Social Anxiety & Big College Trip

LegacyUser

I know that the internet brings up loads of results on how to overcome situations like this but thought I'd give a personal insight and maybe get different opinions and ideas.

So I'm currently in my second year of studying and I've an upcoming trip this weekend which is compulsory to pass the end of year exam. It consists of a bus trip to a location for talks etc. on a topic that I'm studying with my year group. My issue is that during my first year of study I was often sick and missed a huge part of my lectures which led me to miss out on the whole making new friends in first year. While I did bond with some, a lot dropped out and left me on my own so I never really had consistent friends. Forward on to the situation now, while I have been attending my lectures and that I have not really bonded with anyone in my course. When I do go into the lectures it is quite obvious that everyone has their own group of friends.

I suffer from anxiety in these situations in lectures, feel as if everyone is staring or mocking me when in reality they probably don't even notice me. Now I am faced with this ridiculous trip and I will have to endure a bus ride on my own and have to sit by myself eating etc. I have no idea what to do, I'm afraid to approach my lecturers as I don't feel that they would be understanding of my situation. If anyone has any tips for coping with these situations that'd be great.

Thanks.

thegreatgonzo

AnxiousStudent wrote: »

I

I suffer from anxiety in these situations in lectures, feel as if everyone is staring or mocking me when in reality they probably don't even notice me.

Of course they aren't mocking you. Get that idea out of your head.

Try to break down the weekend into segments. For example, the bus journey is a segment, sitting in a lecture is another, the group meal afterwards or whatever and so on.
For each 'segment' make a plan or have something with you to help pass the time. On the bus you could bring a book or an I-pod. Better still you could ask someone sitting alone if it would be ok if you sat beside them. Chances are they will be delighted to get to know you better since you are classmates.
I've travelled alone a lot and I found it helped to plan small chunks of time in this way to avoid getting lonely. Once you get chatting to a person you might end up spending most of your time with them and you won't need your back up plans.
Hope that makes sense!

Stavro Mueller

I doubt your classmates even notice you. They're too wrapped up in themselves to bother staring, let alone mock. Honestly, nobody cares who you are or aren't sitting with.

If your bus trip is anything like the ones I went on in college, chances are you're going to have someone sitting beside you. The trick here is to get there good and early and get yourself a seat on the bus. That way you won't be faced with the awkward scenario of having to ask people is the empty seat beside them taken. If someone sits in beside you, then chat to them. I remember being on a field trip and one of my friends sitting beside a girl who was in your shoes. She had had to repeat and she didn't really know anyone in the class. We made sure to include her in our lunch group etc. I found that on field trips people were more sociable than they were back at college and far more inclined to chat to people outside their normal cliques. Why not view this trip as an opportunity to get to know some people in your class rather than fear them.

lajoie

AnxiousStudent wrote: »

I have no idea what to do, I'm afraid to approach my lecturers as I don't feel that they would be understanding of my situation. If anyone has any tips for coping with these situations that'd be great.

Hey OP, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a tough time and I can totally understand as I suffer with bad anxiety myself. I also had the experience of joining a totally new class and it definitely was daunting to start off. But after a while, it actually felt very freeing to not know anybody and to effectively be able to start again! It sounds like you're not giving yourself enough credit here - you already dealt with the tough side of coming back after a long break, so you can definitely get through this! And as the other posters said, if you can even talk to one person it'll get so much easier. Plus, usually on trips the dynamic changes and people are more willing to chat! It's not like sitting in rows at a lecture where people tend to clump together.

The other thing I want to mention is that in my experience, lecturers are very receptive and understanding about student difficulties so if you felt there was even one you could talk to, it might help to just explain you get a bit anxious? Sometimes just letting them know can be a relief in itself!

Ham Sambo

Been through the whole anxiety thing myself too, and I can relate to a lot of things you have said op, As much as you believe it the other guys are not mocking or staring at you, as lajoie has said approach your lecturers and explain your situation, they can be very accommodating and have seen it with other students.

As a matter of interest have you seen your GP about this? and no he or she would certify you as a complete nut job as I thought but can suggest different ways of coping, there is medication available to cope with anxiety that I found to be very helpful.

castaway_lady

The thought of something like this is most often worse than reality. There will probably be a dvd on the bus otherwise a magazine, ipod but Id whip these out as plan B if you're sitting alone. If there's someone beside you then def don't, chat a bit but not relentlessly.

Mealtimes, if possible head for a large table and just smile and say "are you full up here" and if not sit down, make small talk about the bus trip, food etc. Engage in conversation whether you're interested or not and tag along for the rest of it.
During the lecture aim to sit beside someone and don't head for a vacant area solo.

SERIOUSLY unlikely that they're mocking you or taking a tack of notice. As someone famous once said "we wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we knew how seldom they do"!

LegacyUser

Thank you all for the advice, it was really helpful and honestly was the only reason why I ended up going at all.

I took the advice of going a bit early and grabbing a seat on a bus and someone else sat next to me whom I tried my best to make conversation with. While I was sitting alone for mealtimes, I still engaged in conversation with others even though it was difficult.

The thought of going was definitely a lot worse than the actual trip..

Thanks again everyone