Struggling with life.

Silverman11

Hi there

I am a 20 year old male and I find myself struggling with life at the moment.

I am currently living at home because I am off college for the second year in a row due to an anxiety disorder.

I have no reason to leave the house. I can't find work because I live in a small town. I don't get to see my friends, I don't get to meet new people and I have no girl in my life, which I would like.
I see people my own age out living and loving life yet I am stuck where I am.

I don't have many friends and girls don't seem to notice me. I feel like nobody outside my family respects me or has much time for me.
I would have been quite quiet when I was young and I would have struggled to make connections with people which now leaves me with little friends.

I think to myself about how great it would be if I were famous and people just respected me.
I also think, how great it would be if I could go back to being 13 and start secondary school again without my anxiety disorder to hold be back.

I know not many people will have many answers for me but it has helped to even vent my problems.

Thanks for listening.

Vito Corleone

Have you gone to your GP and talked about this with him/her? That would probably be the first thing you should do. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would also be beneficial for you, although, it can be expensive.

Ham Sambo

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would be a good start, if you are a student would you have access to a medical card? assuming that you have seen your GP has he or she diagnosed you with an anxiety disorder and have they offered you a course of medication?, lots of questions I know but I have gone something similar myself, it's not nice but it is manageable believe me.

Start off with making an appointment with your GP, you are not on your own with this one, the panic attacks, the anxiety, all can be managed with the help of medication and CBT. Best of luck.

Silverman11

I have been to my GP, Im on medication and I do attend CBT which do help but I was wondering is it normal to feel this way. I feel so down a lot and I don't feel good enough for people. My family are great I feel like myself with them but it's with people my own age.
I am actually a very out going person and I love meeting new people but over the last 8 years my life hasn't went the way I would like it to and it just makes me feel down.

Thanks for the advice.

Mint Aero

For what it's worth a lot of those people out enjoying their life are pissing it away on booze and ciggs and clubs every weekend. My advice? The grass isn't greener on any side. Switch off the facebooks if you're on it and concentrate on your studies. College is your ticket, finish it and depending on prospects, just go abroad and work. Things will fall into place.

Maura74

Are you interested in any kind of sport that is a great way to make friends, check to see if there are any sport facilities available for you to join, if not, go jogging/running which grate for your health.

Also doing volunteering work would be a helpful for to meet people and will give you work experience and confidence which will be a benefit for you when you start back your college studies.

dellas1979

Some good ideas and suggestion here!

But the bottom line is, nothing is going to change, unless you get up and change it.

You can wish your life away, or you can do something about it. At 20 years old, you are so young and have so many experiences ahead of you.

You need to explore at the CBT sessions why you feel so inadequate/unless/no confidence and where it has stemmed from.

Silverman11

dellas1979 wrote: »

Some good ideas and suggestion here!

But the bottom line is, nothing is going to change, unless you get up and change it.

You can wish your life away, or you can do something about it. At 20 years old, you are so young and have so many experiences ahead of you.

You need to explore at the CBT sessions why you feel so inadequate/unless/no confidence and where it has stemmed from.

Thank you for your post. I do feel if I can get to the bottom of my inadequate/useless/not good enough feelings, I would feel a bit better any way.

freshpopcorn

Is there any night class in your area that you might find interesting. I know we got loads of leaflets through the door lately and if sports is not your thing there were languages/cookery/computers/business/ loads of things. It would only be one night a week but it would give you something to look forward to and you'd get to meet New people.

Silverman11

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Is there any night class in your area that you might find interest. I know we got loads of leaflets through the door lately and if sports is not your thing there were languages/cookery/computers/business/ loads of things. It would only be one night a week but it would give you something to look forward to and you'd get to meet New people's.

That's a good idea but I live in a very small town and there is nothing in it to do. All the young people in my town are away at college so there is noone about during the week.

freshpopcorn

Silverman11 wrote: »

That's a good idea but I live in a very small town and there is nothing in it to do. All the young people in my town are away at college so there is noone about during the week.

If there was a night class that you found interesting at least you'd get to meet people even if they are older than you at least it be somebody for you to go and have a chat with.

Maura74

What are you studying at college. You may be able to help people at night classes with basic computer skills.

Also you could knock on your neighbours door to see if they need any odd jobs doing and you never know they may pay you if you do a good job. Check with older neighbours as they nearly always want help with gardening and other odd jobs around their homes.

But you need to get out there and start doing things that will help you and maybe others as well.

