Loss of Libido?

LegacyUser

I am with my OH just over a year, and we have always had a very healthy sex life. In fact, I have always had a higher sex drive than he, which he of course thought was great!

In the last few months however, my libido has plummeted.I have been very stressed as a result of ongoing problems at work, which has transferred to my personal life. However, I actually felt like this situation was improving in recent months, to the point where I now feel happier and more relaxed as a person.

But my libido is no better - I am just exhausted all the time, want to sleep, and am not bothered about sex. It's not that I don't want to have it - 70% of the time when my OH initiates, I really enjoy it, and I do initiate once a week or so - but it's upsetting me that if I didn't have it, I would be ok with it. I'm so very sexually attracted to my OH and love him so much, he makes me very happy. There are no issues with our relationship bar the usual disagreements that any couple has. He is of course very understanding, and I often do other things with him that might compensate for a lack of sex, but it can't be easy on him either. I have talked to him about it and he says he just wants me to be ok, and that he loves me and my happiness takes priority for him. But when in my head I want to have sex 2-3 times a week (as that's how often we see each other) with of course the odd day where one or both of us is too tired, why won't my body let me?

Sorry for the long post - I'm just wondering if anyone else has been through this and if you had any advice on how to get through it?

Lucyfur

Hi Op,

I have moved your thread to Relationship Issues as I feel you will receive better responses here.

Lucy

Sleepy

Have you ever noticed that the more sex you have the more you want? I've sometimes found myself too tired to even think about it and then 15 minutes later thoroughly enjoy myself after acquiescing to advances I didn't think I wanted.

Sometimes it's worth going along with your partners advances even if you feel like you're too tired etc. and after a couple of weeks of this, you may well find your libido returning to it's former heights. If it doesn't, then my first course of action would be to visit my GP. People are far too quick to discredit the warning signs their bodies are giving them and, possibly due to historical religious teachings about sex being something to be ashamed of or thought of as sinful, a waning sex drive is all too often dismissed as just being "getting past the honeymoon period" etc.

Tokyo

AS you said yourself, you've had to deal with a lot of stress in the past few months - it's going to take some time for your body to find a balance again. And worrying about it is probably the worst thing you could do in terms of reducing your stress levels.

Smart approach IMHO would be a quick trip to the GP to rule out any medical possibilities such as a hormone imbalance, and once that's done, get back to making time for yourself and relaxing, and let nature take its course.