devastated
I can't believe he is able to forget about me so quickly
From being in contact /seeing ea h other all the time to cutting contact completely 2 weeks ago
I am so lost and blue

Tokyo

Its a tough place to be OP, we've all been there at some stage. The only advice I can give you is the same advice that's been given to me in the past, and that I've passed along to others.

First and foremost, focus on yourself. Use the free time that you now have to spend time with friends, to get back into hobbies and interests that you probably slacked off on while you were in a relationship, and overall, count yourself lucky that his true colours shone through, and that it leaves you free to find a guy that you do deserve.

It's going to suck for a while, some days will be harder than others, but it will get easier as time passes. The guy doesn't seem worth looking back on tbh, so keep looking forward instead.

prettygirl9

Thanx mike
Time goes so slow
I am trying to fill it
But it's easier said than done
I wish I could turn my brain off
I feel so stupid for believing him
For thinking he meant what he said
For giving him chance after chance to step up and show me he did love me
Every time I tried to walk away he let me think we could work through it and I would fall for his lies and he let me down again and again ...
So why be upset now he's cut contact?
Cause my heart is broken
And I know now it was always a lie
And that hurts so badly cause I truly did love him

dellas1979

prettygirl9 wrote: »

For giving him chance after chance to step up and show me he did love me
Every time I tried to walk away he let me think we could work through it and I would fall for his lies and he let me down again and again ...

When you love someone, you want to see the best in them, and believe them, and sometimes, because of those feelings, too many chances are given and things are believed. So, you are none of the above. If anything, you are human. So dont be so hard on yourself.

But you must also learn when to throw in the towel, if its not working/youre not getting what you need, emotionally, and walk away. And no, its not easy and yes, it will hurt, but its better than dragging it all out.

prettygirl9

So for two weks he hasn't been in contact and ok I know I sent some bad txts asking questions about what he's actually doing .... And presuming some things

And then tonite he txts and asks why couldn't I send nice txt

I asked why couldn't you not move in with her

He disnt reply for ages (and as him being constantly on the phone was a big problem with us )- I said I didn't want a half conversation - and bye

He said he wanted to talk to me when I was nice - I said about what? I ended up ringing and his new bit of fluff just happened to burst out laughing....

So yet again he is making a fool out of me and laughing at me
Will I ever learn
I feel like I will never recover

Big Bag of Chips

prettygirl9, please stick to posting in one thread only. Starting a new thread continuing on the same topic instead of posting in your original thread will only lead to posters being confused.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, listen - you are hurt now. But you have to stop torturing yourself. He is living with someone else. He doesn't want to be with you. Stop sending him texts. Stop asking him for answers, that you probably don't really want to hear anyway. Stop putting yourself out there to be hurt by him.

Delete his number. Don't contact him. He might have meant all those things he said at the time, but there was never a guarantee that he was going to love you forever. People change. They fall out of love (much as they might try to ignore that feeling for a while) They meet new people. And they move on.

He was not the one for you. And the sooner you leave him now and concentrate on yourself, the quicker you will get over it.

Tokyo

OP, I'm probably going to give you some harsh advice here, all I can say is that it's honest advice, I hope you can appreciate that.

First off, you're in a **** situation, I appreciate that, I've been there.

However, your ex isn't the one making a fool of you anymore. You're doing that yourself. Whatever contact you had with him should have ended when he decided to leave you and move in with another woman. Instead, you're texting him, asking him what he's doing, he's toying with you, asking you to send nicer texts, you're texting back, then you're calling him hoping that he'll talk to you..... to be blunt, you're being laughed at over the phone because you are making a fool of yourself, and they both know it. Now you need to realise it too, and start moving on.

Your posts have an undertone of desperation in them, and you seem to be wallowing in self pity - asking for advice but not actually wanting to heed any of it. Feeling the loss, feeling hurt and betrayed, that's normal and expected, wallowing however only gets you so far, and it's time to snap out of it.

• You met a guy, fell for him.
• He turned out not to be the Prince Charming you thought he was.
• He ditched you to move in with another woman.
• He won't give you a clean break, and is toying with you over the phone.
• When you call, his new partner laughs at you over the phone.

Going on that list alone, he's not a guy you'd advise any of your friends to be with, so why would you be with him yourself?? Delete the number, start finding new things to do to fill the time, and start spending time with friends again. The 'recovering' will come one day at a time.

Hannibal Smith

Its only early days op. Nothing is going to heal this but time. Eventually you'll see the wood for the trees, but for now just look after yourself.

You'll probably find when you've looked back over your time eith this guy that it was all one sided? Things you did together were his hobbies? When someone is in something only for one thing they've an amazing ability to control and manipulate? Therefore think of something you enjoy doing that you haven't had a chance to do while you were with this guy and go do it. Call on friends family etc and start filling your time.

It hurts and it's a crap feeling and im sure you cant believe how it has all changed in such a short time. ..but it is this guys game playing that tricked you so don't beat yourself up.