Help

srdb20

Hi there,

I've split from my ex partner over a year now, we own a house jointly and have a 2yr old child together.

We currently live approximately 2.5 hours from each other due to work.

Every week I pay for half my child's creche fees and also pay my ex maintenance for my child. On top of this I am still paying my half of the mortgage. And up to 2 months ago several of the bills.

I'm back living with my parents as I can't afford to live anywhere else at the moment.

It costs me a little over 100 euro in fuel and tolls to collect my child and I don't want her to be able to just turn around and tell me after driving for 2.5 hours that I can't take him. It just doesn't seem fair or right.

I just have a couple of questions and hope somebody would have some experience or advice in relation to this.

1. How much should you be paying per week? (I understand this is a how Long Is a piece of string type question, but looking for people's experiences)

2. Recently she tried to stop me taking my child on our agreed days, (not court ordered just organised between ourselves) what are my options in relation to this? This was due to an argument in relation to money, she wanted more for a one off deposit for my child's creche.

Unfortunately I have received a paycut again this year and have nothing left to give her.

I'm in extreme financial difficulties and am lucky to have 20 left a week.

3.i really don't want to go to court and all that it entails, but if it comes to that what is the procedure and likely outcomes?

4. Any and all advice from people who have gone through similar experiences and can offer any help, would be greatly appreciated.

Just extremely stressed and worried about everything.

Thanks

cgh

the only advice I would recommond is first to go get some proper legal advice.
then seek mediation with your partner and work it out from there.

best of luck

GarIT

1. €20 per week per 10k yearly gross income.

2. You could stop paying anything until you have it in writing when you can see the child.

3. See 1 and you'd get court ordered visitation days.

desbrook

GarIT wrote: »

1. €20 per week per 10k yearly gross income.

2. You could stop paying anything until you have it in writing when you can see the child.

3. See 1 and you'd get court ordered visitation days.

If there's one thing that annoys Judge's (and me ) it playing tit for tat with maintainance and access . That is typically fathers saying I won't pay till I get xyz access or typically mothers saying I want xyz maintainance in then you can have access . The issues are separate and should remain so - each is judged separately on each issues merits !

Taltos

Can I remind posters we cannot offer legal advice here.
Similarly offering advice that could well jeopardise any legal action is also banned.

Thanks
Taltos

srdb20

Thanks for all the replies so far, I would never stop paying, at the end of the day I know it's going to my child.

I honestly thought we would be able to keep things amicable and even friendly but the entire situation seems to be getting worse and worse and because she has now tried and threatened to stop me seeing my son, I'm afraid that this will become a regular occurrence if she doesn't get everything she wants.

I just want to have some stability in my child's life and ensure when I am meant to have him that she cannot simply decide on a whim that I'm not going to get him.

This is my first forray into family law issues and to be honest the system seems to be stacked against the father. (of course I'm bias here :-))

I understand that Alot of fathers out there don't want access or don't pay maintenance, but my son is my priorty and the most important person in my life, and it kills me that she can decide when and if I get to see him.

Any info that can't be posted in this forum please pm any relevant information you think may be of use.

Again thanks for all the help so far.

srdb20

Edit - I'm not looking for legal advice just, general advice, and experience from people that can help me in this matter.

Thanks

desbrook

srdb20 wrote: »

Edit - I'm not looking for legal advice just, general advice, and experience from people that can help me in this matter.

Thanks

If she is stopping you having access because of a maintenance issue then you need legal intervention of some description. Otherwise a tit for tat situation will develop and pretty soon noone will remember who started it. You need to see a solicitor.

srdb20

Thanks I've made an appointment for one next week, fingers crossed it'll be sorted ASAP .

JJJJNR

Dont waste your time with a solicitor just go to the courts and get advice from a clerk, as far as I know you can do all this without paying solicitors fees.

srdb20

JJJJNR wrote: »

Dont waste your time with a solicitor just go to the courts and get advice from a clerk, as far as I know you can do all this without paying solicitors fees.

Would the outcome be the same though....?

Also if I want to go to court do u have to make an application in the county where my ex partner is living or my local one?

Thanks

jawacz

srdb20 wrote: »

Would the outcome be the same though....?

Also if I want to go to court do u have to make an application in the county where my ex partner is living or my local one?

Thanks

See uspi.ie