I cant afford to work!

Debion

Hi all, I could really use some advice. I feel completely off my head with stress, at the moment I am off work sick trying to find a way out of the mess I am in. I am recently separated- I earn 2400pm from my job, my CB is 390 pm and my husband gives apprx 300 pm maintenance. My total income is 3090- my rent is 1100 euro, my childcare is 1300 (three children, two not in school), it is 240pm in petrol to get to work, and I have a CU loan for 120 pm that I negotiated down from 255- it is not a huge loan and the only debt I have. My income to feed, clothe, doctors, car tax, heat, electric etc is 330 pm.

I am entitled to nothing- went to SWO very distressed who told me I fall between two stools- I am generally in the black every month- if I quit my job will I be entitled to anything? I am trying desperately to find something part time and closer to home- I would be better off on a lower wage and fis if I could reduce the childcare- I dont know what to do. SVP are feeding us most of the time and I feel sick to my stomach that my life feels like it is completely out of my control- the bills are starting to pile up, the pressure is massive- I just feel completely lost- I have no family other than my husband who does not see the children and is not prepared to do anything else for the family. I asked him to take the children he says he works (unpaid training?) and is only getting paid part time hours.

waraf

As far as I'm aware If you quit your job or you're fired you won't be entitled to social welfare assistance for up to nine weeks. (there's no waiting period if you're let go from the job)

Sounds like your husband is the problem. 300 a month is a complete joke

Debion

I know, I don't know what to do. Thanks for the help.

waraf

Debion wrote: »

I know, I don't know what to do. Thanks for the help.

Have you thought about a live-in au pair? My girlfriend did it for a couple of years and the family only had to pay her 100 euro a week which she said is the usual amount for live-in au pairs (obviously she got to live in the house rent free and didn't have to pay for food or bills etc).

Debion

I could look at that as an option- I was going to try to rent out a room but would only make about 300 euro pm for that plus who would want to live with a family. Ok au pair, think I might try that- just need to give myself some time to sort the mess- thank you so much for the suggestion.

Inspector Dhar

Hi Deb. My heart goes out to you. What your ex is giving you amounts to €25 per child per week. Thats a joke in 2014. He MUST do better than than. Also, have you considered moving house to someplace cheaper AND closer to work? You seem to be spending a lot of money on petrol. Keep the chin up!

Debion

Hiya I know, I think I will apply for maintenance when I feel a bit better- just cant face seeing him right now. I did think of moving but decided against, my daughter is so happy in her school, the neighbours are nice and I have a support network here in friends and stuff calling to see us during the weeknights. I'm not going to let him push us out of Dublin- might not be the best place in the world but it is where our home is. I think the aupair idea is good, I will look into that and as soon as I feel ok will go to district court. I think if I lived in the county where I work I would be even worse- might save on petrol but would lose on mental health and support. Thanks for the replies you guys are great!:)

A_Sober_Paddy

Sorry just a quick question...You earn 29k before tax correct?

LWS

You may be entitled to a doctors only medical card based on the income and expenditure set out - know this wont fix your problem but may just help a little.

LWS

Also make sure you are getting one-parent family tax credit (if you have not sorted this already). Might increase your take-home pay somewhat. Feel awful for you in this situation. The au-pair option may be your easiest way to reduce your outgoings.

Debion

re 29 k no, I earn more- but have lots of cuts am civil service- so all kinds of pension levies deducted- my gross income is great! Have applied for OPF tax credit- will apply for medical card.

Sam Kade

Would you be entitled to family income supplement?

bestleftfull3

where are you living? maybe look at commuting to work?

Raychi

Hi i am in a similar situation. although after applying for maintenance i received 15 per child per week and have not since may 2013 have seen a cent of it!! my ex didnt show to court twice and nothing was done about it! i am now trying to rare two children cant afford to work, because of childcare and rent being so high. i would be happy with the 300 per month as if your husband is on a low wage max of 15 per week poor child is all youll get. sorry for damping the mood

Sleepy

Debion wrote: »

Hiya I know, I think I will apply for maintenance when I feel a bit better- just cant face seeing him right now.

You need to get past this. Get legal support (maybe try FLAC or citizens advice?) and pursue your husband for proper child support. My step-sons father pays equivalent maintenance for 1 child that he has overnight twice a week!

