I have a mental illness. What's yours?

Chiquitita

Anyone suffering from a mental illness knows how it feels to be alone and confused. But you're not, there are a few of us. 1 in 4 to be precise.

I'm chiquitita and I have anxiety, depression which the doctor now believes is secondary to another mental illness, yet to be diagnosed so I wont say yet.

So, what's yours?

After reading this it is my hope that people will find some comfort knowing they're not alone.

Chrisita

After more than 20 years,I am recovering. I took a very alternative view and was convinced that there were physical causes, and in my case,I was right. I had every conceivable test and 5 years ago had a major breakthrough. My Dr had just completed some training through an organization called, Biobalance.org, and I was diagnosed with some genetic irregularities that imbalanced my biochemistry. These are called histadellia ,pyroluria and copper overload. The treatment consisted of a compound of specific vitamins and minerals to re regulate some biochemical processes and one year later, I was able to reduce my SSRI meds by half and felt much improved. However,I was still very exhausted and my Dr and I carried on looking for other causes. Then a few months ago (my Dr is so busy, some years I only get to visit her twice, 4 times on a lucky year) we had another breakthrough. A stool analysis test revealed that my digestive system was not up to par and I had major disbiosis ( imbalanced gut bacteria). I am now on several digestive enzymes,tonics and really powerful bifidus strains. Ten weeks later, I am reducing my SSRI meds again. In many cases (according to my amazing Dr) mental disorders have physical causes, but they will vary from person to person.

FruityCake

Fair play, does help talking to people in similar situations. OCD/anxiety disorder. Don't leave my house much, at 24 tis a bit much haha. Quit college because of it, what a drag!

daithiot

Depression, Anxiety and addiction (alcohol & gambling) - my life has been a train wreck this last while
http://depressedaddicted.blogspot.ie/ is my new blog

Baked.noodle

Schizoaffective disorder. It's like a mixture of schizophrenia and bipolar. If I get manic (bipolar) I can become psychotic (schizophrenic). I've been in hospital twice for about ten weeks each time. Only hit me when I was 32. No warning signs. I'm on 325 mg of Clozapine a day, down from 450 mg. It's dangerous medication that can lower white blood cells so I get a blood test every month. I was on lithium and risperdal before but relapsed. If anything it's made me a very strong person. You wouldn't believe the sh1t I've been through with this.

Morf

I've gone depression, simple schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder to late-diagnosed asperger's.

I also have red hair and hairy hobbit toes.

Sarah_12

I suffer from Depression and Anxiety since I was very young. I was initially on lexapro and now Effexor which I'm trying to ween off at the moment and it's not a pleasant experience!

I think this thread is a great idea, if you can get a person talking about their mental illness it seems to help a lot.

Penny Tration

I have anxiety and bipolar. I had PTSD but after seven years, thankfully overcame it.

I'm not on any medication. My bipolar, i control with therapy. The anxiety is bad. Really bad. I'm not on medication for it anymore though, after becoming addicted to a previous medication for it (was taking up to 30 pills a day, as opposed to 3). Therapy hasn't and is not helping with the anxiety, unfortunately. I'm working on rationalising things before I act, though. Doesn't always work, but my boyfriend is great for reassuring me when I'm feeling very anxious.

Morf

Sarah_12 wrote: »

I suffer from Depression and Anxiety since I was very young. I was initially on lexapro and now Effexor which I'm trying to ween off at the moment and it's not a pleasant experience!

I think this thread is a great idea, if you can get a person talking about their mental illness it seems to help a lot.

I was on both of those actually. They didn't do much for me and one or both I went cold turkey off which in a hazy recollection wasn't that nice.

Temaz

Bi Polar.

euser1984

Sarah_12 wrote: »

I suffer from Depression and Anxiety since I was very young. I was initially on lexapro and now Effexor which I'm trying to ween off at the moment and it's not a pleasant experience!

I think this thread is a great idea, if you can get a person talking about their mental illness it seems to help a lot.

