am i being ridiculous?

LegacyUser

I well aware I'm insecure after a previous abusive relationship but something bothers me and I don't know if I've reason to feel upset or if its nonsense insecurity because of my past.

Been with boyfriend 3 years. He dated someone for 2 years before me, they'd been broken up a year when we met. She broke his heart yadda yadda....

Relationship is wonderful, couldn't ask for a better man, we're planning on moving in together and getting married soon.

What bothers me is that he is still friends with his ex's family on facebook. In fact her mothers profile picture is an old group shot and he is in the picture! I know he can't do anything about someone else profile pic, but should I be annoyed that he is still friends with her family on fb? I don't think he talks to them or anything, and he actually isn't friends with her on it, just her brothers, sisters and parents.

Is this a thing? Or is it a case that he just never saw the point in deleting them, and its completely insignificant in our relationship?

I know its not a major problem, I just have problems trusting after my previous relationship. Thanks!

Merkin

overthinking? wrote: »

Is this a thing? Or is it a case that he just never saw the point in deleting them, and its completely insignificant in our relationship?

Have you actually asked him? Not tackled or nagged him or anything but just simply asked him? I'd say he probably hasn't given it a second thought and if he is very polite he may not have wanted to just cull them all at once. If you're planning to marry this man you really should be talking to him about this directly and tell him it makes you a little uncomfortable. As far as trust goes, I really don't think it sounds like you have anything to worry about.

Tokyo

Yeah, to be honest I think you're letting the insecurities of your old relationship spill into this one. From what you describe, he's a great guy who obviously treats you well, to the point where he's asked you to marry me.

I'm friends with various people from my past on facebook. 371 at last count, including a few exes, or their friends, think there's a few sisters thrown in there too. I actually interact with maybe 5 or 6 friends on a regular basis. And there's a simple reason for that. I don't particularly care about facebook, or 99% of the people on it. It's a toy that I play with now and again, that's about it. Sounds like your partner treats it much the same. Be glad that he does, and is focused in the real world instead, you, his relationship with you, his coming marriage - too many people define their entire lives based on what is said and done on that website.

Jesus Wept

I think it would be very weird to delete them, they were for a time people who populated his life.

It makes it all feel horribly superficial and cynical if each time your life changes that you are expected to 'delete' a pile of people who you got on well with.

Other people new him and liked him before, that's a good thing.


If you are on his exes mothers facebook page, you're really indulging your jealous side.