Letting a kitten be adopted by a family with young children, yes or no?

Pumpkinseeds

I've had a few people enquiring about Molly our foster kitten. Now she's not used to kids and tries to hide when she hears them being noisy outside. I'm not comfortable letting her go to anyone with a child under 10 as I'm not sure it would work. I know that no home is guaranteed to be a success. Am I being paranoid or am I right to not want to let her go to a home with very young children. Constructive advice would be appreciated.

angelfire9

My three fosters live with a now 3 year old
Believe me kitty will have no problem escaping if she needs to
And ditto kitty will have no problem producing the claws if she gets hurt

Have you asked prospective parents about how they will react when kid gets scratched as is inevitable

In this house Aisling knows if she invades kitty space and kitty scratches it's Aislings fault not the cats
But some people won't see it that way

Pumpkinseeds

angelfire9 wrote: »

My three fosters live with a now 3 year old
Believe me kitty will have no problem escaping if she needs to
And ditto kitty will have no problem producing the claws if she gets hurt

Have you asked prospective parents about how they will react when kid gets scratched as is inevitable

In this house Aisling knows if she invades kitty space and kitty scratches it's Aislings fault not the cats
But some people won't see it that way

It's the parents who don't see it that way that worry me, I just don't want a situation where someone tells me what they think I want to hear when they adopt her and then decide to leave her outdoors if the child gets bitten or scratched. She's our first foster so it's all new to us.

sawdoubters

its better with young kids than older kids

Nody

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

It's the parents who don't see it that way that worry me, I just don't want a situation where someone tells me what they think I want to hear when they adopt her and then decide to leave her outdoors if the child gets bitten or scratched. She's our first foster so it's all new to us.

Ask them how what they will do when their children get scratched by the kitten and see how they react; it's not a definite no go but it's not suitable for first time cat owners basically. The flip side of that is that if they got a child now, and are willing to deal with the fall out, you don't risk the cat getting thrown out because of a child coming into the picture in the future (which is very common).

boomerang

If she is not used to young kids then no, I wouldn't rehome her with a family with small kids, especially seeing as she's already nervous of them.

It would be different if she were being reared in a foster home with small kids so that she'd be used to the noise and the unintentionally rough handling.


she's not used to kids and tries to hide when she hears them being noisy outside

To me that's a kitten that needs an adult-only home, or less ideally, a home with kids ten years plus.

Families want a kitten the kids can cuddle, stroke, pick up and play with, without the kitten wanting to run a mile. Wouldn't be fair on the kitten, or the family and she'd probably end up coming back to you.

mymo

We got our old boy jake and his brother Harry when my daughter was 2.5 years old. I worried but she had been around animals at both grandparents homes and understood to be quiet and gentle. Both cats loved her, followed her around, played with her (even getting in the dolls pram to be walked around the garden) and she loved them.
But and it's a big but, she was a very calm, understanding child, who was used to animals, we talked about them and she saw them as little people like her, they got hungry/tired//thirsty/upset just like her and I think that is very unusual in a small child. Very unusual, I've only seen it in a handful of small children and I think it's due to parents. If you are uncomfortable with the idea and don't think it would suit her, turn them down, Molly's family are out there!

Pumpkinseeds

Thanks for the advice everyone. I was surprised that she is so scared of kids as she's a typical curious kitten who's fascinated by everything and has absolutely no sense. I only found out because there were some kids playing out the front of our house the other week and I could hear her being more active than usual. When I went up she was checking the window to see what was going on then jumping down and trying to squeeze under things.

My gut is telling me that a home with young kids is wrong for her and I didn't listen to my gut last time and that was disastrous. She doesn't get exposure to kids or dogs as it's just my husband and I plus 4 cats. She has an unhealthy fascination with the washing machine too:) We're happy to keep her as long as it takes, our 4 are fairly ok with her now and will just hiss at her if she annoys them, she keeps trying to play with Felix and he's not interested. She's able to be downstairs with us now without having to be shut in her safe room, unless we're out.

angelfire9

Don't forget if you have someone in Clare with small kids looking for a kitty I have three here living with a toddler so feel free to send them in my direction

Calhoun

Quite frankly i believe you are putting to much stock in a home with kids, rather than the person themselves adopting and the nature of the kitten at hand.

I have a young child and when i do get my own place again i will get another kitten, i will try adopt but if having a child puts me outside of the adopting category i will buy one or get one off a notice board ect.

I however am a long time cat owner and favour them even over dogs, i would be responsible for the cat not the child and would make sure the cat was looked after correctly.

Pumpkinseeds

angelfire9 wrote: »

Don't forget if you have someone in Clare with small kids looking for a kitty I have three here living with a toddler so feel free to send them in my direction

Will do:D

Pumpkinseeds

Calhoun wrote: »

Quite frankly i believe you are putting to much stock in a home with kids, rather than the person themselves adopting and the nature of the kitten at hand.

