My husband doesn't want to have sex

jack32

hi guys & girls, new to boards. Just wondering if anyone has similar problems as myself. My husband doesn't want to have sex with me. I have asked him several times what is the problem and he says he is too tired all the time?? I have asked him does he want to spice things up etc but he says no. I asked him does he still love me and he says yes. I have asked if he still fancies me and he says yes. What should I do?:(

Ruu

Hi, welcome. After Hours is not the place for this post. Moving to Personal Issues.

JohnnyChimpo

Probably better off posting this in the Ladies' Lounge subforum, it's just pisstaking assholes in here for the most part. One of the mods might even be nice enough to move it for you. Without any more information it's pretty impossible to know how to answer this though. He could be gay, cheating on you, want a divorce, have a medical issue, or just be stressed out. Who knows?

nicowa

It could be any number of issues, as the above has mentioned. And until you sit down and talk it out you might never figure it out. Don't start from the sex angle. Figure out what he's thinking about work or money first. If there's problems there then they'll be adding to tiredness and lack of sex drive. And if tiredness is part of the main problem then getting to bed earlier, together, could help with that. I've a high sex drive - but if I don't get to bed by half ten, eleven on the odd night, then I'm not up for it.

Do ye spend time together before bed? Cuddling watching TV or anything?

But like I said, maybe start from the stress issues that might be there and go from that?

Tokyo

jack32 wrote: »

What should I do?:(

Talk to him honestly about this, and tell him that it's affecting you and you want to know what you can both do about it. You seem to be content with his answers of loving you and still being attracted to you, so it could be a multitude of things - he could be tired, it could be stress, it could be low libido, it could be something he needs to talk to a doctor about. But there's no way of knowing until you have an honest discussion together....

The Corinthian

jack32 wrote: »

My husband doesn't want to have sex with me. I have asked him several times what is the problem and he says he is too tired all the time?? I have asked him does he want to spice things up etc but he says no. I asked him does he still love me and he says yes. I have asked if he still fancies me and he says yes. What should I do?:(

We need more information.

It could be him. Typically stress, either from work, financial reasons, sick relative, whatever. Stress can play havoc with one's libido.

It could be an affair; if he's seeing someone else, then he could well lose interest at home.

It could be you. Have you changed in any significant way in the last while? Have you put on a lot of weight? Sometimes these changes can be a bit of a deal-breaker to how one person finds the other attractive.

It could be something else again. Ultimately, you need to examine what it might be, consider what's changed from when your sex life was positive. Without that, you're never going to get to the bottom of it, and certainly we won't.

mary55

I suppose you just have to keep asking him what is wrong until he tells you. Tell him it is really hurting that you don't know what is wrong but that you are there for him and want to help

Big Bag of Chips

As the OP has closed their account, and will not be contributing to the thread anymore, we will lock it.