House too small/Walls to thin

The Diabolical Monocle

Tl;dr - Ever stay somewhere where the sound effects/smells from the other rooms were just a bit too audible/informative for comfort.


Stayed in the folks house last night.
Im in my old bedroom now, I can hear dearest papa on the toilet, I realise that he snacked too much last night, (it must have been the bread I saw him munching judging by the tempo).

I gauge this from the frequency, tone and volume of his farts.
He also didn't hit the water on that third push so the bowl is now probably stained.

This along with being able to hear another family member snoring last night.
Having too much information makes it decidedly difficult to pursue certain bedroom oriented pastimes.


I've heard tales of housemates futilely trying to escape all bodily noises by putting pillows over their ears. But you can't unhear. Your mind is stained and only time will heal.

Also, got me to thinking, with the current high worldwide unemployment meaning that many youngsters can't move out, how many people must suffer the hell of their own parents/siblings noises. Have you ever had to desperately try to escape these sounds ?

stefan idiot jones

What's really bad is your sisters head being smashed off the headboard.

wazky

I can always hear my father giving birth to the brown lad in the next room, just wish he wasnt doing it in behind the tv.

FreshKnickers

Neighbours were going at it like jackhammers last night and I couldn't hear a thing. Then they closed their fecking curtains and I couldn't bloody see anything either.

UCDVet

Every apartment I've lived in since coming to Dublin has been this way. I'm not sure if it's a reflection of the construction quality here or a reflection of my being relatively poor. Either way, it sucks.

Muise...

I'd offer you my sympathies, Monocle dear, but I suspect you don't want to be spoken to or touched ever ever again.

En suites, why why why? Bedpans would be preferable - at least they don't provide an echo chamber of thin walls and porcelain.

Aidric

I wonder if Fred West's neighbours were carnivores.

Lived in one of those old Georgian buildings for a few months. Timber floors through out. Upstairs had a two year old who jumped out of bed at 7 bells every morning and ran riot around the flat all day. I worked nights. And what are you gonna do? Tell a two year old to shut up?

The only thing that made it remotely funny was the couple living there would put him to bed early so they could fcuk in the sitting room. She was (*cough*) bit of a screamer. You have no idea how distracting it is trying to watch Dr. Phil being drowned out by the sound of someone having an orgasm in Polish.:(