As a parent, you don't have the luxury of wallowing at home "sick" or avoiding your (presumably now ex) husband right now. It only makes your position worse: you're endangering your long-term career (if not your job itself) and allowing him to shirk his responsibilities. Bottle up the emotions for now and release them all later on when you're safe to allow yourself to do so i.e. when you've got the financial stuff sorted and can get family to take the kids for a weekend etc.

veetwin

Your husband is the main problem here. If he is only working part time then he should be looking after the kids when he is not working. If he is working full time he should be paying multiples of €300pm. Have you considered the legal route if you don't want to deal with him personally? Free legal advice centre maybe?

Your childcare bill is killing you but you would need a very good au pair to be entrusted with 2 children under school age and a school going one also. It's a big undertaking for anyone but for a 19 yr old girl with no qualifications and maybe limited English. Personally I think it's too much and again your husband should be stepping up to the mark here.

Raychi

Sometimes ex partners just aren't so bothered. Believe me ive been there, failure to appear to court twice and still no money!! 300 is alot more than shell get if hes only working part time in court or not working at all!! the system is a joke!!!

mitosis

Your rent is the culprit. Move to a lower rent property, and one closer to work if possible. 30% of income on rent is OTT in my opinion

Michael D Not Higgins

Raychi wrote: »

Sometimes ex partners just aren't so bothered. Believe me ive been there, failure to appear to court twice and still no money!! 300 is alot more than shell get if hes only working part time in court or not working at all!! the system is a joke!!!

If that's the case then the childcare costs can be reduced by him taking care of the kids when he's not working. There's an amount of common sense that has to prevail which, granted, is not always available in these types of disputes.

ABajaninCork

Are there tax credits for childcare?

Michael D Not Higgins

mitosis wrote: »

Your rent is the culprit. Move to a lower rent property, and one closer to work if possible. 30% of income on rent is OTT in my opinion

That depends on where in the country she is. Currently on daft, there's only 21 places to rent for less than 1100 a month (assuming a three bed).

Raychi

What about when the father is too lazy to send his child a birthday card never mind help look after them? i went to court and was told by a judge THE FATHER DOES NOT HAVE TO SEE HIS KIDS!! and by the looks of it is not made pay for them either!!

Keogh08

FIS limits for 3 children is €703, your take home pay is €553.84 if you include the maintenance from your ex the net income is €623.08

Apply for FIS and the medical card, once you have both of these look for childcare subvention.

bestleftfull3

i work in dublin 500 for a three bedroom house in the midlands !commuting is 160 a month its the only way to go and no matter where she is living im sure commuting is possible

segaBOY

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

Jesus.....

It's 2014, perhaps people need to open their mind a bit. This is a job that can make a lonely person happy, you can earn good money and work on your own schedule from a comfortable location and requires little qualifications. I can think of a lot worse. The poster was just trying to help.

OP your rent is too high. Social Welfare is a safety net, it is not going to support you living in a home which costs so much to rent. You could buy a new small car with the amount of money you pay in rent per year. I appreciate that this is tough on your children and lifestyle, however nothing can stay the same and sometimes we need to make tough decisions to allow for better long-term outcomes. A place with lower rent would give you a lot more breathing space.

Best of luck.

segaBOY

Debion wrote: »

re 29 k no, I earn more- but have lots of cuts am civil service- so all kinds of pension levies deducted- my gross income is great! Have applied for OPF tax credit- will apply for medical card.

I am guessing you are on about €37k gross then. It appears this could also be a difficulty for the SWO and other benefits. Unfortunately when you fall into a certain bracket in Ireland you earn too much on paper to get anything from Social Welfare however with taxes etc. you may earn too little to live a good life.

Your local Citizens Information Office would be a good one to try.

hawthorne

See your community welfare officer at once and put all your details on the table.
S/He might have an idea how to help you.

corsica

Hi OP. Just remember with the Au Pair - they will not work during the summer months usually. So you will still have to sort childcare for June July and Aug. Your childcare costs are so high - please make sure you are getting the early childcare allowance if it applies to you. This is not means tested and is available to everyone. You rent is really high too - if you can spare a room to rent out then you could also move to smaller house? I am in a similar situation so I know exactly what you are going through. My ex is now dead however and I have a lot of debt - historic, accrued by ex and myself years back. All in my name, so no way out. At this stage, for the first time ever, I find I just cannot afford to pay the CC bill, am so worried about it that I am burying my head in the sand and hoping it will go away. I just cannot afford to finance this debt anymore. I have 2 kids and low income, I get 30 FIS per week.

maguic24

bestleftfull3 wrote: »

i work in dublin 500 for a three bedroom house in the midlands !commuting is 160 a month its the only way to go and no matter where she is living im sure commuting is possible

Commuting with 2 small kids??? I don't actually think it is worth the stress!!