Gf takes ages to get back to me

LegacyUser

Hi lads, small enough issue here but it's really beginning to knaw away at me.
Background, me and my girlfriend are seeing each other for around 8 months and I really do love her to bits, could really see a future with her, we have our arguments here and there and we both say and do stupid things now and then (pretty normal stuff)
There's one issue that I know is small and probably stupid but it's really beginning to get to me. Most times when I text her I'm left waiting anywhere from an hour to 5 hours before I get a reply! Now normally I wouldn't really care as she could be busy with college/work or something else but the thing is a lot of the time I know she has seen the message (use viber) and has been on Facebook long before I get any reply! This Is really beginning to make me feel like she really doesn't care that much about getting back to me.
As of right now I sent her a message at around 5.30 (which she asked me to send) and I still haven't heard a thing even though she's seen it and was on fb an hour ago.

Tbh she has never been a quick texter with me but it's recently starting to annoy me more and more, should I talk to her about it (have mentioned it before) or try to sort it out in my own head?

I know it's a small thing but as I said it's beginning to get on my nerves

loalae

Does she do the same with everyone else? If she does then that's obviously just the way she is.

If it really is such an issue for you then yeah tell her. Tell her why it bothers you too. Maybe she doesn't realise how much it bothers you and she may make more of an effort to reply in a more timely manner.

Personally though, I'd be wary of someone who was keeping tabs on me (like knowing when I was on facebook and expecting a reply as soon as I'd seen a message) and I would feel like he was trying to control me.

Big Bag of Chips

Do your messages require a response? Some people just aren't into texting. She asked you to send a text. What was the content, did the text need an answer? Or did you just want a one word reply, just so long as it was a reply.

If you want her or need her for something specific why not give her a quick ring instead? If she's in college you could ring her at lunch time.

People (even couples) don't need to be in constant or instant contact. If she's not a great texter then she's not a great texter.. it's not a requirement! If it is that important to you maybe you need to find another gf?

LegacyUser

loalae wrote: »

Does she do the same with everyone else? If she does then that's obviously just the way she is.

If it really is such an issue for you then yeah tell her. Tell her why it bothers you too. Maybe she doesn't realise how much it bothers you and she may make more of an effort to reply in a more timely manner.

Personally though, I'd be wary of someone who was keeping tabs on me (like knowing when I was on facebook and expecting a reply as soon as I'd seen a message) and I would feel like he was trying to control me.

she seems to get back to her friends a quicker than she would me to be honest but i dont really pay great attention to how quickly she texts other people so take that with a pich of salt

i dont keep tabs on her, i go on to my fb and as shes in my favorites she shows up when shes online or how long since shes been online, i dont actively seek out as to whether she is or isnt, and i dont expect an instant response, as i said she could be busy or whatever, it just makes me feel ****ty that my gf cant be bothered to text me back even if she isnt busy

LegacyUser

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Do your messages require a response? Some people just aren't into texting. She asked you to send a text. What was the content, did the text need an answer? Or did you just want a one word reply, just so long as it was a reply.

If you want her or need her for something specific why not give her a quick ring instead? If she's in college you could ring her at lunch time.

People (even couples) don't need to be in constant or instant contact. If she's not a great texter then she's not a great texter.. it's not a requirement! If it is that important to you maybe you need to find another gf?

we are in a ld relationship so i she asked me to text her when i got home safe, would have liked to know she got where she was going safe as well as she was also travelling

i do prefer calls tbh, this texting stuff drives me nuts might just call more and text less, and as i said i dont really need to be in instant or constant contact but its nice to know that she thinks about me every now and then

i love this girl im not going to end it because she doesnt text me quickly, minor issue really just one thats niggling at me

Tokyo

From the sounds of what you say, she's *never* been into texting back immediately, so it's not like she has suddenly changed her behaviour or anything. Honestly, I'd write it off to it being just the way she is. After all, you entered into the relationship knowing this about her and accepted it then, so what has changed?

Some people simply don't like being in constant contact - I"m one of them - and I'll often get a message and tell myself that I'll reply to it when I get home. She could simply be the same way.

Oryx

I see it as a symptom of the stresses of a ldr. You are not getting enough contact, so even small things like a quick text back take on greater significance than they normally would. To you it is a sign that even though you're not together, you're thinking of each other, and important to each other. So when she neglects to respond to you in the only way you have, really, while apart, it stings. Of course it does.

I doubt it means she doesn't care, she just doesn't text much. Or maybe she is good at compartmentalising things, and she does that with the relationship. When she is with you great, when she is not, she occupies herself in other ways. Whatever the reason, if she didnt want to be with you I guess she wouldnt be, so you need to adjust your attitude to cope with her different way of communicating. Stop seeing it as a lack of care, and just how she deals with life.

Humria

Stupidproblem wrote: »

Tbh she has never been a quick texter with me but it's recently starting to annoy me more and more, should I talk to her about it (have mentioned it before) or try to sort it out in my own head?

Yes, if it's brothering you just tell her. You can rationalise it and try to live with it but it's such a simple issue and could easily be remedied by a quick conversion.

If you do have the conversation - make sure you are feeling calm and not annoyed. Keep it simple: tell her that when she takes so long to respond that it makes you feel upset/frustrated. Keep to the facts and don't blame her. You can explain to her what you said here: that it's not a major issue but it would make a significant difference to you if she would acknowledge your messages when she sees them - even if it's just to say that she is busy at the moment and she'll contact you later. You can tell her that you know that there are circumstances where she won't respond straight away, that you know there are times that she will be busy but when she can / is free to acknowledge your message, that you would appreciate it if she did. She may not be a big texter but you may be able to come to some compromise.

The reality is she may not realise how much of an effect it has on you even if you have said it before. IMO, It's just easier to take the straightforward approach!