I've had depression for years and the only thing that has ever worked is Effexor. I've been on 300mg a day for about two years now and it's changed my life around completely. The first medication that worked was Lamictal and that was amazing but it stopped working after a while although it really helped with my epilepsy. (and continues to do so)

I knew the withdrawal symptoms horror stories but I didn't care because I needed something that would work - otherwise my life wasn't worth living.

Why are you weaning off it?

Chiquitita

Hey, maybe can we leave medication discussions to the other thread. Kinda thought this would be good just so that people can see that they're not alone.

pheasant tail

I suffer from depression and anxiety, diagnosed with BPD a few years back. I had one of them moments last week where you just look back and realise your in the very same position and no further on as you were this time last year
Recently started EMDR with mixed results but ill not get my hopes up

daveyboynire

I have generalized anxiety and social anxiety and I suspect secondary depression caused by the aforementioned, I've suffered with these since I hit my late teens although I am getting better its a bloody slow process, I still can't do a lot of things most normal folk can like travel on public transport, planes or boats, or I can't even drive a car.

Boldberry

I was diagnosed about two years ago with cyclothymia, it's a sort lower level bipolar disorder. The worst of it is intense bouts of anger, then the guilt afterwards is pretty horrible. The high periods are ok and I normally get lots of work done, but the lows mean I just want to sleep more and get ratty with everyone.

sam34

zetalambda, post deleted. don't post like that in this forum again or you will be banned.

kewlkat

BPD. Diagnosed as a teenager and again in my 20's. Feel it has wrecked my life. Also have PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder.

HistoryMania

Hey, hope people don'y mind me sharing some of my story.

Had a really bad break down around four years ago when I was 19 , 23 now. At the time I never had any previous diagnoses of mental health issues, although looking back over my life, I say I've being suffering anxiety from a very early childhood.

After a hospital stay was diagnosed as having depression with bad GAD. was on various medication till i found the right one (Mirap), unforuntaley they have recently changed them. (Lexapro) So now hoping to have a chat and try get back on the Mirap.

Just thought i share this to say to anyone newly suffering that it can take a while before getting the right treatment, and hopefully be feeling better soon.

Hope you dont mind me sharing my story.

euser1984

HistoryMania wrote: »

Hey, hope people don'y mind me sharing some of my story.

Had a really bad break down around four years ago when I was 19 , 23 now. At the time I never had any previous diagnoses of mental health issues, although looking back over my life, I say I've being suffering anxiety from a very early childhood.

After a hospital stay was diagnosed as having depression with bad GAD. was on various medication till i found the right one (Mirap), unforuntaley they have recently changed them. (Lexapro) So now hoping to have a chat and try get back on the Mirap.

Just thought i share this to say to anyone newly suffering that it can take a while before getting the right treatment, and hopefully be feeling better soon.

Hope you dont mind me sharing my story.

How did you find your hospital stay?

Dazeyrose99

Hi:), I'm a newbie. I've bipolar disorder, diagnosed over ten years ago.

RachelDDD

From a personal level, I have suffered with Depression in the past. I am posting here about my 16 year old daughter who has currently been diagnosed with BPD. She has had 4 serious suicide attempts and is currently in an in-patient unit. They do not have DBT (Dialectal Behavioural Therapy) available and this is the treatment she needs. Has anyone else had this diagnosis and if so, did you find any specialist or treatment centre for it? Any feedback would be really helpful - feel free to PM me. Thanks

sopretty

The only diagnoses I have seen by my psychiatrist were:

Recurrent Depressive Disorder; Alcohol Dependency; Eating Disorder.

Shrinks are funny. They just meet you and medicate you without telling you what the hell they think is wrong with you. The only reason I know he had formed these diagnoses of me is because he had to write a letter on my behalf.

sopretty

RachelDDD wrote: »

From a personal level, I have suffered with Depression in the past. I am posting here about my 16 year old daughter who has currently been diagnosed with BPD. She has had 4 serious suicide attempts and is currently in an in-patient unit. They do not have DBT (Dialectal Behavioural Therapy) available and this is the treatment she needs. Has anyone else had this diagnosis and if so, did you find any specialist or treatment centre for it? Any feedback would be really helpful - feel free to PM me. Thanks

By BPD - do you mean Borderline Personality Disorder or Bi-polar Disorder?

