Nigerian Pastor tries to walk on water

Vendettaxx

... Drowns.

http://www.reportghananews.com/nigerian-pastor-tries-to-walk-on-water-like-jesus-then-drowns-in-front-of-his-congregation/

Conmaicne Mara

Proves he's not a witch in disguise anyway.

Digital Solitude

Never seen that one coming...

GarIT

The dangers of religion

He was secretly absolving the world of it's sins.

Mickey H

Hilarity ensues...

alchemist33

Yeah, yeah, but give him three days and he'll be right as rain.

Mint Aero

lol

dodderangler

Fcukin gob****e

Pumpkinseeds

That's what happens when you have a God complex:D

dmc17

See this is why you shouldn't believe everything you read

Quietyou

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m35RAMml8xY

Howard Juneau

One less bible thumper in the world, I don't see a downside

ScumLord

He could have at least learned to swim or told friends to save him if he looks like he's drowning. The article said he took 2 steps and then drowned, did everyone just stand by waiting for a miracle to save him?

Referencing Matthew 14:22-33, Kabele said that he received a revelation which told him that with enough faith he could achieve what Jesus was able to.

A common mistake, you need to have the "damn the laws of physics" achievement and have bought the Nike air max DLC to be able to walk on water without drowning.

Phill Ewinn

This story does the rounds every year. Welcome to the internet OP.

Lando Griffin

RIP, another of Gods foot solders gone.
Wonder does he have 12 followers ready to travel the world with the good news, he did to save the rest of us.

Pretzill

ScumLord wrote: »

He could have at least learned to swim or told friends to save him if he looks like he's drowning. The article said he took 2 steps and then drowned, did everyone just stand by waiting for a miracle to save him?


A common mistake, you need to have the "damn the laws of physics" achievement and have bought the Nike air max DLC to be able to walk on water without drowning.

I would've had a go at the water into wine trick first.

dmc17

Pretzill wrote: »

I would've had a go at the water into wine trick first.

Yeah its always best to start small instead of jumping straight in at the deep end.....

J_E

It was god's will.

FreshKnickers

Darwin award?

Vendettaxx

Phill Ewinn wrote: »

This story does the rounds every year. Welcome to the internet OP.

Lol no it doesn't. It's been around before but only being made a big deal of now. It's why the examiner picked it up recently.

http://www.examiner.com/article/pastor-tries-to-walk-on-water-like-jesus-drowns-front-of-congregation

There's been no threads on here about it.

tayto lover

Pretzill wrote: »

I would've had a go at the water into wine trick first.

That's the hard bit.
I know a few publicans who can change wine, whiskey etc into water, no problem.

Wattle

Jesus is many things but obviously he's not a lifeguard.

padd b1975

Vendettaxx wrote: »

Lol no it doesn't. It's been around before but only being made a big deal of now. It's why the examiner picked it up recently.

http://www.examiner.com/article/pastor-tries-to-walk-on-water-like-jesus-drowns-front-of-congregation

There's been no threads on here about it.

Yeah, everyone knows the internet begins and ends here:rolleyes:

Fr_Dougal

Any coincidence that Bertie was over there acting as a consultant? Hmm...

syklops

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

That's what happens when you have a God complex:D

You mean a son of god complex.

Capt'n Midnight

Maybe he was just faking his death so he could disappear with the collection ?

African News ?

Let's see what The Onion has to say.

January: 2012 - The Onion Tabloid has closed shop as it's nolonger seen on newsstands.

http://www.redpepper.co.ug/31638/

He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back.’ A researcher at Florida State University believes he has a natural explanation for the account of Jesus’ miraculous walk on the surface of water — ice.

Professor of Oceanography Doron Nof and the co-authors of his study theorize that a rare combination of optimal water and atmospheric conditions resulted in a unique, localized freezing phenomenon called ‘springs ice.’

This horrible incident, together with a “professor’s” response, progresses from the tragically untaught to the supremely obtuse. The Tragedy of Ignorance“‘Pastor’ Kabele” obviously was a very sincere man; but sincerity does not nullify ignorance.

I do not use this term in a pejorative way. All of us are ignorant in some matters. It’s just that sometimes one form of ignorance can have a greater consequence than others.

In the first place it should be noted that “revelations” from God do not occur today. When the Old Testament era came to an end in Malachi’s day, 400 years passed with no “revelations” from God.

MilanPan!c

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Maybe he was just faking his death so he could disappear with the collection ?

African News ?

Let's see what The Onion has to say.

January: 2012 - The Onion Tabloid has closed shop as it's nolonger seen on newsstands.

http://www.redpepper.co.ug/31638/

That Uganda Online has some hilarious headlines. Such as:

"Model Kabareebe in Raunchy Butt Show at Sisqo Gig".

"Raunchy Butt Show". Lol.


Stating that, this is a hoax, this drowned pastor nonsense.

Taltos

I found the comments even funnier. So hard not to reply back to them but you know where that might end up...

MRnotlob606

GarIT wrote: »

The dangers of religion

He was secretly absolving the world of it's sins.

nothing got to do religion its got to do with stupidity .

Sir Osis of Liver.

Worked for Jackie Healy Rae. https://www.google.ie/search?q=jackie+healy+rae&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=vAPbUt-ZLvTb7AaP7IGYCg&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1024&bih=673#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=ZHgO5Uu34P_A1M%253A%3BAjXGo3jDceHMtM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.brightidea.ie%252Fjackiehealyrae%252Fimages%252Fpowerful.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.brightidea.ie%252Fjackiehealyrae%252Fearlyyears.html%3B223%3B326

Ghost Buster

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

nothing got to do religion its got to do with stupidity .

Everything to do with it. Read the bible. Jesus tells the disciples that anything is possible if they believe strongly enough before walking on water. This guy believed and.... well. Its almost as if its all nonsense isnt it!

bodhrandude

Why didn't he start at a shallow part He should've researched the area he was entering, at least at a shallow part he would quickly realize that its not going to work.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahah

Call Me Jimmy

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahah

Stop thaat laughin'

Daqster

I'm actually very surprised that he couldn't walk on water as he seems to have no problem with resurrection.

He died in 2006 (coincidentally trying to walk on water):

http://www.wnd.com/2006/08/37702/

TheJokesOnUs

Now, how do we get the other 175 million Nigerians to try this stunt

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

This was splashed all over the news.