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[Amazon reviews] Haribo Sugarless Gummi Bears

  • 21-01-2014 12:05pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 17,507 ✭✭✭✭ r3nu4l


    So Amazon in the US sell a 5 pound bag of Haribo gummi bears.

    Here's some samples of reviews, the rest are here
    First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

    BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

    Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

    But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like...
    I ripped the door open and somehow managed to drop my pants without undoing my belt. What erupted sounded like a steamroller driving through a bubble wrap factory. I knew it was audible from the nurses station and I had nearly knocked a pretty blonde out of her chair during my mad dash. As the sense of relief from the pressure washed over me, so did the smell. It smelled like someone took a bag of dirty diapers, filled it with rotting body parts, and let it sit in the sun for two weeks.

    So go easy on those sugar-free gummi bears.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,017 ✭✭✭✭ Ken.


    14wdqmp.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭ returnNull


    There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

    Lol :pac::pac:


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,644 ✭✭✭✭ dr.fuzzenstein


    They will make a splendid present and I already have a few people in mind...


  • Registered Users Posts: 970 ✭✭✭ bigslick


    This guy decided to take the test

    Warning, possible NSFW



  • Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 10,828 Mod ✭✭✭✭ MarkR


    I had to stop reading them in work. Crying here. Read some of them last week, but had to stop before I ruptured myself.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,162 ✭✭✭ Augmerson


    bigslick wrote: »
    This guy decided to take the test

    Warning, possible NSFW


    Brilliant, thanks for that!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,571 ✭✭✭ DoozerT6


    ...did anybody notice the lack of toilet paper on the holder beside him??

    Oh dear :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,740 ✭✭✭ raze_them_all_


    my favourite line is that someone tried to funnel the niagra falls through a straw


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭ returnNull


    the chap in the above youtube clip also eats a ghost chilli pepper :) well worth watching :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,464 ✭✭✭ e_e


    lol they seem to have been taken down, and now 3rd party sellers are charging crazy prices for them.

    Anyone looking for 120 dollar laxatives?


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