RachelDDD

Yes, sorry BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder. It is not normally diagnosed until after 18 but doctors have agreed with me that she has this condition.

sopretty

RachelDDD wrote: »

Yes, sorry BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder. It is not normally diagnosed until after 18 but doctors have agreed with me that she has this condition.

There is a facebook support group for this - not sure what it's called, but you should find it easily.
DBT is offered in my location locally, but only during the day, for a period of 2 hours per week.
A friend of mine (psychologist) would argue that private DBT is the way to go.

Don't be afraid to question her doctors about the diagnosis and treatment options.

HistoryMania

euser1984 wrote: »

How did you find your hospital stay?

Hey, sorry only replying to this now I only noticed it!

To be honest I was never really aware when I was there. I mean I knew I was in the hospital but I was in that much of a state that I never really knew what was going on around me. I had physical problems as well so it was a lot of back and forward. Saying that I can safely say that it prob saved my life. I cant start to think about what could have happened if I didn't go.

pheasant tail

RachelDDD wrote: »

From a personal level, I have suffered with Depression in the past. I am posting here about my 16 year old daughter who has currently been diagnosed with BPD. She has had 4 serious suicide attempts and is currently in an in-patient unit. They do not have DBT (Dialectal Behavioural Therapy) available and this is the treatment she needs. Has anyone else had this diagnosis and if so, did you find any specialist or treatment centre for it? Any feedback would be really helpful - feel free to PM me. Thanks

The DBT through the public service is great but there's a long waiting list as each group goes on over the course of 14 months. And its highly unlikely they will accept your daughter until she is 18 so you could join the waiting list now?? Ask her doctors in whatever unit she is staying in and they should point you in the right direction, you will probably need to link in with the HSE psychiatric service in your area

RachelDDD

Just found the FB group now, thanks for the advice. There are some great links there

RachelDDD

pheasant tail wrote: »

The DBT through the public service is great but there's a long waiting list as each group goes on over the course of 14 months. And its highly unlikely they will accept your daughter until she is 18 so you could join the waiting list now?? Ask her doctors in whatever unit she is staying in and they should point you in the right direction, you will probably need to link in with the HSE psychiatric service in your area

Thanks for your reply, thats good to know that there is a service for Adults, I didn't think there was anything at all in Ireland. I just wish I could fast-track her from 16-18 so she could avail of it. I have been told by her hospital that there is no DBT for Adolescents in Ireland, which is a disgrace - no wonder the suicide rates for teenagers is 2nd highest in Europe and rising. I think they expect me to put her in a state of suspended animation for the next 2 years until she is old enough to qualify for the Adult system

sopretty

RachelDDD wrote: »

Thanks for your reply, thats good to know that there is a service for Adults, I didn't think there was anything at all in Ireland. I just wish I could fast-track her from 16-18 so she could avail of it. I have been told by her hospital that there is no DBT for Adolescents in Ireland, which is a disgrace - no wonder the suicide rates for teenagers is 2nd highest in Europe and rising. I think they expect me to put her in a state of suspended animation for the next 2 years until she is old enough to qualify for the Adult system

Your daughter is probably at an almost unprecedented advantage in terms of diagnosis for her age. As has been mentioned, it's hard to diagnose.
You are a wonderful mother (or father?) to have pressed for a diagnosis.
I really really really hope that you can find the correct counselling.
It possibly stands to your daughter that you are in charge as she is under 18. In my limited experience, people with this, disengage from their parents asap as they are not understood.
It must be horrific to have your daughter in such a bad state.
I really hope that you can receive some help.
Just a word to the wise: Some of the groups are not authentic on Facebook, so beware, that anyone, with a diagnosis, can have set up a facebook group. You'll see who are well and who are not I'm sure.

Vision of Disorder

Major Depressive Disorder - almost two years (touch wood) since my last serious dalliance with the blues began. Go me.

DM addict

Diagnosed with depression (or as it was put, a major depressive episode) a good few years ago.

Have been medication free for. . . a year now, I think. After becoming isolated through my depression I developed a fair bit of anxiety on trying to return to 'normal' life. But muddling through with the help of a husband and some CBT. Generally on the up, although I was almost too scared to get out of bed this morning.