I have a young child and when i do get my own place again i will get another kitten, i will try adopt but if having a child puts me outside of the adopting category i will buy one or get one off a notice board ect.

I however am a long time cat owner and favour them even over dogs, i would be responsible for the cat not the child and would make sure the cat was looked after correctly.

I would love to find someone like you, but so far I haven't. I know from talking to the people with young children who've contacted me, that they are looking for the ideal of a kitten but wouldn't like the reality. People don't think about the reality of an indoor only kitten/cat.

When you ask how they feel about having a litter box in the house or ask where they're going to keep her you soon find out that they aren't prepared to have a litter box, so she'd be dumped outside and people who tell me that she'll be kept in the living room as 'she'll be fine', just aren't listening to me when I tell them that she needs a safe room for herself until she settles in.

We've paid for her vaccinations, we've paid for her to be spayed, we've paid for her to be microchipped and we've socialised her to be a well adapted healthy happy kitten. The people who are advertising free to good homes are quite often irresponsible owners who didn't bother having their cat spayed and who have found themselves with a litter of kittens. They generally don't bother to get the kittens spayed or vaccinated, so you'd be looking at about 160 euro for that.

So, frankly I'll be as fussy as I need to be to make sure that Molly gets the best possible home with people who will love her and keep her safe and if I hurt someones feelings because I don't think that a home with young kids would be right for Molly, well I can live with that.

Calhoun

I am well aware of the realities of indoor cats, i choose to start doing this when i moved out of my family home because if was fearful of my cat getting FIV or worse. Also spayed and vaccinated my cats to make sure i get as long as possible out of them.

Unfortunately i had to give up my last as i was moving in with my inlaws who would have insisted on her being an outdoor cat. She now lives in my parents and is spoilt rotten and has full run of the house.

I appreciate why your looking for a good home, i was just saying that i would not soley discount on the basis of small kids but more the knowledge of the parent.

Pumpkinseeds

i

Calhoun wrote: »

I am well aware of the realities of indoor cats, i choose to start doing this when i moved out of my family home because if was fearful of my cat getting FIV or worse. Also spayed and vaccinated my cats to make sure i get as long as possible out of them.

Unfortunately i had to give up my last as i was moving in with my inlaws who would have insisted on her being an outdoor cat. She now lives in my parents and is spoilt rotten and has full run of the house.

I appreciate why your looking for a good home, i was just saying that i would not soley discount on the basis of small kids but more the knowledge of the parent.

I'd be quite happy to rehome her to a home where the parent/parents have experience with cats and appreciate the realities. It's just the ones that don't have any experience with cats and whom I can tell during a phone conversation haven't really thought it through that I'd be wary of.

So many people think they can just bring a kitten into the home and it'll love their kids and all will be perfect. They don't think about cleaning out a litter tray and they almost laugh at the idea of giving her a safe room of her own for at least a week until she settles in. I wouldn't discount a home based on children, as I said, I'd only be happy to let her go to one with experienced cat people.

Calhoun

Cat's generally can be little assholes when they want to be, they have fur but also claws and teeth. You have to earn their affection , totally agree with your approach and wish you the best in finding her a home.

You are doing the right thing its good to see people who love cats and don't see them as vermin.

ferretone

Calhoun wrote: »

I appreciate why your looking for a good home, i was just saying that i would not soley discount on the basis of small kids but more the knowledge of the parent.

This is perfectly sensible in general, but as Boomerang has pointed out, this particular kitten does not seem to be one who would best suit a home with kids. There are so many, many cats always available for rehoming, that refusing a family a particular one who is not a good fit for their circumstances will by no means end their dreams of cat ownership, but rather will mean both family and cat will be partnered with someone who is a better fit.

sillysmiles

angelfire9 wrote: »

In this house Aisling knows if she invades kitty space and kitty scratches it's Aislings fault not the cats

I think this is key with children and any pets.

boomerang

Calhoun wrote: »

I have a young child and when i do get my own place again i will get another kitten, i will try adopt but if having a child puts me outside of the adopting category i will buy one or get one off a notice board ect.

We rehome kittens to families with young kids all the time. But those kittens will have been in foster homes with young families since they were six weeks old, so are well-seasoned with kids, and well-suited to that kind of home. It's all about making the best match out of the cats/kittens needing homes with the homes that are on offer. It sets the adoption up for success.

angelfire9

boomerang wrote: »

We rehome kittens to families with young kids all the time. But those kittens will have been in foster homes with young families since they were six weeks old, so are well-seasoned with kids, and well-suited to that kind of home. It's all about making the best match out of the cats/kittens needing homes with the homes that are on offer. It sets the adoption up for success.

Exactly
OP's Molly is not a child friendly kitty
So as Punpkinseeds is not in a hurry she can wait & find the perfect home without kids for her

Of the three I have while all three are used to small people one is very very very good with Aisling
One puts up with her for 10-15 minutes of petting before he leaves
And the third has developed a 6th sense and even when he seems to be asleep he will get up and move to an Aisling free environment 99% of the time