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Could lose job and lose my son

  • 29-01-2014 10:22pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm going unregistered for this in case anyone might recognise me. I've made a terrible mistake and now I'm terrified...

    I've been in a years-long custody battle and recently fell behind in credit card payments. I made small token payments so I could afford huge legal fees and afford expensive trips abroad to see my son.

    But I work in banking and if they or any future employer sees my ICB I could wind up unemployed and unable to support or see my son!!

    I don't know why I let myself get into this situation, I guess I thought if I could reduce payments short-term and then get back on my feet I'd be OK. But now I realise this was stupid and it could ruin my life, all over a credit card!

    I've kept payments up on all my other debts now and in the past. Does anyone know would this stand to me or am I doomed???

    I'm not sleeping with the worries over this. I'm trying to keep my head above water. I've lost my court case I barely see my son as it is and now this....what have I done?!?!


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP you need to relax - unfortunately this is all too common.
    Maybe not the exact circumstances - but the spiraling credit card bills, increasing interest charges all sounds very familiar. Would hazard that many of us know at least one person who has been trapped in the same manner, I can definitely think of 2, 1 of which in is my own family.

    First thing first - you need to go back to basics - as trite as it sounds take a deep breath, make a cup of tea/coffee and sit down with pen and paper and slowly and calmly make out a list of all of your incomes and spends. (MABs have a tool for this.)
    Next go through what you are spending and see what is discretionary and what can be reduced - in my case I cancelled Sky around 4 or 5 years ago and now use FTA & Saorview. One of the people I know above still has Sky with the full sports package, still has broadband, a landline and a mobile, still somehow finds the money to go on two holidays a year - how I don't know - but if it was me I would have cut all but the broadband & phone.
    This will give you a good idea of really how healthy your spend control is.

    Next either talk to MABS or see if you can get a consolidating loan & cut up your credit card. Basically you need to re-learn how to budget to live on a small amount while you get yourself back on your own feet. Big thing is right now to cut yourself some slack, realise you are most definitely not alone - but start to take action here today, there are tools and services out there - use them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Taltos wrote: »
    OP you need to relax - unfortunately this is all too common.
    Maybe not the exact circumstances - but the spiraling credit card bills, increasing interest charges all sounds very familiar. Would hazard that many of us know at least one person who has been trapped in the same manner, I can definitely think of 2, 1 of which in is my own family.

    First thing first - you need to go back to basics - as trite as it sounds take a deep breath, make a cup of tea/coffee and sit down with pen and paper and slowly and calmly make out a list of all of your incomes and spends. (MABs have a tool for this.)
    Next go through what you are spending and see what is discretionary and what can be reduced - in my case I cancelled Sky around 4 or 5 years ago and now use FTA & Saorview. One of the people I know above still has Sky with the full sports package, still has broadband, a landline and a mobile, still somehow finds the money to go on two holidays a year - how I don't know - but if it was me I would have cut all but the broadband & phone.
    This will give you a good idea of really how healthy your spend control is.

    Next either talk to MABS or see if you can get a consolidating loan & cut up your credit card. Basically you need to re-learn how to budget to live on a small amount while you get yourself back on your own feet. Big thing is right now to cut yourself some slack, realise you are most definitely not alone - but start to take action here today, there are tools and services out there - use them.

    Thanks Taltos but the reason I'm so afraid is that I work in banking and part of my job is passing the Fitness and Probity standards. So if they check my ICB they may have to fire me! I dunno whether to tell them now and explain and hope they keep me on or keep quiet and hope they dont find out.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,282 ✭✭✭thefeatheredcat


    How familiar with the wording are you in the Fitness and Probity Standards OP? Some of it is clear cut to me when I read it in the financially sound section, but there's a few bits that I would view to be ambiguous that I would not see what the intended interpretation is meant to be.

    Are you a member of a union like IBOA? (edit: or have an employee support / confidential line operated by HR?) Would they be able to give you advice or discuss with you where potentially where you may stand or potential issues from your financial circumstances with your personal / family circumstances taken into account? They might be in the better position to advise and guide you specificially in relation to the code of practice and how, if at all, it would impact your employability.

    If you were to find yourself no longer compliant with the outlined standards, there is an obligation on you through those standards themselves to inform your firm. That, I know is written in the faq of the standards. It would be a discredit to yourself and a smudge against you from what I've read to not inform them as you would be seen as acting without ethics in your position, and therefore not complying with standards.

    I think the best thing to do is re-read any information you have been provided on the code, including supporting guides and faq, and seek advice from someone who is qualified to be specific on the matter who can guide you through on it and its wording with your situation taken into consideration.


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