RachelDDD

sopretty wrote: »

Your daughter is probably at an almost unprecedented advantage in terms of diagnosis for her age. As has been mentioned, it's hard to diagnose.
You are a wonderful mother (or father?) to have pressed for a diagnosis.
I really really really hope that you can find the correct counselling.
It possibly stands to your daughter that you are in charge as she is under 18. In my limited experience, people with this, disengage from their parents asap as they are not understood.
It must be horrific to have your daughter in such a bad state.
I really hope that you can receive some help.
Just a word to the wise: Some of the groups are not authentic on Facebook, so beware, that anyone, with a diagnosis, can have set up a facebook group. You'll see who are well and who are not I'm sure.

Thank you so much for your lovely message. It has been a 3 year battle to get this diagnosis and it is a huge relief to my daughter and I to finally get an understanding of what is wrong with her. Sure we are not happy that she is ill and will have a lifelong battle, but at least it makes it easier to know what we are dealing with. I am angry with doctors who are reluctant not to 'label' people and more importantly not tell their caregivers what they are dealing with. We were basically told our daughter was a delinquent and attention seeking/out of control etc. We were angry with her self harming & suicide attempts when really the poor kid was helpless and didn't understand it herself. The support for all mental health patients in this country is abysmal and it is just as critical as cancer care or any other serious illness. Once I get my daughter the treatment she needs I intend to try to get some support group going so we can address the government and shame them into doing something to save our young (& older) people who are in crisis with mental health problems.

Gremlinertia

Depression of some sort with some anxiety issues.. Also have borderline personality issues but unsure what they are yet.

lukesmom

GAD - generalised anxiety disorder/depression.

isthisit isthisit

Hey guys i've read a good bit of stuff on the net re mental illness and I find this place the most genuine. Anyhow i'd like to share my story.

When i was in my mid teens I think all my problems started and ever since they've gradually got worse. I found a lump and started to think of the worse, i ignored it for a couple of months and then went to the doctor, he assured me it was ok, but he asked a question at the end, to which i said no without even thinking. After my initial relief i started to think more and more about the question he asked, and i actually realised i wasn't sure of the answer, thus leading me to think i may actually have cancer. My head would yo yo from thinking i'd cancer to thinking i didn't . i waited another 2 years b4 i went back again to doc and in that time Anxiety and panic attacks started to kick in, I didn't tell anyone about any of this, the panic or the cancer fears I felt a lot older back then and i felt i could handle it on my own but in hindsight I realise i was only a kid. Tbh i didn't have a clue what the panic attacks were and i just ignored them hoping they'd go away, much like the lump. The doc reassured me again I didn't have cancer.
The next couple of years in college were a nightmare, my anxiety grew to an extent that i was petrified of attending lectures, i'd immediately feel the panic kick in and want to leave, the thought that i had to stay there for the next hour or so would petrify me. eventually it came to my final year in college and i realised after the first week or two i couldn't go on any longer. a few months later after eating my dinner one day i got another panic attack, i genuinely thought i was getting a stroke or a turn. I finally confided in my mother the way i'd been feeling the past 5 or so years. I went to get private help, the pyschiatrist put me on lexapro and i saw them every few months, i was put on lyrica at a later date. i went back to college and did a new course. Fast forward half a decade later and i'm struggling big time, I now have a full time job which i struggle to get through every day. I'm getting public help the last year and a bit and it feels disasterous, i've been changed from lexapro to effexor. i see a pyschiatrist every 3months or so. I've felt suicidal a fair bit lately, i feel like i'll nevr be better or be able to hold down a proper full time job. i went to doctor a few weeks back telling him i was feeling suicidal and he just said talk to my pyschologist and that at least i don't have scitzophrenia. i wanted to kill myself after taht visit, it felt like noone cared and i was just deteriorating away. he did mention tho my symptons sounded like a personality disorder and i've been reading up on it and i seem to fit the bill for it. i haven't got a proper diagnosis off anyone yet and the help i'm getting feels usi feel so angry and frustrated at times now i just want to split my head off a wall and let all the poisionous bile spill out. i fantasise about the peacefulness of death now, not going through this struggle every day.