Silverman11

Maura74 wrote: »

What are you studying at college. You may be able to help people at night classes with basic computer skills.

Also you could knock on your neighbours door to see if they need any odd jobs doing and you never know they may pay you if you do a good job. Check with older neighbours as they nearly always want help with gardening and other odd jobs around their homes.

But you need to get out there and start doing things that will help you and maybe others as well.

Thanks for the reply, that's a good idea i might try something like that, thanks

Mr. G

Silverman11 wrote: »

Thank you for your post. I do feel if I can get to the bottom of my inadequate/useless/not good enough feelings, I would feel a bit better any way.

You're not useless or inadequate.

Have a try at volunteering. Its extremely rewarding and fun, you will get to meet new people and have great craic. Volunteering also looks good for a CV. It doesn't even have to be computers, maybe a festival or something. Get onto your local Volunteering Centre and ask is my advice.

The world is your oyster, enjoy it. That was what a close relative said to me. I know the feeling, we all have it at some stage.

You. Are. Not. Useless. You never were, never are and never will be. You just need something positive in your life:)

In terms of work, perhaps try doing applying for Job Bridge or work experience.

Silverman11

Mr. G wrote: »

You're not useless or inadequate.

Have a try at volunteering. Its extremely rewarding and fun, you will get to meet new people and have great craic. Volunteering also looks good for a CV. It doesn't even have to be computers, maybe a festival or something. Get onto your local Volunteering Centre and ask is my advice.

The world is your oyster, enjoy it. That was what a close relative said to me. I know the feeling, we all have it at some stage.

You. Are. Not. Useless. You never were, never are and never will be. You just need something positive in your life:)

In terms of work, perhaps try doing applying for Job Bridge or work experience.

Thank you for the help and advice.

Chiquitita

Silverman, try not to be so hard on yourself. Easier said than done, I know.

As someone said the grass is always greener, and it might look like others "have it all figured out" but believe me when I say, that's not true. Behind every backdoor is a problem as my wonderful mother says, and she's right (love her!)

Keep going to your gp and your counselling, talking really does lift the weight off your shoulders.

Watch some telly and have a nice cup of warm milk

exercise is the antidote

Silverman11 wrote: »

Hi there

I am a 20 year old male and I find myself struggling with life at the moment.

I am currently living at home because I am off college for the second year in a row due to an anxiety disorder.

I have no reason to leave the house. I can't find work because I live in a small town. I don't get to see my friends, I don't get to meet new people and I have no girl in my life, which I would like.
I see people my own age out living and loving life yet I am stuck where I am.

I don't have many friends and girls don't seem to notice me. I feel like nobody outside my family respects me or has much time for me.
I would have been quite quiet when I was young and I would have struggled to make connections with people which now leaves me with little friends.

I think to myself about how great it would be if I were famous and people just respected me.
I also think, how great it would be if I could go back to being 13 and start secondary school again without my anxiety disorder to hold be back.

I know not many people will have many answers for me but it has helped to even vent my problems.

Thanks for listening.

That all sounds very familiar too me. I spent many years hoping things will get better.! My biggest problem was I let people get me down and let little set backs turn into big ones, I'm by no means cured! But I started back in college last September, it has been a struggle but I am still at it. Take it day by day and no more and try to keep thinking positive, I know that's not always easy.
Fair play to you for doing the Cbt, and working on your anxiety
I can remember a time when it didn't phase me where ever I went too! I wish you many bright days ahead

Silverman11

Chiquitita wrote: »

Silverman, try not to be so hard on yourself. Easier said than done, I know.

As someone said the grass is always greener, and it might look like others "have it all figured out" but believe me when I say, that's not true. Behind every backdoor is a problem as my wonderful mother says, and she's right (love her!)

Keep going to your gp and your counselling, talking really does lift the weight off your shoulders.

Watch some telly and have a nice cup of warm milk

Thank you for the lovely reply.

Silverman11

exercise is the antidote wrote: »

That all sounds very familiar too me. I spent many years hoping things will get better.! My biggest problem was I let people get me down and let little set backs turn into big ones, I'm by no means cured! But I started back in college last September, it has been a struggle but I am still at it. Take it day by day and no more and try to keep thinking positive, I know that's not always easy.
Fair play to you for doing the Cbt, and working on your anxiety
I can remember a time when it didn't phase me where ever I went too! I wish you many bright days ahead

Thanks for the advice.