I might be pregnant by the wrong person

secondusername

Sometime ago i had a drunken fling with an old friend which i deeply regret(i would perfer not to talk about this so please dont post about it). We had unprotected sex, he pulled out etc.

To be on the safe side i then got the morning after pill. Everything was ok till i had sex with my bf 3 days later.. he apparently didn't pull out in time and now i've found that im pregnant.

What are the chances that I'm pregnant as a result of the first fling does anyone know?

PucaMama

secondusername wrote: »

Sometime ago i had a drunken fling with an old friend which i deeply regret(i would perfer not to talk about this so please dont post about it). We had unprotected sex, he pulled out etc.

To be on the safe side i then got the morning after pill. Everything was ok till i had sex with my bf 3 days later.. he apparently didn't pull out in time and now i've found that im pregnant.

What are the chances that I'm pregnant as a result of the first fling does anyone know?

No one can tell you that. I'd recommend being honest with your bf about the cheating ASAP so he doesn't get his hopes up. I take it you didn't use protection when you cheated so Std tests should also be done.

secondusername

i only found out a few days ago. i havent told anyone at all. i guess its impossible to tell. i was hoping the pill might have cancelled out the fling

Mariasofia

Its probably not what you want to hear but the chances would be 50-50 as the morning after pill is not 100% effective.

Big Bag of Chips

It's impossible to be 100% sure. You can probably guess by working out your cycle, and the day you most likely ovulated. But it is possible that sperm that was present before you ovulated could have fertilised the egg once it was released...

The morning after pill might have worked - it might not...

The only way you will ever be 100% sure is a DNA test once the baby is born.

LegacyUser

How long afterwards did you get the morning after pill? A couple of hours, a day, two days...? It becomes less effective the later it's taken, up to a maximum of 72 hours or maybe more for certain brands. Also, are you 100% sure you're pregnant? The MAP can mess with your cycle. Have you taken a test or gone to the doctor?

PucaMama

secondusername wrote: »

i only found out a few days ago. i havent told anyone at all. i guess its impossible to tell. i was hoping the pill might have cancelled out the fling

The pill may have protected against pregnancy but your bf deserves to know he is at risk from your behaviour

secondusername

i took it the next day. the test said pregnant

PucaMama

secondusername wrote: »

i took it the next day. the test said pregnant

Pregnancy tests don't work the day after sex it doesn't happen as quick as that so if u mean the day after u had sex with your boyfriend then it's not his

secondusername

no its been 3/4 weeks later i took the test

ElleEm

It is definitely possible that you could be pregnant from the first unprotected sex. I have a couple of friends who got pregnant from the withdrawal method, one took the morning after pill too.
You should be honest with your boyfriend too. It will be diffucult, but he has a right to know. Don't fool him into thinking this baby is his if you cannot be 100% sure. A DNA test is the only way to be sure.

ABajaninCork

secondusername wrote: »

i took it the next day. the test said pregnant

I'm confused. You took what the next day? The morning after pill or the test??

PucaMama

secondusername wrote: »

no its been 3/4 weeks later i took the test

So what did u take the next day

secondusername

Morning after pill the next day after the fling. Then the test 3 weeks later which has showed up as pregnant

Little Acorn

Morning after pill can be up to 98% effective I think (2 out of every 100 will get pregnant), but this effectiveness will depend on how soon you took the pill, the sooner the better.

I used to hear that if a morning after pill failed that there could be a risk that the resulting pregnancy would be an ectopic pregnancy, but this link seems to say that is false: http://www.babymed.com/blogs/jaclyn-stewart/will-failed-emergency-contraceptives-cause-ectopic-pregnancy

I would check with your doctor to be sure though.

I think you need to tell your boyfriend the truth, and you probably will have to get a paternity test too if you choose to continue the pregnancy because I think that is the only way to know for 100% who the father is.

I think you really need to speak to someone close and/or professional about this. Your boyfriend and the old friend of course, but also with somebody else to discuss how you are feeling about all this. I imagine you may be very shocked, confused and frightened right now, so speak to a friend and your doctor.

PucaMama

secondusername wrote: »

Morning after pill the next day after the fling. Then the test 3 weeks later which has showed up as pregnant

You need a DNA test and to tell your boyfriend you cheated. It's 50/50.

Tasden

You really need to get an sti test done. You had unprotected sex with someone and then with your boyfriend who is obviously trusting you enough to be monogamous and not pass anything to him if he's having unprotected sex with you. I'm assuming you're not going to tell him considering you're asking online about the chances of it not being his etc. so at least go and get tested to make sure you don't have something that could have been passed on to him.

Even if we could statistically break the chances down to a 99% chance its his and a 1% chance its not, you don't know that your baby is gonna be in that 1% or not. You're still going to have that doubt there, and I think you know that yourself, even if the chances are in your favour you'll still be worrying and doubting until its confirmed.

You need to talk to someone- a friend/counsellor/ whoever, you need support. All the best.

secondusername

ok thank you everyone.

ABajaninCork

I'm sorry, but it is entirely possible to get pregnant even after taking the morning after pill. Are you absolutely certain you're pregnant??

I'd get a doctor to test again to make sure. Then start using your arithmetic skills to work out the possible father. And even then, you'll need a DNA test.

Get yourself tested for STD's whilst you're about it too, since protection clearly hasn't been used.

fussyonion

Hi OP, I know this is very stressful for you but you must tell your boyfriend the truth.