McChubbin

I've got bipolor affective disorder, anxiety and late-diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. Got diagnosed as bipolar following a manic episode that might've been sparked by a suspected drink-spiking incident in 2010. Spent 6 weeks in St. Ita's being pumped full of a combination of drugs until they found my current cocktail.
So far, I haven't had any major setbacks since being released but I do tend to have a lot of depressive episodes. Still, trying to stay positive for my own sake.
As for the Aspergers, I was diagnosed at the ripe old age of 22 and I found it made things so much more easier to understand.

I have complex PTSD. Have had it for nearly twenty years. Had it as a kid and was continually at my GP getting blood tests and what not but he was hopeless. Was on Co-Op in 1998 and really really needed to forget to survive and I had probably the happiest time in a long long while. When I got home I went back to the same GP and I knew there was something he wasn't seeing. I had been drinking and smoking (since I was a student) and he finally decided to put me on some anti-depressants because I was in a depressed state. The effects were dramatic. I can remember beating all my friends at arm wrestling and telling my friends that it was the anti-depressants making me stronger. Little did I know they were counteracting the debilitating effects of the as then undiagnosed PTSD. I no longer felt afraid, anxious, nervous or enervated. Alas since I didn't know I had a condition and had terrible self esteem problems I felt as if I were cheating by taking these magical tablets that gave me an advantage over everyone else so I stopped taking them. I suffered a mild psychosis and finally got some counselling. Still didn't know what was wrong with me. Somehow while I was in the psychosis I remember looking it up on wikipedia one night and asking the counsellor the next day about it....all while in a psychosis! Eventually she suggested I try some anti psychotics and that perked me up and later I added some anti-depressants and here you find me!!

Now if I can just get past the total disillusionment with my fellow man for doing this to me in the first place. Oh and the fact I feel nothing. I can't get angry...even when I want to! Ah chemicals!

What a world eh? And some of the GPs out there are diabolical. This old GP I had seen for years got so sick of me he told me that I had unrealistic expectations of the world and when I asked how could I change them he said I couldn't and that they were genetic! Pity he didn't expect a bit more of himself. He had given up on me but he didn't say it. He was just doing the bare minimum and sending me on my way. Heck I went in one time after I had had a migraine earlier that day and he didn't know what that was either...even though again he didn't expressly admit it. Had to figure it out myself with wikipedia again after a relative suggested that was it. The relief was tangible and I'm not nuts after all....well I am but I'm not if you know what I mean.

36 now and I kind of had to sort it all myself. My folks employed a laissez-faire style of parenting! Some bad people out there guys....stay safe.

GeneralC

Diagnosed with Sever/High levels of Generalized Anxiety and Depression, low levels of OCD. Refused to take medications.

I somehow managed to get my degree, now applying to do a masters. I would love to be able to be in a position to move abroad - giving myself a year now to get my masters and work on my mental health.

I want to control my anxiety and not the other way around, it's ruined my life long enough now and destroyed relationships between family, friends and girlfriends.

xLisaBx

I have anxiety but refuse to take medication. I think it would be difficult to stop taking as I'd rely heavily on it. I'm going to university in September and hoping I'll cope with the changes without too many anxiety attacks

damselnat

Rape Trauma Syndrome. A form of PTSD. There, I've said it...

Admitting to myself what happened, and getting help has led to the diagnosis, when previously it was thought my anxiety and depression were illnesses in themselves and not, in fact, symptoms. That has made them hard to treat. It's been a big step, and I hope that with all the work I'm now doing (counselling, medication) I'll one day be free of those symptoms. Some days it feels like I never will be, and there are always the times I think I've come along way, only to be hit by a setback...

I really don't want this to ruin my life however, and even admitting here what I've been diagnosed with feels like a great achievement and a step towards my goals of a happy, unhaunted life x

RayM

Quite severe Social Phobia/Anxiety and secondary depression. It's superficially undramatic, but has had a profoundly dramatic effect on just about every aspect of my life. I'm completely fine when I'm alone, cocooned in my comfort-zone, but I've belatedly come to the conclusion that that's no way to live.