No matter how painful it's going to be, no matter what happens, you have to be a decent person and be honest with him.

You only have to look at Jeremy Kyle to see the amount of loving Dads who go on for DNA tests only to find out their three/four-year-old's aren't theirs.
Surely you don't want to break a man's heart and your childs'?

I know that's a long way off, but no matter what happens, your partner WILL respect you for at least being honest.
Don't string him along; it's not fair.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

seb65

Go to your doctor. Going through your cycle with you, he or she can generally tell you the date of conception.

I don't think it's a 50/50 chance. I would place the more likely bet on the child being your boyfriend's. The MAP is highly effective and you took it very soon after.

Get yourself tested for stds first, before you tell your bf anything. If there's nothing, you'll save him the stress of worrying and waiting for results for 4-6 weeks.

Personally, I wouldn't disclose anything to him unless you have to. He won't give you credit for being honest, he'll be heartbroken and this may lead to long term trust issues for him.

jimd2

From reading your post, the old friend pulled out and you took the morning after pill while your boyfriend did not pull out in time so I would say that, on the balance of probabilities, it is your boyfriend that is the father.

However, what to do from here it is a difficult decision. You need to speak to someone that you really trust and respect their views and that knows you well. They would be best placed to advise you. If you cannot identify someone then you should try and speak to a counsellor. I think that you do need to tell your BF as has been said here earlier because of the risk of STIs as well as the pregnancy possibility.


Everyone makes mistakes so dont beat yourself up too much. It shouldnt have happened but you need to deal with it in the best way possible as you have a little life depending on you now. Try not to get too stressed over this as your emotions may be haywire because of the pregnancy. Hopefully the morning sickness is not too bad.

kylith

You need to get your contraception sorted. There is being lucky, but there is no such thing as 'pulling out in time', precum has sperm in it too and that'll get you just as pregnant. Talk to a doctor about hormonal or barrier contraceptives.

zxcvbnm1

kylith wrote: »

You need to get your contraception sorted. There is being lucky, but there is no such thing as 'pulling out in time', precum has sperm in it too and that'll get you just as pregnant. Talk to a doctor about hormonal or barrier contraceptives.

Precum does not contain any Sperm. Google it. However - of there us sperm in his pipes (eg he masturbated that day the Precum can pick up the residue sperm on its travels )

OP - it's a tricky one.
Firstly - I think the chances if it being your boyfriends are statistically nearly 100%. (Combining withdrawal with MAP from other guy ensures this)

However - unless you are somehow able to satisfy yourself 100% on this then I think you will have to do paternity test.
If you don't it will always be some secret you are carrying around with you and it will wear you down as you will probably never be able to completely forget about it. .

When you watch your bf loving the child and you knowing it may not even be his will torment you forever.
I think for your own sanity - and out if fairness to your bf - you have to own up.

Faith

The morning after pill works like a massive dose of the regular contraceptive pill - it is supposed to stop the ovaries releasing and egg and/or prevent the egg from being able to attach to the lining of the womb. If you took the MAP and it was successful, I doubt (although I stand to be corrected) whether you would physiologically be able to get pregnant within the next few days as your body wouldn't have returned to normal yet. So it seems to me that either the MAP didn't work, in which case the pregnancy could be from either guy, or else you were pregnant prior taking the MAP, presumably from your boyfriend.

The above poster is correct about precum only having a minimum of sperm in it, so statistically it's likely to be your boyfriends baby. However, nobody here can tell you who's it is, so you should really speak to your doctor. And for honesty's sake, tell your boyfriend you cheated. If you're thinking about raising a child with him, he deserves to know about the infidelity and that the child might not be his.

dellas1979

I was going to post similar to Faith

The MAP (IF effective) breaks down the lining of your womb/makes it an inhospidable environment for an egg to fertilize.

The wheels would already have been in motion by the time you slept with your BF, except if you were already pregnant/MAP didnt work. Not to frighten you, but it sounds like its your friends (unless as already stated above, you were already pregnant before all this happened).

Bottom line is, you really need to tell your bf whats happened.

ViveLaVie

Faith wrote: »

The morning after pill works like a massive dose of the regular contraceptive pill - it is supposed to stop the ovaries releasing and egg and/or prevent the egg from being able to attach to the lining of the womb. If you took the MAP and it was successful, I doubt (although I stand to be corrected) whether you would physiologically be able to get pregnant within the next few days as your body wouldn't have returned to normal yet. So it seems to me that either the MAP didn't work, in which case the pregnancy could be from either guy, or else you were pregnant prior taking the MAP, presumably from your boyfriend.

The above poster is correct about precum only having a minimum of sperm in it, so statistically it's likely to be your boyfriends baby. However, nobody here can tell you who's it is, so you should really speak to your doctor. And for honesty's sake, tell your boyfriend you cheated. If you're thinking about raising a child with him, he deserves to know about the infidelity and that the child might not be his.

The MAP will not protect you from getting pregnant if you have sex after taking it. It's highly possible she got pregnant from her boyfriend too.

Big Bag of Chips

Ok, we are now getting into the territory of medical advice. OP, you need to visit your GP, and probably a crisis pregnancy organisation too.

Here are some links from the Charter

Contraception/m.a.p./crises pregnancy

http://www.positiveoptions.ie/index.php

http://www.ifpa.ie/

http://www.wellwomancentre.ie/

http://www.bpas.org/

Please make contact with someone, and talk to them.

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